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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish for an adults only pub?

187 replies

Floofydawg · 19/02/2023 07:39

I mean, when did it become acceptable Saturday afternoon entertainment for small children to take them to the pub?

Walked into our local yesterday to what appeared to be a badly run nursery. One small child with iPad on, sound up. Large group of adults ignoring child, who is clearly bored. Starts crying loudly and mother/auntie decides to imitate child and pretend cry, very loudly.

Another group with four small children making a ridiculous amount of noise, so much so that the bar staff had to have a word with them as she couldn't hear to answer the phone. We were struggling to have a conversation.

Is it too much to ask for a quiet pint in a pub without having to listen to screeching kids?

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 19/02/2023 07:42

Yanbu; I was in the pub minding my own business the other night and then a family came in making an incredible amount of noise with screaming kids, really annoying. Pubs should be for adults

BigMandysBookClub · 19/02/2023 07:49

You need to go to a pub that doesn't serve food. Serving food and having outdoor space tends to invite families in. There were pubs for families some 40 years ago when I was a kid. It's nothing new.

I don't agree with you. They should be for everyone. Years ago, some kids just got dumped outside in the car with a bag of sweets so their parents could booze (and drive them home pissed). I think it's a good thing as long as it a couple of pints and isn't parents getting hammered in front of their kids.

You need to find adult only pubs. There are plenty of them around. Lots of pubs geared around sports are adults only and there are some nicer ones in my town that are strictly no kids after 8pm.

The issue is we have people complaining about unsettled kids in public spaces, but at the same time would be on AIBU that they were in a restaurant and kids were glued to screens all the time. Can't win.

LittleBearPad · 19/02/2023 07:53

You need to go to pubs with better parents on them.

Large group of adults ignoring child, who is clearly bored. Starts crying loudly and mother/auntie decides to imitate child and pretend cry, very loudly.

This is just mean

sizeofahippo · 19/02/2023 07:54

YANBU to want a quiet pint but its nice for families to get together too. The problem is the parents who go to the pub and then ignore their kids to drink so the kids then whine and misbehave.

thefemaleJoshLyman · 19/02/2023 07:54

We were asked to leave a pub on Friday because it was adults only and we had quiet DD13 with us! There were no signs up and it was central London. We just assumed we could get a drink but they didn't serve food and didn't have a licence for under 18s. It was no problem to leave (although we had to down our drinks) and we did find another pub ( we were early for a restaurant reservation, restaurant wasn't open yet). I suspect that it was another customer who complained.

TBH I think adults only pubs can be very pleasant! Signage might be useful though. I wonder if pubs that don't allow children would usually be able to make enough to survive. We used to taken DC to a pub on a Saturday afternoon - it had the best playground in the area.

GoodChat · 19/02/2023 07:56

You need to find adult only pubs.

Why didn't the OP think of that?!

PuttingDownRoots · 19/02/2023 07:59

I remember going to the pub occasionally as a child with extended family (my dad has at least 50 cousins, his mother was one of 12 and father one of 13!!). Famies had to be in the separate room off to one side.

DD sometimes goes in the rugby clubhouse with her dad after Friday practice... the parents make more noise than the kids who are off in one corner with their cokes and crisps.

Emmamoo89 · 19/02/2023 07:59

I don't agree with you.

Original poster
Floofydawg · 19/02/2023 07:59

Thing is, I love my local. But they do serve (very good) food which obviously attracts families. But half the time the families aren't eating, just sat getting pissed with bored kids in tow.

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 19/02/2023 08:00

Kids were at the pub when I was a kid. Usually sat on the step with a bottle of pop and a bag of crisps.

ItsCalledAConversation · 19/02/2023 08:01

BigMandysBookClub · 19/02/2023 07:49

You need to go to a pub that doesn't serve food. Serving food and having outdoor space tends to invite families in. There were pubs for families some 40 years ago when I was a kid. It's nothing new.

I don't agree with you. They should be for everyone. Years ago, some kids just got dumped outside in the car with a bag of sweets so their parents could booze (and drive them home pissed). I think it's a good thing as long as it a couple of pints and isn't parents getting hammered in front of their kids.

You need to find adult only pubs. There are plenty of them around. Lots of pubs geared around sports are adults only and there are some nicer ones in my town that are strictly no kids after 8pm.

The issue is we have people complaining about unsettled kids in public spaces, but at the same time would be on AIBU that they were in a restaurant and kids were glued to screens all the time. Can't win.

A screen is not the only way to settle a child for a meal/social time out in a pub or restaurant. It beggars belief that suddenly people think it’s running around screaming OR a screen, no in between.

Our kids have literally never watched screens at the table. It’s the one single sloppy parenting thing I fully judge people for. Of course they have screen time at other times, I’m not a weirdo! But I don’t believe the family mealtime is the time to be shut off on screens. Kids should be chatting, playing cards/ tabletop games/stickers/colouring/ fiddling with ketchup packets (when desperate we have been known to play ketchup/mayo sachet domino’s)…there is literally no excuse for giving your child a screen at the table, that way they will never learn what’s expected of them in that kind of space. They will never learn social skills/conversation/sitting quietly. I don’t buy the argument that they get social skills at other times, sure they do, but not skills that apply to this particular behaviour, sitting still and quiet and enjoying a family meal out. My kids are 7 and 9 for reference. They’re not angels but we eat out enjoyably with them because we’ve done this with them since they were tiny.

JimHensonWasAGenius · 19/02/2023 08:02

thefemaleJoshLyman · 19/02/2023 07:54

We were asked to leave a pub on Friday because it was adults only and we had quiet DD13 with us! There were no signs up and it was central London. We just assumed we could get a drink but they didn't serve food and didn't have a licence for under 18s. It was no problem to leave (although we had to down our drinks) and we did find another pub ( we were early for a restaurant reservation, restaurant wasn't open yet). I suspect that it was another customer who complained.

TBH I think adults only pubs can be very pleasant! Signage might be useful though. I wonder if pubs that don't allow children would usually be able to make enough to survive. We used to taken DC to a pub on a Saturday afternoon - it had the best playground in the area.

Even if, had you suspected wrongly and no one complained, you said yourself that they didn't have a licence for under 18s.

However, in that case they shouldn't have let you order drinks in the first place thus having to down them quickly.

That was very sly. Glad you got sorted though and hope your meal was nice

ItsCalledAConversation · 19/02/2023 08:02

Also the pub you were in sounds rough as fuck OP, find a nicer place to go!

JimHensonWasAGenius · 19/02/2023 08:05

ItsCalledAConversation · 19/02/2023 08:01

A screen is not the only way to settle a child for a meal/social time out in a pub or restaurant. It beggars belief that suddenly people think it’s running around screaming OR a screen, no in between.

Our kids have literally never watched screens at the table. It’s the one single sloppy parenting thing I fully judge people for. Of course they have screen time at other times, I’m not a weirdo! But I don’t believe the family mealtime is the time to be shut off on screens. Kids should be chatting, playing cards/ tabletop games/stickers/colouring/ fiddling with ketchup packets (when desperate we have been known to play ketchup/mayo sachet domino’s)…there is literally no excuse for giving your child a screen at the table, that way they will never learn what’s expected of them in that kind of space. They will never learn social skills/conversation/sitting quietly. I don’t buy the argument that they get social skills at other times, sure they do, but not skills that apply to this particular behaviour, sitting still and quiet and enjoying a family meal out. My kids are 7 and 9 for reference. They’re not angels but we eat out enjoyably with them because we’ve done this with them since they were tiny.

Show quote history

Has it ever occurred to your judgey self that not all kids have screens whilst out socialising purely to watch tv or game?🙄

anotheragain · 19/02/2023 08:07

Large group of adults ignoring child, who is clearly bored. Starts crying loudly and mother/auntie decides to imitate child and pretend cry, very loudly

And your response was, ‘poor me, all this noise!’

Rather than, ‘that poor child being raised by cruel, inadequate parents’.?

Zanatdy · 19/02/2023 08:08

Unless it’s for a meal it’s really inappropriate for kids to be sitting in pubs for hours. My friend did it with her kids. If people are going to take iPads to entertain kids at least take headphones.

gogohmm · 19/02/2023 08:08

It's not he parents that are the issue. There's children in our pubs locally and normally they are very well behaved. Unfortunately being coastal we get visitors, especially in summer, and I notice how they seem to think their children are entitled to disturb others- but the staff at our non food pub do not stand for this, children must be sat with parents, accompanied to the toilets/outside and no audible noise is allowed from devices or they are asked to leave. After 8pm they turn a blind eye to well behaved children they know, others are told no kids after 8 (live music at weekends)

Original poster
Floofydawg · 19/02/2023 08:09

ItsCalledAConversation · 19/02/2023 08:02

Also the pub you were in sounds rough as fuck OP, find a nicer place to go!

It's really really not. Very nice country pub in lovely area.

OP posts:
thefemaleJoshLyman · 19/02/2023 08:09

@JimHensonWasAGenius Our meal was delicious, thank you! We then went to see a show which was great and the reason DD was with us.

500thousand · 19/02/2023 08:11

In two minds over this - when we took our kids to the pub, we took cards and played games with them (we still do but they are adults now), they had a nice time and so did we - always avoided pubs with playgrounds attached because they were always a nightmare. Went up to Edinburgh for a short trip, kids were 12 or 13 at the time and we really struggled with getting an evening drink, we're talking 6pm after a day of sightseeing. The restaurant we booked insisted that we left by 8pm and lots of restaurants and pubs wouldn't allow us in at all.
But I have been in pubs with poorly supervised children and it is bloody awful, football/rugby on the telly and lots of screaming is awful too - sometimes it's impossible to get a drink in peace.

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 19/02/2023 08:12

Kids have always been in pubs. The difference is when I went to the pub as a child I spent all my time outside in a massive plastic tree with a slide on. Bring those back I say.

Your problem seems to be with poor parenting.

kirinm · 19/02/2023 08:13

I find the whole argument that kids shouldn't be allowed in pubs pretty boring now. There are still plenty of pubs that are not child friendly so use one of those.

ichundich · 19/02/2023 08:13

Floofydawg · 19/02/2023 07:59

Thing is, I love my local. But they do serve (very good) food which obviously attracts families. But half the time the families aren't eating, just sat getting pissed with bored kids in tow.

So the issue were the adults, not the kids. YABU, a pub(lic house) is for everyone.

BiasedBinding · 19/02/2023 08:14

Why not open one yourself?

”I mean, when did it become acceptable Saturday afternoon entertainment for small children to take them to the pub?”

in the good old days they were left in the car

JimHensonWasAGenius · 19/02/2023 08:14

thefemaleJoshLyman · 19/02/2023 08:09

@JimHensonWasAGenius Our meal was delicious, thank you! We then went to see a show which was great and the reason DD was with us.

That's nice to hear. Eating out can be very hit and miss nowadays and not cheap either, which is a real punch in the gut if it is rubbish!

Also just noticed your username - I love it, I am a huge fan of that fantastic show, and I'm actually rewatching it at the moment 😀