Presents for children's parties

[FurBabyMum02]

I have a 20 month old who is at nursery and has just started to be invited to little birthday parties. He has his second one this weekend. For both parties I have given a magic painting book (one of those you just add water and paint the picture), they are around £5.50 and I've just bought 4 from Amazon on offer ready for the inevitable next set of parties.

Husband thinks we should give something physically bigger, he felt bad that last time we had one of the smaller presents to give (but I do think some of the others attending were family or family friends from speaking to a few people). My thinking is that I have never met either the parents or child at this point so don't want to spend more than £5 and our child loves his painting books so hopefully they will aswell. But I do think he has a point in that these are the people that will will likely see at parties for the next few years at least until he starts school if not beyond and I don't want to be seen as the 'cheap' parents.

If my son ends up with a 'best friend' or actually doing playdates etc I'm 100% open to doing bigger presents as at that point I would have an idea what the child actually likes and would know them better so be willing to spend more etc.

AIBU to do little presents like this at least for now? Or is this not enough?

Keep doing wha my your doing it’s fine! If you want to bulk it out you could always get a load of cheap books from the works and add one of those too. But I think magic painting alone is fine.

I wouldn’t care how much a gift is worth, it’s more important that you and your child show up and want to celebrate with us.

That being said, I would try to match the gift to the value of the party. I know at less than 2 years old, the parties are likely to be in someone’s house or something low key but in the future if a parent were to pay for my DC to go to the cinema, soft play, trampoline park etc for a party, then I would go for more the £20 mark.

Dont over think it, any decent parent won’t care

I was just talking about those magic painting books with my eldest daughter (21). They were ideal for flights because they made no mess I don't remember spending £5.50 on one though!
Anyway, it's a lovely little gift. I would possibly add an extra little thing, but that's just me.

It’s a good gift. They can use it, enjoy it and bin it. Zero clutter.

Please - stick to that. Most kids don’t need more toys, and as a parent I would prefer something like that

Doesn’t your dh realise that size isn’t everything?😂

Parents don't want physically big gifts! I'm lucky that my DS continues to think books are great gifts, and I'm thankful for every parent that gives him them rather than some toy that he'll adore for a week, never play with again and refuse to get rid of.

What you're doing is absolutely fine. Most people will be very happy with that.
Believe me, the parents will thank you for not turning up with the 10th gift they've been given that day that takes up loads of space!

Absolutely fine. It's a great present, and speaking as a parent, I didn't like it when other parents (aside from close friends) brought larger presents as then I felt like I will have to reciprocate when it comes to that kid's party and the whole thing gets expensive. Kids get way too much clutter for their birthday, best to choose something simple and keep it at that.

Little presents. They'll get bigger presents from close family. There's only so much space to store things.

100% agree. Books, and neat tidy craft books particularly, are ideal at that age.

Age 3-5 we went for Orchard games (bought from Amazon when they do the flash sales and put away) or Osborne Jigsaws (likewise) and now it's school people stick a tenner in an envelope or a book voucher which is EVEN BETTER when you're 8.

It does depend on the school. At my friends school £30 is standard. I'm glad I'm not there. I barely spend that on family 🤣

Orchard games are fab, aren't they? I love how they can be educational or just for fun.

I think that sounds fine. I aim for £5-10 unless it’s a very close friend or cousin. There will be a lot of parties through the year.

That being said, I would try to match the gift to the value of the party.

And I would never do this. The gift isn’t payment for the party. It’s a gesture of friendship for the child. Same as I wouldn’t buy a richer friend who hosted a more lavish wedding a more expensive gift.

My daughter got one of those usborne magic painting books from her nursery friend last year and it was her very favourite present. And big presents are a complete pain!

I never try and match the value of the present to the cost of the party; it’s not an exchange and just because someone else can afford to spend £££ per child doesn’t mean I can.

like you I buy multiples of one thing when it’s on offer to have in the cupboard. Orchard games, Pass the Pigs, kites, Top Trumps, Silly Safari card game, small lego sets and “how to draw cartoon” books have al featured over the years.

Your Magic Painting book sounds great to me. Now my children are infant school aged, I usually go more than £5 but less than £10, Sainsburys do a good 2 for £15 deal on toys.

I love physical small gifts.

I think it's fine tbh. The child will get loads of presents and some of the smaller ones can be the best in the child's eyes. We took DD to a party in November and we had a big gift which we walked in with. Other parents looked at us. However they didn't realise it was our nephew's party so we obviously spend more on him than random child.

Love a present that is something to do/use rather than a plastic toy to be stored. Sounds lovely. Pad it out with a pack of chocs if works as a compromise with DH but absolutely fine on its own.

I was wondering this too tbh.
My DD went to her first birthday party last week (for a 2-yr-old) and I got them a shark water bottle, which was only £2, but I'm wondering if it was too small. I chose it because the theme was "under the sea" and it was all I could find, and we don't know them (nursery friend). But now I'm wondering if it looked stingy...

I love small gifts, books and crafty stuff! Perfect for a rainy afternoon or to keep occupied while we're out for lunch. I usually do a little activity/craft gift, some chocs and a little book or pencils. Only spend about £5-6 but looks like a bag full. I stock up in the Works!

£5 is absolutely fine to spend on kid you barely know. It’s what I spent on the constant revolving door of 1st and 2nd nct birthdays.

It’s also perfectly acceptable size wise. If anything smaller consumable activity presents are ideal.

Don’t over think it, your DH is a moron.

I too get those water colouring in books! Best things ever! Or recently getting some of the Melissa and Doug reusable sticker books from Amazon. Asda had a great deal on books when I went before Christmas, so got a few of the axel scheffler books for about £3.50! My daughter is always delighted with those. I agree - "big" presents are for family and close friends to give. I much prefer smaller bits and bobs or things that can be part of a set like the £5-10 Lego sets now she's a bit older.

@ALS94 That being said, I would try to match the gift to the value of the party.

Why? So the children who’s parents can’t afford a fancy party get a worse present and the children who’s parents can already afford a fancy party get a better present?
Some pretty backwards logic there!

I think it’s fine too.

I really hate the idea of matching the gift to the party. The effect is presumably that kids whose parents can afford a fancy party also get a pile of fancy gifts. And the kids with parents on a budget get less good stuff.