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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

... to wonder if people really have bucket lists?

37 replies

MindMyRead · 15/02/2023 20:19

Discussion with my DSis who recently turned 50. It seems she's created a list of things that she's not done or experienced, or places or events she's not tried and so on. I've heard the concept of course, but I don't know anyone who's formally done something like that?

YABU - I have a bucket list
YANBU - That's crazy! I've never had such a list

On a personal level there are many things/places/events I'd like to do. Of course I'd like my indie band to play at Glastonbury(but we're not good!), I'd like to shag Brad Pitt (I'd have to check with DH first), etc. ... but why write them on a list?

The list of things from DSis seems like things she should just go and do, or they're things that are very unlikely to happen.

OP posts:

LewisCapaldisCamelToe · 15/02/2023 20:20

I've always had bucket lists.

rothbury · 15/02/2023 20:22

My close group of friends have a joint bucket list. We chose loads of things and have started doing them and planning future ones.

It’s great fun!

2crossedout1 · 15/02/2023 20:23

I didn't know what I way to vote, as I don't have one myself but I have friends who do.

MissFlimpkin · 15/02/2023 20:23

Yep there are things I want to do someday. Money being no object I'd do them tomorrow then make another list.
Go to Thailand. Live in another country. Be wild free and off grid for an amount of time.etc
Also also an anti bucket list of things I will not to the best of my ability ever do. Caving for example, walk through my local city on my own at night. Bungee jump. You get the idea

recklessgran · 15/02/2023 20:24

We have a 5 year plan. Not an actual bucket list as such but things we'd like to do, places we'd like to go, holidays, house stuff, financial goals etc for the next 5 years. Works for us but it just keeps evolving.

TheChosenTwo · 15/02/2023 20:26

Not voting because although I don’t personally have one I don’t think it’s especially crazy if you do.

Doingtheboxerbeat · 15/02/2023 20:35

I think money and time are the biggest components here , same with certain hobbies .

ComtesseDeSpair · 15/02/2023 20:41

A bucket list is meant to be things which are genuinely potentially achievable with effort and focus, isn’t it? So (sorry!) your band playing at Glastonbury and sex with Brad Pitt aren’t really bucket list items.

I haven’t got one written down per se, but I can see why they might be useful for driving focus onto the things you’d really like to be able to say you’ve done / places you’ve been / goals you’ve achieved at the end of your life.

katepilar · 15/02/2023 20:42

I dont and have never heard of such thing.

Undermyumberellaellaella · 15/02/2023 20:44

rothbury · 15/02/2023 20:22

My close group of friends have a joint bucket list. We chose loads of things and have started doing them and planning future ones.

It’s great fun!

I like this idea!!

TigeToo · 15/02/2023 20:46

I did have one but I completed it. I need to make another one. But then I do like a good tick box list ✔️

XenoBitch · 15/02/2023 20:46

No Bucket list here. It would make me feel pressured, and awful if I failed to achieve any of it.
A friend of mine had terminal cancer and had a bucket list. Had to bin it as Covid and lockdowns happened. Did hardly any of the things he so wanted to do.

Whyisitsososohard · 15/02/2023 20:49

A bucket lots is generally a list of things you can make happen. Like swimming in a certain ocean, seeing a fave artist live, or eating at a special rest. Not fantasy stuff like you listed. People write it down as often writing goals down helps cement them and makes them more likely to happen. Have you never heard of this? It's a common factor of goal setting in self help or at work.

You seem quite surprised (and honestly judgmental) about people just doing things they enjoy. It's not something I personally have but I'm all for people enjoying their lives.

SleepingisanArt · 15/02/2023 20:59

I have a 'fuckit ' list in my head - it has all the places I don't ever want to go and things I don't want to do. Does that count?

HofstadtersLaw · 15/02/2023 21:01

I know the term, heard people using it in a jokey way, I think it was in a movie?

Conceptually it seems like a good idea to have a list of things you'd like to do/experience? To make it practical for me, as with any objectives, it there should be a time bound plan, otherwise it would be just my wishful thinking.

In my 50s, and having seen many extended family and friends pass away in recent years, it does make sense to make better use of the time I have. There are certainly things I enjoy today and can do now that I'd probably struggle with in 20 years (hiking, long distance travel, lots of sex)

Rtmhwales · 15/02/2023 21:02

I had a huge bucket list of countries I wanted to visit and adrenaline activities I wanted to do. I managed to check them all off before 30 so now I regularly come up with smaller scale things. It's good to have a goal. And if I die before I complete them I'm unlikely to know anyway

JimHensonWasAGenius · 15/02/2023 21:07

I most certainly do have a bucket list, in fact, I ticked off a long standing biggie 2 weeks ago.

Went to the Grand Canyon!

MargaretThursday · 15/02/2023 21:07

I don't, but my ds apparently has one. I only found out when he had appendicitis a couple of years ago. As I wheeled him down to the car when it was time to go home he proclaimed with great satisfaction that he could cross two things off his bucket list.

Being on a drip
Going in a wheelchair

I haven't dared ask him what else is on it after those two.🤣🤣

WandaWonder · 15/02/2023 21:11

Everything I can think of doing I have done, my main one is travel and food and I do it as much as possible

I have no desire to bungee jump or sky dive or climb Everest or scuba dive

Anything else I want to do I just do when I can

TakeUsHome · 15/02/2023 21:13

I don't have a formal list of things, but as I reached 50 I did deliberately try and do some things I was curious about but just never did. Many of them were very trivial basic things (getting a small tattoo, trying a sex toy), some took a lot more effort (running a 1/2 marathon, months of training), and some I just tried and failed to make much progress but still really enjoyed (Welsh languages classes to impress DH's family, I was awful!).

UsingChangeofName · 15/02/2023 21:24

Your voting option is a bit different from your original question though, so I don't know how to vote.

Personally I haven't got a bucket list, but to answer your original question, I know quite a few people who have done them.

I rather like the idea, but they have a list of things they want to do over the next year or whatever, they aren't things like you've mentioned in your OP.

The reason people write lists is because they are 'list people'. It is like a promise to themselves.
Makes sense to me.

TigeToo · 15/02/2023 21:25

MargaretThursday · 15/02/2023 21:07

Being on a drip
Going in a wheelchair

I haven't dared ask him what else is on it after those two.🤣🤣

😂😂

StealthToddler · 15/02/2023 21:26

I have stage 4 cancer and I refuse to write a "bucket list". I do however have things I'd like to do if I got a chance but treatment, surgery, recovery and and generally being unwell make it pretty much impossible.
To be honest I'd just like to be able to do normal things, everyday things, with my kids.
I have optimistically just booked tickets for Michael McIntyre's new show in October as a little carrot for me and hubby.
Would also love to take the kids to Rome as this year is 20 years since we got engaged there.
And we are hoping to have a week family holiday.
But I view it as a Living List. When you really are facing a tough diagnosis what you crave is normal everyday little things.

Iateallthewotsits · 15/02/2023 21:30

Pointless for me. I would never have the money to do the things I want to do.

MaverickGooseGoose · 15/02/2023 21:36

I do t have a written out list but there's a lot of things I still want to do

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