Presents for children's parties

[FurBabyMum02]

I have a 20 month old who is at nursery and has just started to be invited to little birthday parties. He has his second one this weekend. For both parties I have given a magic painting book (one of those you just add water and paint the picture), they are around £5.50 and I've just bought 4 from Amazon on offer ready for the inevitable next set of parties.

Husband thinks we should give something physically bigger, he felt bad that last time we had one of the smaller presents to give (but I do think some of the others attending were family or family friends from speaking to a few people). My thinking is that I have never met either the parents or child at this point so don't want to spend more than £5 and our child loves his painting books so hopefully they will aswell. But I do think he has a point in that these are the people that will will likely see at parties for the next few years at least until he starts school if not beyond and I don't want to be seen as the 'cheap' parents.

If my son ends up with a 'best friend' or actually doing playdates etc I'm 100% open to doing bigger presents as at that point I would have an idea what the child actually likes and would know them better so be willing to spend more etc.

AIBU to do little presents like this at least for now? Or is this not enough?

I'd hate the thought of throwing a party for my child and then parents being worried about what to get, whether it's enough, etc. Of course it's the etiquette to get something but I know my kids would be completely happy with a sheet of stickers! Whatever you feel comfortable with/can afford is fine.

@Swiftswatch you’re suggesting that a cheaper present is a worse present, which it isn’t.

If a party involved them paying for my child to attend something expensive (for example DS attended a day out at a theme park for a birthday party) then I would spend a bit more on that present (if I could afford to) to offset the cost that family had paid for my child. That’s just my opinion, you do you

@DorotheaHomeAlone as I said in my previous comment, it’s my personal opinion so you do you.

Out of interest, if you attended the whole wedding (sit down meal, ceremony etc) then would you pay the same as if you just went to the evening part?

Trying to match the gift to the party just feels like knowing the cost of everything and value of nothing to me.

Why is a cheaper gift a worse gift?

Maybe I didn’t explain myself properly, I meant the cost per head of my child attending, not the cost of the party overall. For example if DS went with 3 friends to something that cost about £60 a head, I would pay a bit more for a present compared to a party where they invited 30 kids to a party in a hired hall. Both of the parties are roughly the same value, but the cost per head of my child is more in the first party.

It's fine.
Even for kids, the best gifts can come in some packages. For example those 5 packs of Hot Wheels are small but generally very appreciated by recipents.

Your gift sounds fine. The last children's party I went to we gave a sticker book (after I asked my friend what her son was into).

Maybe I've misunderstood PP but matching the gift to the value of the party sounds like an awful idea. Effectively the richer the parent, the better (or more expensive) the gift for the child? Not a great lesson to teach our children.

My nephew got two magic painting books and a small pack of jelly tots from me for his second birthday. He was delighted and his parents were relieved not to have more enormous plastic stuff filling their house.

So I say go ahead.

@ALS94 I would base my gift on how close I was to the couple and try to get something they’d like. Not on any detail if the wedding. It’s not a transaction. It’s a gift. It’s meant to convey friendship and caring to the couple or the child not cover the cost of your attendance.

I’ve got four kids just coming out of the big party age group. We’ve held kids of parties and been to literally a billion over the years and none of them has ever either given or received a £20 present.

Those water colouring books are lovely OP and don’t take up too much room. I’d cry if one of my kids had a party and everyone gave them a big gift. Where the hell would I put it all?!

I don't remember any kids' presents from over 13 years of parties so never worry about being thought of as cheap! Most kids get far too much tat so anything is good!

We used to aim for between £5 and £10, preferably the lower end. Then three separate children invited to dd's party gave her cards each with £20 cash. We've upped our present buying as a result and feel guilty for previous years. It's a minefield!