ExH & Partner invading my space

[Thinkitsrainingagain]

I probably am being unreasonable but I am so pissed off with ExH!

I have been a member of a sports club for about 8 years or so. I really enjoy going and have a nice social group there. ExH & his partner have now decided to join. Whilst we co-parent amicably (most of the time!), I do not want to have him in my space. I really don't want to be anywhere near his partner either.

She wasn't the other woman but walked round the house we shared before divorce pricing up what we had and telling ExH what he should take and what she wanted (caught on dog cam). I was broken mentally by that point and didn't have the energy to fight back (they took all the high re-sale value items and sold them).

I am in a much better place now and have life on track and going well. The sports club is a place where I can go and let off steam after a stressful day at work and catch up with friends at the weekend for a chat.

ExH has never really shown any interest in this sport. He joined for a year after I asked for the divorce (mainly to make me feel uncomfortable) but rarely attended after I didn't react to his being there. As far as I am aware, his partner has never shown any interest in this sport.

I don't want to be around this woman or ExH but there is nothing I can do is there? If I tell ExH I don't want him there he will make sure that he goes to cause me discomfort. There are other clubs they could join if they have found a new passion for the sport but it looks like I will be the one to either stop or join elsewhere.

Why after 3 years is he being such a dick???

(Sorry - more of a rant than AIBU)

I totally agree with the "kill with kindness" approach. Give him huge beaming smiles and see if you can muster a look of pity for her. Imagine he's holding a torch for you and that's why he's joined but she's all unaware.

Pretend you're acting in a film 😉

I agree with the kill them with kindness approach.

I still think this is one of those situations orchestrated by the man though, and the girlfriend has been roped in to it to keep him happy. He’s trying to make you feel uncomfortable and what better person to bring along than his new girlfriend? I’m sure deep down she’d rather go to a different sports centre to the one you go to in all honesty. This is all about his game I bet.

The best revenge is a life lived well . You have made a new life for yourself around this club, you are known and well regarded there, if anyone is going to feel awkward it shouldn’t be you. You have friends and supporters at the club, they will see you through this. Let a few more people know what you caught them doing on the dog cam, that will help people to make up their minds about how to behave towards them.

I agree to kill him with kindness. If they think you mind, they will get pleasure from it. At the same time I'd be coldly polite to the girlfriend make sure everyone knew that she went round tour house pricing up your belongings during the divorce snd you caught her on the dog cam. There's not a woman alive who won't quietly think she's a skank for that behaviour. They'll judge her even if they're openly friendly.