To be bored to tears by men in online dating?

31 replies

Supernova23 · 19/02/2023 13:33

Because it's apparently impossible to meet someone organically now. So online it is. However, I can't get over how boring people are in their messaging. Literally, does any man type a message other than "how r u?", "wot u doing this weeknd?" and "wot u wearing?". Half of them are as thick as mince and can't string a sentence together.

How are people meeting other normal people that can hold a conversation on these apps?

OP posts:

PopGoesTheProsecco · 17/03/2023 18:39

ArianahX · 17/03/2023 18:15

I will defend some men by saying... I know several 40 something men from w/c backgrounds who were possibly dyslexic or whose families weren't interested in encouraging their education; who went to rubbish secondary schools & left school early some with hardly any GCSEs or some even barely literate... yet they have gone on to have good practical careers & jobs such as plumber, supermarket manager, carpenter etc, which they excel at & earn decent money in, they are interested in current affairs which they follow on tv & online, they have various interests & hobbies; these particular men are generally kind hearted good company and um, the ones I am thinking of also sadly all have wives.
Their messaging skills DO leave a lot to be desired eg "how u hun" is standard but that does not reflect the actual reality of who these men are.

What I'm trying to say is please don't write off men of a certain age with poor messaging skills as they may have had a bad education like these men & may in fact be actually worth getting to know.

This perfectly describes my DP. His childhood was not one where he was ‘encouraged in his school work’. He is almost certainly dyslexic. He does a very skilled manual job, but does have political opinions, hobbies and interests etc. Not that I’d have known this from his messages.

Based on his messaging skills I’d have binned him at the off if it hadn’t been for my friends telling me to go on the date. I’m so glad I did as I’ve never been this happy.

We’re so different but he’s my absolute soul mate.

PopGoesTheProsecco · 17/03/2023 18:42

I should probably add that the ExH also likes DP and often (admittedly after a couple of beers) will say what an amazing stepdad DP is.

Astralitzia · 17/03/2023 18:42

You can usually tell how a man will message by the way he's written his profile. Don't swipe right on those who can't string a sentence together. Look for those who have put a little thought into it and who have a basic grasp of spelling.

reddwarfgeek · 17/03/2023 18:43

It's been over a decade since I did OLD. I have to say that Guardian soulmates was fantastic.

I have a friend (scientist) who met his lovely other half (teacher) on Hinge. Have you tried that, OP?

PopGoesTheProsecco · 17/03/2023 18:52

reddwarfgeek · 17/03/2023 18:43

It's been over a decade since I did OLD. I have to say that Guardian soulmates was fantastic.

I have a friend (scientist) who met his lovely other half (teacher) on Hinge. Have you tried that, OP?

My former boss me her husband on there. He was also a teacher. They come across as a really happy and devoted couple.

But it is hard, OLD. You don’t get the additional info - like tone of voice, facial expressions, body language. It’s just words before you meet them.

ForestDad · 17/03/2023 18:58

OptimisticSix · 17/03/2023 18:26

My male friend, 40, is looking but has 4 young children and has found he is only attracting women in their early 20s who seem to have a romantic idea of raising four children. The women his own age just dismiss as too much (which I would too to be fair!).

That's funny, a romantic view of raising 4 kids. Is The Darling Buds of May on Netflix or something?

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