To ask for the definition of a fussy eater?

[chronictonic]

What's your definition of a "fussy" eater?

Always been interested in this as my 10 yr old could be labelled, and is labelled, a "fussy" eater.
But after 10 years of parenting, I've come to the conclusion that every child I've know is one (or could be labelled one) in some shape or form.

My child hates pizza, lasagne, spag bol and lots of other things that most children love.
But she will gladly polish off a huge plate of steamed vegetables and a steak/fish etc. And is quite adventurous in some ways (loves all smoked fish etc) but she would only eat pasta plain for example and would be alarmed by a speck of pepper! But give her a still moo-ing steak and she's in heaven.

Her best friend on the other hand enthusiatically eats lots of the usual kid's favourites: pizza, pasta, chips, a roast, without fuss, and with great gusto.
But she'll always leave the green beans & broccoli etc. And look truly disgusted by them 😂 The other day she was appalled by the idea of having rice... but her mother describes her as unfussy.

Would it be fair to call either of them a "fussy" eater? Or both of them?

What makes a child NOT a "fussy" eater?
If it means they eat EVERYTHING I am yet to meet one!

Even the most adventurous and 'foodie' child I know refuses simple green veg. Will gladly polish off a seafood curry, risotto, dumplings, sushi, ramen, pies, falafel etc. though! (Not all at once!)

So are all kids basically "fussy" eaters these days or shall we just abandon the term and just call them Kids?

Side note:
I do know some children with very limited & therefore problematic diets due to sensory food aversion & I don't think it's fair to label them "fussy" as it's so much more complex than that.

I’d swap your child’s fussy eating for mine 😂 I agree that a lot of children (as with adults) will have likes and dislikes but some are more problematic than others. DS decided he want going to eat any fruit or veg age 4 despite liking fruit and some veg previously. 8 years later he hasn’t changed his mind and is now phobic about fruit and veg and won’t have any. We blend veg into things so he doesn’t notice and max out the things he will have - passatta/orange juice/smoothies/baked beans but his diet is still not great. DD has some dislikes - mushrooms/ sweet potato/ butternut squash etc but eats fairly normally otherwise so I definitely wouldn’t call her fussy. I think it’s more common in children to be fussy - most adults seem to eat a wider range of food.

One DSC was fussy and wouldn’t eat different ketchup, only wanted plain grilled meat and rice everywhere (even if not on the menu), would not try anything different, ever, and couldn’t be the slightest bit flexible when eating out. So we didn’t. If we went to family for dinner, they’d have to cook a special meal
for her.

’Fussy eater’ to me is when it’s so limiting that it affects other people and where they can go/eat.

Funnily enough peer pressure seemed to cure all her fussy eating issues when she went to high school.

I hate the term fussy eater as there is almost always some sort of underlying issue causing the "fussiness" that could be short term (e.g., reluctant to eat a wide variety after being ill) or long term (e.g., sensory issues, ARFID, child with allergies afraid to expand diet, etc). Plus children are like adults, they have preferences over what they do and don't like and some of them are forceful in expressing those preferences.

I think often “fussy” is linked to not having the same tastes as parents more than anything else. What you have described is them having personal preference not being fussy.

I agree with iam4eels. Ds has arfid so has a very very limited diet orally. He isn’t fussy he physically can’t bring himself to eat the wrong things

One of my daughters was very fussy as a toddler and isn’t much better now as a 9 year old.

Something interesting I noticed is that as the foods she’d eat were so limited I’d describe what she ate to others by stating the things that she DID eat. So naming maybe 8-10 items of food altogether.

Parents of less fussy children would instead focus on what their child DIDN’T eat. So they’d say things like ‘oh yes my child is so fussy, she won’t eat x, y and x’ and I’d be thinking to myself ‘that’s really not fussy at all!’

I can't abide fussy eating and have always encouraged a wide variety of foods from weaning onwards. In my book, a fussy eater is someone who has likes and dislikes around foods and it would drive me mad if I had kids who picked at food. Off the top of my head there's not a food I actively dislike.

My DD has always eaten everything I put in front of her, except blue cheese, kimchi and sauerkraut. I think I went wrong because she didn't try these foods until she was about 10 and by that time they were too much of an acquired taste. She still tries them periodically (she's 16 now), but still doesn't like them.

DS is slightly more fussy in that he says he doesn't like mushrooms and courgettes. However, i just cut them up so small that he can't be bothered to pick them out so ends up eating them anyway. If I leave them in bigger chunks, he picks them out.

Why do you feel the need to label them as 'fussy' or 'not fussy'?

They just have different preferences.

I was always labelled as a fussy eater as a child and adult but yes it does just seem to be a different taste thing. Our in laws are foodies (one is a chef), and used to make comments that ‘I probably wouldn’t like x’, but then we’d be in a restaurant and they’d say they don’t eat eg mince when they’re out, and ask not to have onions or something else on so I came to the conclusion that people who call someone a fussy eater just have different tastes (mostly!) Ds1 is ‘fussy’ with dinners but will eat all fruits, any sandwiches, wraps etc and probably gets as much nutrition as the others who have different things they won’t go with. All I would say is I remember too much talk about it as a child, and no amount of nagging etc ever helped me so do bear in mind that kids deserve to feel happy at mealtimes (I always get the ‘one week in my house and he wouldn’t be fussy’ with ds and it’s so horrible)

This is a useful distinction. Children can best be considered fussy if it's easier to list what they DO eat, and not fussy if it's easier to list what they DON'T eat.

All people have things they like or don't like to eat and drink. Children are naturally a bit more fussy than adults, but are only labelled fussy if their choices are very different than the adults around them. In a home that eats a limited selection of foods, kids will seem less fussy.

My mum thought 4yo DS was a bit fussy the other day when he sampled and then said he didn't want any more rocket, even though he was eating other salad. I don't consider him fussy, because at least he tried it and he eats other types of leaves.

"Fussy eater" means they refuse to eat things that are necessary to maintain their health but are willing to eat other things that are less suitable due to nutritional value, availability or cost.

I wish the term 'fussy' would disappear. People (children and adults) will always have preferences and dislikes, that should be normalized along with being open minded to try, and possibly like, new things.

It's really normal to have likes and dislikes, which I think sometimes parents can forget (I include myself in that!).

For me, 'fussy' comes in when it's things like, one thing can't be touching another thing, something has to be a certain shape or size, or they loved something one day and then refuse to even contemplate it the next.

I don't think fussy should necessarily be a negative label though. Okay, they're a fussy eater, so what? They'll normally grow out of it (sensory issues etc aside). As long as they're eating all the food groups and they're healthy, let them crack on.

My daughter was a fantastic eater from birth to approx 3 years old - she ate literally anything we gave her with great enthusiasm. Then, she started nursery and the food they got was … not great (which was compounded by the fact she was allergic to dairy and the substitutions were crap) - eg she had lots of processed “kid food”
Then lockdown struck and she used food as a kind of coping mechanism - her diet became more and more limited, but she was still eating “healthy food” - so every day she’d have porridge with mixed berries and nuts for breakfast, every lunch she’d have a ham sandwich, four cherry tomatoes, cucumber, an apple, and a biscuit. Then, she started wanting the same at dinner.
Soon, all she ate were those foods above - she’s refuse anything else.

Over the last 6 months or so we have finally started to get her to eat more. She will now eat most of what we eat, but still has preferences.

I don’t think “fussiness” is linked to how many foods they actually like - when my daughter was “fussy” she wouldn’t even taste foods. Now, there is still loads that she doesn’t like, but she can eat foods that she doesn’t like - for example she doesn’t like peppers, but if I ask her to eat some she can.
She’s also fine with eating veggies blended into things like sauces, we don’t need to hide them from her - she doesn’t like courgette but would eat food with courgette in it.

I would class a fussy eater as someone who wouldn't eat anything, or only one thing out of a selection of foods.

A friend of ours has an incredibly fussy eater - she eats pot noodle, chips and plain wraps. That is about it. No fruit. No veg. This is entirely of the parents making though because that is what they feed her and therefore this is what she is used to.

To me, a fussy eater is someone who will only eat say 2 or 3 things off a restaurant menu.

I don’t like rice or spicy food. Because I won’t touch Chinese, Indian, Asian food etc I’m labelled a fussy eater.

To me a fussy eater is someone who just eats chips.

I'd consider both children in your OP 'fussy' but I know which one I'd rather have!

I reckon It's much more likely your child will learn to like / tolerate lasagne than the other child will broccoli.

However, I think both are fine. As PPs have said they're allowed likes and dislikes. As long as my kids try a mouthful or two of everything then I'm OK with that. (Other than peas for DS1 - he almost vomited every time he had peas so he gets to skip those!) It's the kids that flat out refuse everything but plain pasta that get me.

I don't know, but I have two children - one who doesn't like pasta and one who doesn't like potatoes except chips and roast potatoes, neither of them really eat meat, except chorizo (?) and both are a bit fussy with veg, but will eat some, eldest is better with veg. It's so annoying trying to plan meals!

I'm on holiday ATM with family and I don't think I'll ever call any of my children fussy about food ever again after watching DN. I'd honestly despair at feeding him as he won't eat anything unless it's plain and beige. No veg, only oranges for fruit, limits carbs (which is a disaster and I suspect a power play as he is T1D so limits carbs as soon as he's been given his insulin to freak his mum out and to get sweets) and then will happily eat as much sugar as he can get away with. I couldn't handle the stress of it- not the diabetes, the food!

My kids tend to eat at least 50% of what's put in front of them but they all like/dislike different things which is probably why I think of them as fussy. Eldest won't eat rice while youngest two will but I refuse to cook two meals so I end up catering for what they'll all eat the majority of which is mainly pasta based and deathly boring.

Fussy eater’ to me is when it’s so limiting that it affects other people and where they can go/eat.

I agree with this. It's when it makes feeding them difficult, rather than just avoiding a few things here and there.

None of my kids are fussy eaters. All love trying new foods, enjoy sushi, all types of seafood, vegetables, curries etc. Foods that most would consider exotic foods. One will eat “junk” food but wouldn’t choose it, the other likes both foods equally. i don’t say this to brag. I think it’s half luck if your kids are fussy or not. I am fussy and won’t touch seafood 😂 so it’s not because they’ve inherited a refined palate from me.

I think I'm a fussy eater.
I eat a wide range of foods and can find something on most menus to eat but for example whereas my husband can go anywhere and order or be offered a ham sandwich and eat it even if he didn't necessarily enjoy it.
I would have to see the ham, the type of bread and the butter before I ate it.
If the ham was formed, wet, too thick or too fatty I couldn't eat it. If the bread was too soft, soggy, too cold or 'plastic' sliced bread I couldn't eat it, when I say I couldn't I mean I physically couldn't swallow it, I'd probably gag or vomit.

if you can find something to eat in most restaurants or cafes, or can eat at least something off your plate at a meal in someone’s house, I’d say you are only moderately fussy. If you can’t, and you regularly find yourself in situations where you can’t/won’t eat what’s on offer, that’s definitely fussy. I think fussiness is very common in children - almost not worth stressing about it, as most fussy kids grow into fairly normal adult eaters.

I’m a fairly fussy adult, in that there are some things I cannot eat because they will make me physically sick. No allergy or anything, they just make me gag and retch. Most red meat and any innard type things, most pork, definitely lamb or anything remotely goaty or sheepy (e.g. goats cheese), creamy or cheesy sauces (bechanel is out), mushrooms, ‘filler’ things in soups and stews like Pearl barley. Urgh.

But I eat all other veg, fruit, grains, carbs, eggs, chicken and fish, cows milk cheeses…and will try any cuisine - sushi, hot and spicy food etc. So I survive without causing too much bother or offence wherever I go.

I'd say a fussy eater is someone who has a lot of food dislikes. I think that overly pandering to this in children (e.g. by not persisting in regularly offering new or previously rejected foods, or by constantly giving alternatives) is almost as bad as being excessively rigid and unsympathetic about it.

I also think that medicalising food dislikes by calling, for example, a dislike of certain textures of food 'a sensory issue' in a NT child with no non-food-based sensory issues is unhelpful. My dc were both fussy eaters (as was I, but only aged about 3-5). With dd it was definitely ofen a texture thing. Both teens now, both grown out of it.

What a horrible attitude. Of course people have likes and dislikes!

I don't eat fish, chicken thighs, or anything with a bone in it. I eat pretty much anything else.