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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How angry should i be?

72 replies

Cherry85 · 16/02/2023 13:13

Our 3 yr old has just got hold of a paracetamol (possibly a caffeine, paracetamol and phenylephrine) tablet and put it in his mouth - luckily I was there and fished it out.

This may seem like a small issue - but DH regularly takes pills out the foil, forgets to take them and leaves them 'somewhere safe' like in the coffee table drawer or on a shelf he thinks is out of reach. I have regularly told him this has to stop but he is so casual about it.

I am absolutely fuming - if I had had to take our child to hospital I wouldn't even be able to say confidently what sort of pill it was as there was no box nearby. I don't even know what the consequences would have been at the hospital for this.

What would your reaction be? Would I be unreasonable to tell him if it happens again he is going to stay at his parents? I am so scared of what could have happened (although I may he overreacting as also don't actually know what the consequences would be so thinking the worst.)

Since this happened an hour ago I have found another one lying beside our wardrobe on the floor.

OP posts:
Babyshadows · 16/02/2023 13:17

Yep I'm pretty chill but the carelessness of this would have be absolutely raging! You just can't do things like that with young children around.

Seainasive · 16/02/2023 13:18

Very angry!

REP22 · 16/02/2023 13:23

Oh no, how awful for you. I would be absolutely livid. I'd probably say the same sort of thing that you have suggested. This could have had very serious consequences - even if not fatal it could have caused serious organ damage.

I used to work at an emergency vets and we would have pets rushed in who had eaten pills left lying around. The ones we were able to save were still left very unwell. It used to amaze and infuriate me that this was allowed to happen to a dog or cat, but especially when the owners came along with young children in tow. (We once had a dog with a fish-hook through its tongue - the man laughed as he told us that he always left his fishing hooks and baits lying around. He had a toddler with him, who was bare-footed. Appalling.).

You would certainly not be unreasonable to tell him what you have said. This can't be allowed to happen again.

I'm so sorry. Best wishes to you. x

Soubriquet · 16/02/2023 13:24

I would be absolutely hopping mad

How hard would it be to take the tablet you’ve bothered to take out of the packet?!

soggydigestives · 16/02/2023 13:25

Yeah I'd be absolutely fuming. It's actually neglectful and could have been very serious if you'd not stepped in on time.

MyCatIsAnnoyinglyCute · 16/02/2023 13:25

Would he want the hospitals or social services reaction if your child ended up in hospital? I doubt it. I’d be furious at his lack of care.

ThreeblackCats · 16/02/2023 13:25

Your “D” H regularly leaves drugs that could kill his child just casually laying around and about on coffee tables?
Deal breaker for me, I would honestly be starting divorce proceedings.

Nimbostratus100 · 16/02/2023 13:26

I would be divorce lawyer angry

JMSA · 16/02/2023 13:27

I don't understand. Why would he pop the pill out the foil and then not take it? Confused
Anyway, I'm pretty relaxed but this was super careless of him. And I'd be angry too.

Dominoeffecter · 16/02/2023 13:28

Incandescent

Follycastle · 16/02/2023 13:29

How many pills is he popping that this is even an issue? What bizarre behaviour.

I’d be livid OP.

BannMan · 16/02/2023 13:32

What medical condition does your DH have that he forgets to put a pill in his mouth as he pops it out of the foil?
I work with people with memory impairment and that's a very very short timeframe to forget something!

autumnboys · 16/02/2023 13:33

i would be very, very angry about this.

Livinginanotherworld · 16/02/2023 13:35

Yep, I’d be raging about this, there really is no excuse. Massive safeguarding issue.

AnneLovesGilbert · 16/02/2023 13:37

I’d be furious. It’s incredibly irresponsible, what’s his fucking problem?!

ShakespearesBlister · 16/02/2023 13:42

Unsure as to quite how angry I'd be but his head would certainly be getting a wobble from me.

heldinadream · 16/02/2023 13:54

I actually don't understand why he doesn't take it seriously. Does he not care about his child?
I think you've got to give him the most massive shock - change behaviour now or look at divorce - and if he does it again you know he basically has something a bit missing, and you can't live with that. It's really disturbing OP. Hope you're ok.

Maray1967 · 16/02/2023 13:56

Mine would have got the mother of all screaming fits from me down the phone whether he was in a meeting or not. He could have been responsible for making your child very ill. I’d go round the house now and gather the pills and hide them, I’d make him ask for them and have to be supervised taking them. Or just kick him out and tell his parents what he’s done.

TheOtherBoleynGirls · 16/02/2023 13:59

Massive, massive issue. There’s being laidback, and then there’s being horrifically irresponsible, and this is clearly the latter.

Mumsanetta · 16/02/2023 14:00

Incandescent. My reaction would be “If you ever put my son in danger again I will divorce you and make sure you never have unsupervised contact with my son again”. Because I would genuinely mean it, I would also call 111 and explain what happened so that there’s a record of it in case you ever need it.

Dacadactyl · 16/02/2023 14:00

Well I wouldn't be going ballistic like some others of these posters would be. I don't think that'd solve anything.

I'd just tell him calmly that it is totally unacceptable and not on. Maybe you could keep all the tablets in a place that only you know about and he has to ask you for them if he wants one. I suspect he doesn't really need them if he's leaving them lying around.

Mumsanetta · 16/02/2023 14:04

Dacadactyl · 16/02/2023 14:00

Well I wouldn't be going ballistic like some others of these posters would be. I don't think that'd solve anything.

I'd just tell him calmly that it is totally unacceptable and not on. Maybe you could keep all the tablets in a place that only you know about and he has to ask you for them if he wants one. I suspect he doesn't really need them if he's leaving them lying around.

“I have regularly told him this has to stop but he is so casual about it.”

I would usually agree with you but a calm conversation doesn’t seem to have done the trick yet. He’s a grown man and shouldn’t need the same sort of supervision as a toddler. He can also just buy more presumably.

Emmamoo89 · 16/02/2023 14:05

I'd be fuming!

junglejane66 · 16/02/2023 14:06

4/10

ItchyBillco · 16/02/2023 14:06

This has happened multiple times??? What the actual fuck is wrong with him? You should be raging. That could have been catastrophic.

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