Pronouns... | Mumsnet

shoes4life · 2023-02-14T21:02:59+00:00

Ok - so I'm not getting into the ins and outs of needing to announce these (I don't agree). However, if you choose to, surely it should be he/him/his or she/her/hers. What is the he/him/they???? That makes no sense at all. What does that mean?

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 21:09

You missed out Dr. Sir etc.

Surely it doesn't matter. Just call people what they want to be called

sittingonacornflake · 14/02/2023 21:10

Surely sir isn't a pronoun. Or have I misunderstood?

Original poster

shoes4life · 14/02/2023 21:26

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 21:09

You missed out Dr. Sir etc.

Surely it doesn't matter. Just call people what they want to be called

But I'm not going to call anyone he or they to their face, by the very note of being a pronoun it's something you use when they aren't around. It's not a title, like Dr or Mr, that's totally different.
And he, goes with him and his. Not theirs. It makes no grammatical sense

OP posts:

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 21:28

You are of course correct and I'm playing devils advocate but technically could be in some cases eg Dr Dre. You know he isn't a doctor. He just calls himself that. (I believe unless thats wrong)

So therefore becomes a type of pronoun

Happylittlechicken · 14/02/2023 21:28

You forgot. Ze/zir/zirs and fae/faers

AFS1 · 14/02/2023 21:28

They/them is generally used by a person identifying as non-binary. They don’t subscribe to belonging to either male or female gender and don’t want to be referred to by their biological sex.

eighteenthirteen1 · 14/02/2023 21:31

Happylittlechicken · 14/02/2023 21:28

You forgot. Ze/zir/zirs and fae/faers

And the emoji pronouns

eighteenthirteen1 · 14/02/2023 21:32

AFS1 · 14/02/2023 21:28

They/them is generally used by a person identifying as non-binary. They don’t subscribe to belonging to either male or female gender and don’t want to be referred to by their biological sex.

We know. It's stupid

Original poster

shoes4life · 14/02/2023 21:32

AFS1 · 14/02/2023 21:28

They/them is generally used by a person identifying as non-binary. They don’t subscribe to belonging to either male or female gender and don’t want to be referred to by their biological sex.

Yeah and that's fine if it is they, them, theirs. But not the mixed up version of he/she/theirs. That's the bit I'm confused by.

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QuizzlyBears · 14/02/2023 21:32

There are hundreds of threads on this topic already, presumably you’re just here to cause arguments and upset with this post? It doesn’t matter if you ‘get it’ or not. Up to the individual, don’t use your energy on worrying about it.

Original poster

shoes4life · 14/02/2023 21:33

Happylittlechicken · 14/02/2023 21:28

You forgot. Ze/zir/zirs and fae/faers

Whaaat? Haven't heard those

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AFS1 · 14/02/2023 21:34

shoes4life · 14/02/2023 21:32

Yeah and that's fine if it is they, them, theirs. But not the mixed up version of he/she/theirs. That's the bit I'm confused by.

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Ah. Sorry - misunderstood your question.
Yeah, I’ve got no idea on that one!

IsItBedtimeYetNope · 14/02/2023 21:34

AFAIK she/he/theirs is used by the genderfluid crowd. But really who knows what any of this slosh means or why it matters so much to some people?

Original poster

shoes4life · 14/02/2023 21:34

QuizzlyBears · 14/02/2023 21:32

There are hundreds of threads on this topic already, presumably you’re just here to cause arguments and upset with this post? It doesn’t matter if you ‘get it’ or not. Up to the individual, don’t use your energy on worrying about it.

No not at all. It's the mix between some bits that refer to gender (he/him) and then the ownership bit (theirs) not matching. That's not been explained to me

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midgemadgemodge · 14/02/2023 21:34

Why do we announce someone's sex ?

Would it be considered reasonable to announce someone's religion , sexuality etc as a shorthand to talk about them?

Is it something every culture and language does ?

It's an historic leftover from a time when your sex implied so much about your worth and role

I don't consider myself none binary or anything other than woman but I do know the advantages I have gained when my sex has been unknown by my coworkers ( not collocated )

It's a way of saying I don't care what sex the person is

But if you want to remember what sex they are and remind everyone of it at all times, well don't be surprised if it takes longer to get rid of sexism in society

Original poster

shoes4life · 14/02/2023 21:35

midgemadgemodge · 14/02/2023 21:34

Why do we announce someone's sex ?

Would it be considered reasonable to announce someone's religion , sexuality etc as a shorthand to talk about them?

Is it something every culture and language does ?

It's an historic leftover from a time when your sex implied so much about your worth and role

I don't consider myself none binary or anything other than woman but I do know the advantages I have gained when my sex has been unknown by my coworkers ( not collocated )

It's a way of saying I don't care what sex the person is

But if you want to remember what sex they are and remind everyone of it at all times, well don't be surprised if it takes longer to get rid of sexism in society

Well yes, I agree.

OP posts:

AFS1 · 14/02/2023 21:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

youshouldnthaveasked · 14/02/2023 21:36

Them, there and theirs is plural. And always will be.

PeeblesQueebles · 14/02/2023 21:37

maddy68 · 14/02/2023 21:28

You are of course correct and I'm playing devils advocate but technically could be in some cases eg Dr Dre. You know he isn't a doctor. He just calls himself that. (I believe unless thats wrong)

So therefore becomes a type of pronoun

Dr is a prefix not a pronoun. If the two were interchangeable then I’d be “She/her Peebles” not Mrs Peebles.

They / their is fairly obv non-binary.

Aside from the gender identity I personally find it helpful when people use pronouns with names I don’t recognise.

What I don’t understand though is why it’s she/her, he/him. Is the second pronoun also interchangeable eg she/his, he/they etc?

PeeblesQueebles · 14/02/2023 21:38

youshouldnthaveasked · 14/02/2023 21:36

Them, there and theirs is plural. And always will be.

They’re?

malmi · 14/02/2023 21:39

I think when people mix them up like that, they are saying they are happy to be referred to as (e.g.) he or they, and therefore his/theirs, him/them. But they don't want to write them all out, or perhaps they don't realise there is usually a particular order to them when used "normally"

niandraladesand · 14/02/2023 21:40

www.lgbtqnation.com/2022/05/people-use-pronouns/

Here you go OP, in case you actually want to know what it means but were incapable of googling or asking the people using those pronouns yourself.

ShowOfHands · 14/02/2023 21:41

The Young People at work tell me that it's simply that they don't mind either pronoun use. For example, a student who is trans (born female, identifies as male), says he doesn't mind they/them as he prefers not to even make any reference to sex or gender but if people must, is happiest with he/him. Other students say they mostly feel non-binary but also like to have "maleness" affirmed at times so express a preference for both.

I err on the side of pronouns bringing nowt but grief and use fuck/off if I must but if you want an explanation, the person wielding the pronouns can probably offer one.

Whatatimetobealivetoday · 14/02/2023 21:43

midgemadgemodge · 14/02/2023 21:34

Why do we announce someone's sex ?

Would it be considered reasonable to announce someone's religion , sexuality etc as a shorthand to talk about them?

Is it something every culture and language does ?

It's an historic leftover from a time when your sex implied so much about your worth and role

I don't consider myself none binary or anything other than woman but I do know the advantages I have gained when my sex has been unknown by my coworkers ( not collocated )

It's a way of saying I don't care what sex the person is

But if you want to remember what sex they are and remind everyone of it at all times, well don't be surprised if it takes longer to get rid of sexism in society

Wow thanks for this, never really thought about it like that before.

youshouldnthaveasked · 14/02/2023 21:44

PeeblesQueebles · 14/02/2023 21:38

They’re?

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Yes it must have autocorrected sorry. Should be their they them