to still bedshare? Will anyone care?

[hekissedmybottom]

So services care if you bed share with your child? I'm sharing with my 7 year old and see no end point right now, it works for us. It's a huge bed and it's just us two, same sex.

Is this a "thing" that anyone cares about or is seen negatively by officialdom at all?

Just curious. Obviously don't care what laypeople think.

My son has his own bed but basically ends up in with us at least 60% of the time. He will grown out of it when he's ready. He's 4. I
My daughter hates sleeping anywhere but her cot or buggy. Total opposite.

Don't sweat it.

My DH is away a lot and when he is not here my daughter likes to sleep in my bed, she's 12! It's about one weekend a month

I think it is fine OP

Ss weren't impressed that DS was still in my bed at that age. I pointed out that he had his own bed that he started the night in and then he chose to move to mine.

The family worker we had after was fine with that. She said as long as he had his own space and it was his choice then he could sleep where ever we were happy.

My 9 and 7 year old were sleeping in their own rooms, then moved into ours during covid. They had airbeds/camp beds in our room or their iwn bed in their iwn room and it would fluctuate.

Now the 12 year old woildn't be seen dead in our room and the 9 year old is in our bed most nights. He's working through some trauma and needs the closeness. Some mights we say he has to be on the camp bed at the end of our bed as we haven't slept pr are ill. He's ok with that.

it's about choice, and them being able to choose to sleep on their own if they wish. Listening to ehat they heed is just good parenting.

i also process reports on child safety etc. "child has own space" is a common comment implying no concerns. I've never seen a negative comment about bed sharing.

You're lucky she doesn't fidget.
DD was, and still is at 22, such a fidget. I hated sharing with her because she could never keep still. I only ever shared with her if she was ill and I needed to keep a close eye on her.

Maybe you co slept with your mum because you had trouble falling asleep on your own and not the other way round?

That is definitely the case with my kids. No amount of sleep plans, controlled crying, gradual retreat, etc worked with them. We did what we had to so everyone got some sleep.

My 10 year old (girl) sleeps in with me (mum) and sometimes my 14 year old (girl) just us 3, we have a 3 bed. We all have out own rooms. 14 year old want her own space so we have the luxury of her company sometimes but my 10 year old will often sleep with me. It's just company for all of us I guess. Plus my room is the warmest room in the house and my 10 year old room is downstairs. We have a slightly upside down house. ( for furniture purposes it has to be like that) we are a close family it's no bother to me having my kids sleep in with me but they can sleep wherever they want. We often make up camp with old bedsheets in the front room too lol

I'm about to hop in with my 6 year old who now has a double bed in her room as she frequently asks me or her dad to sleep in with her. If she doesn't ask we don't , but when she does I'm happy to , and she goes to sleep happy that she won't be alone all night.

Mine is 9 and still comes in - as a young baby and child he had to sleep with someone - physically on them, he is partially deaf and likes the warmth and heart beat. Sometimes he doesn’t come in and that’s fine and then I find a dog on his bed

I slept with my dd till she was 10 (she has significant attachment issues). When people found out they were generally horrified, but I stuck to my instincts. Moving house provided a natural opportunity and she hasn't slept in my bed since. Last time we went on holiday she was very unimpressed at the idea of sharing with me!

It's not the norm, but bedsharing provided my dd with a sense of safety that she badly needed (she is adopted). I found there were far better places to build her confidence and independence, when she was awake.

I see absolutely no problem if you are thoughtful and attuned to your child's individual needs.

she was just speaking about her own intentions, not judging others.

Yes I didn't take from that that she was smug or superior, just that she herself wasn't planning on letting a man in

My daughters wouldn't want to sleep in with me in a million years! Well, maybe if they're ill. I snore and breathe too loudly apparently!

One of ours slept with us until 15yo. They were then over 6’ and to say the bed was cramped was an understatement. They had their own room, own bed and would fall asleep in own bed but then wake up and immediately come in. We stopped it and then they just did the rounds trying to get into siblings beds which obviously wasn’t the fix we were looking for, so we allowed it and at some point while they were 15yo they just stopped.

Is that smug? I'm another single mum who would not bring a new man into my child's home, but that's just my personal preference, not judging anyone else.

It had never even occurred to me, that such a personal choice could be seen as judgemental.

My daughter is 12 and has the most beautiful bedroom. Yet she is in mine more then not.

All the kids in my postnatal friendship group have coslept. All of the older ones (6+) have now had sleepovers. The 8/9yos have all except one done beavers/brownie/sports camps.

I suspect there was something else hindering your ability to fall asleep than reliance on your Mum. After all at a sleepover etc you’re not alone - you’re with your close friends. If you want to have night time cuddles with your toddler now just do!

Our eldest used to come in with us most nights until he was around 9. He just wanted the closeness and comfort. He's a highly independent nearly 18yo now with his head very much screwed on.

The younger two rarely did it past the age of 3 (we co-slept with all dc until 2ish). The youngest is 7 now and sometimes she'll prefer to stay in her own bed even when she's woken from a bad dream- Different personalities. No problem whatsoever in going with what your child wants/needs right now.

Agree 100%!

I shared a bed with my DM until I went to high school. Initially it was done for warmth in the winter, but then I stayed.

I take it you didn't advertise the fact? I can only imagine the level of bullying if this came out at my old school!

My cousin is a single Mum and they rent a 1 bed cottage, she only has 1 dd age 6. The one bedroom is really big and she has a single bed in it and a 4ft small double so dd has her own bed but more often than not goes to my cousins.
It's not ideal and she's in this 1 bed as struggled to find somewhere with poor credit after a relationship breakdown but this landlord accepted her and it's a lovely place just could do with the bedroom being split!