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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How angry should i be?

72 replies

Cherry85 · 16/02/2023 13:13

Our 3 yr old has just got hold of a paracetamol (possibly a caffeine, paracetamol and phenylephrine) tablet and put it in his mouth - luckily I was there and fished it out.

This may seem like a small issue - but DH regularly takes pills out the foil, forgets to take them and leaves them 'somewhere safe' like in the coffee table drawer or on a shelf he thinks is out of reach. I have regularly told him this has to stop but he is so casual about it.

I am absolutely fuming - if I had had to take our child to hospital I wouldn't even be able to say confidently what sort of pill it was as there was no box nearby. I don't even know what the consequences would have been at the hospital for this.

What would your reaction be? Would I be unreasonable to tell him if it happens again he is going to stay at his parents? I am so scared of what could have happened (although I may he overreacting as also don't actually know what the consequences would be so thinking the worst.)

Since this happened an hour ago I have found another one lying beside our wardrobe on the floor.

OP posts:
Choconut · 16/02/2023 14:07

Why would you even take the tablet out the packet unless you were going to take it right that second. There's just no need. Tell him to check the whole house for pills he hasn't taken and that if you find any more left around he's going to his mums. Tell him not to take them out the packet unless he is jsut about to take them. This is not ok.

PlaitBilledDuckyPuss · 16/02/2023 14:11

why would you even take the tablet out the packet unless you were going to take it right that second

This. It's bizarre behaviour.

Undermyumberellaellaella · 16/02/2023 14:16

I don't understand why you get tablets out a packet and not take them? Surely you would only do this if you actually needed to take them?

Yes, I'd be fuming. And even more so that he doesn't seem to care about it that much.

WeWereInParis · 16/02/2023 14:19

I don't even understand this - who takes a pill out of its packet and then forgets to take it even once, let alone regularly??

I'd be furious. This is such an avoidable problem. How many pills is he taking that this is an issue?

SleeplessInEngland · 16/02/2023 14:21

Another one here who doesn't understand why he pops the pills out and doesn't take them.

RunningFromInsanity · 16/02/2023 14:24

I’d gather up all medications and put them in a specific drawer. The rule is that no medications leaves that room.

If that doesn’t work then the medication is kept locked away and he has to be supervised when taking them, like a child.

MissWings · 16/02/2023 14:25

I would lose the plot I can’t cope with such mindless stupidity.

RudsyFarmer · 16/02/2023 14:26

I’m going to go with ‘fucking apocalyptic’ is how I’d be.

amonsteronthehill · 16/02/2023 14:40

Deal breaker.

He could actually kill your child.

Ask him to go.

Couchpotato3 · 16/02/2023 14:44

All tablets in a locked box for which only you have the key from now on. He asks you when he needs a tablet and takes it supervised by you. Non-negotiable until he proves that he can be a responsible adult/parent. No point screaming at him. Treat him like the irresponsible child that he is.

Dishwashersaurous · 16/02/2023 14:44

He could have just killed his child through a purposeful action.

It's an absolute no brainer that all medicine must be out of reach of children at all times.

I would collect all medicine in the house and put in a locked box. Then say to him that if any is ever out of the locked box he will have to leave the house as you can't trust him

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/02/2023 14:51

"This may seem like a small issue - but DH regularly takes pills out the foil, forgets to take them and leaves them 'somewhere safe' like in the coffee table drawer or on a shelf he thinks is out of reach. I have regularly told him this has to stop but he is so casual about it."
This is NOT a small issue. Is that what he calls it when you raise it? It's not small, it's huge. And he's an arsehole. An absolute fucking arsehole.

How can you 'forget' to take a pill you've just removed from the blister pack? I mean - how? The 'somewhere safe' would be back into the blister, back into the box, and back into the medicine cabinet. Or flushed.

How angry would I be? Towering Inferno. Riot Act. Audible to the whole town. There is no limit to how angry I would be that he would put our child in such danger through his own fecklessness.

"Would I be unreasonable to tell him if it happens again he is going to stay at his parents?"
Fuck that, tell him to go there now. Why wait for him to do it again? You "have regularly told him this has to stop" but he just keeps doing it. Don't wait for the next time, because next time you might not be in time to fish it out. Sad

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/02/2023 14:55

And yes, all medicines in the house removed into a locked box, the boot of your car, somewhere he has no access to. NEVER AGAIN.

Nocutenamesleft · 16/02/2023 14:57

Paracetamol is an incredibly dangerous tablet. People don't understand the dangers. 1 is that it's a hepatic drug. 2. Doesn't take much to overdose on it all. Those who go out drinking and come home and take two before sleep are really playing with death...

I feel it should be considered a controlled medication personally.

Throckmorton · 16/02/2023 15:11

How do you know this is the only tablet your child found? Is there are a chance they have already swallowed ones you weren't aware of? If so, you need to seek urgent medical advice

Nocutenamesleft · 16/02/2023 15:18

Throckmorton · 16/02/2023 15:11

How do you know this is the only tablet your child found? Is there are a chance they have already swallowed ones you weren't aware of? If so, you need to seek urgent medical advice

This! 1000000%

Jules912 · 16/02/2023 15:24

My DH is a lot more chill than me, but wouldn't leave anything that could cause serious and/or permanent harm around. Certainly not more than once, though has occasionally been guilty of not realising how quickly the kids grew to be able to reach sides etc.
This is something I would actually expect social services to follow up if you seek medical treatment, although realise they may be so overworked that doesn't happen.

SnarkyBag · 16/02/2023 15:34

Are people seriously suggesting that the answer is the OP has create a lock box and hold responsibility for handing out medication to a grown man who’s happy to put his child’s life at risk? Sheesh how to handle a man child? Infantilise him further. Fuck that I’d rather be a single parent!

Raspberryjamsandwich · 16/02/2023 15:54

Paracetamol is very dangerous and can damage internal organs if you take too much.

purplecorkheart · 16/02/2023 15:57

Is he actually there at the moment or does he know what happened. I would actually ring him and tell him that your child has swallowed some tablets and 999 need to know what he has taken and how much.

another1bitestheduck · 16/02/2023 16:00

Just adding to the list of people not understanding how you get to the stage of deciding you need a pill, finding them, getting them out of the foil but then don't complete the process of taking them immediately and just leaves them in a 'safe place'? It's REALLY WEIRD!
And even more frustrating for you because it's a problem that shouldn't be a problem.
You know what's a 'safe place' to put a pill you've decided you need to take? IN YOUR MOUTH!

MySugarBabyLove · 16/02/2023 16:05

purplecorkheart · 16/02/2023 15:57

Is he actually there at the moment or does he know what happened. I would actually ring him and tell him that your child has swallowed some tablets and 999 need to know what he has taken and how much.

Yes do this.

And then I would tell him not to bother coming home.

Unless he is memory impaired there is 0 excuse for doing this. None.

I take a lot of different drugs and I have one of those boxes from ikea with the little drawers in where I keep my drugs. Nobody touches them but me.

There have been occasions when I have dropped one while taking it out of the packet, and when that happens the dogs are immediately banned from the kitchen until I’ve found it.

And the fuck would I supervise his taking drugs, he’s not a child. So if he wants to act like one and be treated like one then he could do so elsewhere.

WonderingWanda · 16/02/2023 16:07

I would be livid too op. I would suggest ordering one of those lockable boxes from Amazon (Can use a number). Presenting it to your dh and telling him that if you ever see a tablet outside of this box then you will be done with him.

anomaly23 · 16/02/2023 16:08

I would have red mist rage about this and he would be kicked out.

Swannning · 16/02/2023 16:10

I would be fucking livid and DH would be soon to be XH...that is life threateningly dangerous