Page 17 | 'Nicola Bulley's reputation 'destroyed' by police'

MyrtIe · 2023-02-16T10:37:21+00:00

[[https://news.sky.com/story/nicola-bulley-ex-detective-says-police-have-destroyed-missing-mums-reputation-by-revealing-alcohol-struggles-12812221 Article here]] The points made about victim blaming and the police disclosing this information to cover themselves are spot on imo. The usual gutter press are having a field day with this today. What exactly was the point of it? What's it achieved, apart from compounding the heartache of her loved ones? YABU - the police were right to divulge this sensitive information as it was relevant to the investigation YANBU - there was absolutely no need to do so

AnnoyedwithGossips · 16/02/2023 13:36

Port1aCastis · 16/02/2023 13:34

Well if the crazy batshit online vultures hadn't started disgusting speculation about a woman who is missing the police would not have felt compelled to release personal details about the poor woman.
Shame on the crazies who feed of someone else's tragedy shame on them.

Totally.

urrrgh46 · 16/02/2023 13:37

The information is totally relevant to the investigation. Personally, I think is would have been appropriate for the police to have said from the out set that she was "under considerable stress and in a vulnerable state of mind". That would have said enough but not given quite personal details.

ThomasinaLivesHere · 16/02/2023 13:38

I do think it’s hard for the police. Even in this thread there are many posts saying what the police should have done and quite often things being suggested would have made things worse or they’ve already done them.

I’m torn on the release of alcohol and menopause issues. I see how they were under pressure to give more. I also think if they would have released info about other medical conditions shouldn’t they treat women only issues the same.

I think the people turning up to the site filming social media videos etc are just devoid of sympathy. I wish people would stop speculating.

MarshaBradyo · 16/02/2023 13:38

A few cases get the kind of attention this one has. Part of communications for police will have to include how to deal with it well. And not feel ‘compelled’ to react.

I don’t really have a view on what they’ve released overall as not enough info - but SM talking about a case isn’t a reason to release stuff to appease.

Communication should just work for the case and won’t be, or shouldn’t be, because online chat is happening.

Port1aCastis · 16/02/2023 13:38

Walkaround · 16/02/2023 13:36

The problem with this case is the excessive number of complete strangers who have nothing to do with it getting totally over-invested in it and being ghoulish. You should follow your own advice and stop going on and on and on about it and drawing your own unhelpful conclusions from everything that is said or done - you are doing fuck all to help by behaving like this.

Agreed, the ghouls and vultures have been in a feeding frenzy over a missing woman who has 2 young children
Grim extremely grim

drpet49 · 16/02/2023 13:39

GetUps · 16/02/2023 12:59

If there's anything odd about this case it's the way it's had such a huge profile.

Adults go missing all the time. There's been a concerted push to keep ths in the press, which has mostly come from family and friends.

Knowing her vulnerabilities it is strange they have been so certain she can't be in the water. You wouldn't want to think about it, but it must surely be a circumstance that crosses your mind in such a situation.

This.

WiIson · 16/02/2023 13:39

It's only relevant to provide more hypersalivation material to the rubber necking armchair detectives. So not relevant at all.

BigMandsTattooPortfolio · 16/02/2023 13:40

AnnoyedwithGossips · 16/02/2023 13:34

MN have enabled an individual and her 'followers' who 'thank her' for keeping them up to date so they can solve the crime are unbelievable. Nice to see more and more of us speaking out against the band of armchair detectives/batshits/delusional.... shut up and let the police investigate and not have the distraction of social media twats who cannot help themselves whilst they believe they are doing good!

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I agree with Annoyedwithgossips. Her poor family, all the intrusive speculations must be adding to their pain.

BlackFriday · 16/02/2023 13:40

I was wondering if they mentioned the menopause issues in a vain attempt to excuse what many might be judge-y about re: the alcohol part? You know, as in she wasn't one of "those" alcoholics. (not defending that view, just to be clear)
I didn't know there was a particular connection between menopause and drinking, for instance, and I'm going through it now.
But I agree with the OP. This should NOT have got out into the public domain.

Thatsplentyjack · 16/02/2023 13:40

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 16/02/2023 12:28

That’s not wha I said.

I said their motivation wouldn’t be to ‘get there first’ ahead of the tabloids.

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Where did I say that? I said they had been forced to realise the information because of all the idiots bombarding then with false allegations, and made up theories. They as good as said that in an interview.

WiIson · 16/02/2023 13:42

I’m torn on the release of alcohol and menopause issues.

Ask yourself this. Would you be happy for your friends, family, neighbours and work colleagues to know sensitive and potentially humiliating medical information about you. And would you be happy for someone else to make that decision to tell them all, on your behalf.

Togoodtobeforgotten · 16/02/2023 13:43

BigMandsTattooPortfolio · 16/02/2023 13:40

I agree with Annoyedwithgossips. Her poor family, all the intrusive speculations must be adding to their pain.

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Along with all the people turning up to take selfies on the bench! There are a lot of sick people around.

Port1aCastis · 16/02/2023 13:43

I wonder how these online crazies would like a member of their family to disappear and subsequently have all the internet nutjobs feeding from their pain

Walkaround · 16/02/2023 13:44

And, imvho, I think some of the ghouls are only upset to be told she was a menopausal alcoholic because it spoils the fantasy she was an abnormally well-adjusted model of perfection who was possibly abducted by aliens, or grabbed by a pantomime villain who has her chained up in a basement.

Ohchristmastreeohchristmastree · 16/02/2023 13:45

urrrgh46 · 16/02/2023 13:37

The information is totally relevant to the investigation. Personally, I think is would have been appropriate for the police to have said from the out set that she was "under considerable stress and in a vulnerable state of mind". That would have said enough but not given quite personal details.

This is why people are saying it was unreasonable for the police to divulge the information as they did divulged the specifics.

WiIson · 16/02/2023 13:45

Port1aCastis · 16/02/2023 13:43

I wonder how these online crazies would like a member of their family to disappear and subsequently have all the internet nutjobs feeding from their pain

Yes. It's astonishing. It's almost as though people are incapable of at least imagining what that might be like, or they just do not give a shit about other people.

Togoodtobeforgotten · 16/02/2023 13:46

WiIson · 16/02/2023 13:42

I’m torn on the release of alcohol and menopause issues.

Ask yourself this. Would you be happy for your friends, family, neighbours and work colleagues to know sensitive and potentially humiliating medical information about you. And would you be happy for someone else to make that decision to tell them all, on your behalf.

Nobody would however the family gave permission for it. People harassing counsellers, people turning up at the village taking selfies, people breaking into houses, it's bad that the village had to get security so what else were the police to do? They tried their best to keep it from the public but the public thought they knew better than the police and sadly that's what's caused all this.

Original poster

MyrtIe · 16/02/2023 13:46

AnnoyedwithGossips · 16/02/2023 13:34

MN have enabled an individual and her 'followers' who 'thank her' for keeping them up to date so they can solve the crime are unbelievable. Nice to see more and more of us speaking out against the band of armchair detectives/batshits/delusional.... shut up and let the police investigate and not have the distraction of social media twats who cannot help themselves whilst they believe they are doing good!

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Dear god.

I haven't seen these threads and I've no wish to, hopefully they've been deleted.

I don't see how giving people like this more to gossip about is ever a good idea, however. I agree to a point that the police were damned if they did and damned if they didn't - but that being the case, wouldn't it have been better for all involved to have been damned for not divulging highly personal medical information? Especially as it was absolutely irrelevant to all except the police themselves?

OP posts:

Rollingaroundinmud · 16/02/2023 13:47

This is classic alcohol and menopause:

On Wednesday, Lancashire Police said the 45-year-old had suffered with "some significant issues with alcohol" and "ongoing struggles with the menopause".

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-64661487

Sexism is rife in this country.

Original poster

MyrtIe · 16/02/2023 13:47

Togoodtobeforgotten · 16/02/2023 13:46

Nobody would however the family gave permission for it. People harassing counsellers, people turning up at the village taking selfies, people breaking into houses, it's bad that the village had to get security so what else were the police to do? They tried their best to keep it from the public but the public thought they knew better than the police and sadly that's what's caused all this.

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The BBC report I linked to said the family were told this information was going to be made public. Not asked.

OP posts:

Threeboysandadog · 16/02/2023 13:49

urrrgh46 · 16/02/2023 13:37

The information is totally relevant to the investigation. Personally, I think is would have been appropriate for the police to have said from the out set that she was "under considerable stress and in a vulnerable state of mind". That would have said enough but not given quite personal details.

^This^

If she has left the area of her own accord (with help of a third party) and is now having second thoughts, this information being made public will make it more difficult for her to return.

Port1aCastis · 16/02/2023 13:50

Togoodtobeforgotten · 16/02/2023 13:43

Along with all the people turning up to take selfies on the bench! There are a lot of sick people around.

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Yes I agree, I think some people have too much time on their hands and should be nicked for trespass or anything else decent people wouldn't dream of doing.
It's not right to spend your days feeding from someone else's pain.
Fucking disgraceful and low!

Uncertain12345 · 16/02/2023 13:51

BlackFriday · 16/02/2023 13:40

I was wondering if they mentioned the menopause issues in a vain attempt to excuse what many might be judge-y about re: the alcohol part? You know, as in she wasn't one of "those" alcoholics. (not defending that view, just to be clear)
I didn't know there was a particular connection between menopause and drinking, for instance, and I'm going through it now.
But I agree with the OP. This should NOT have got out into the public domain.

Its just a car crash of circumstances. At this point, if they'd just said she was in a vulnerable state of mind, people would have continued to speculate if her partner was the cause. If they'd mentioned just the drink, they'd have continued to speculate if it was her partner being abusive that drove her to it. But yeah, its just a car crash. It should never have got to this point.

Steppedystep · 16/02/2023 13:54

BigMandsTattooPortfolio · 16/02/2023 13:40

I agree with Annoyedwithgossips. Her poor family, all the intrusive speculations must be adding to their pain.

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Agree
When the family talk about people online

Lindle · 16/02/2023 13:54

The Police don't usually have any qualms about releasing negative details about missing women and wouldn't hesitate to to inform the media that a missing women has drug or alcohol problems or is a sex worker.

The mystery is why did it take them so long in this case?