Do very wealthy people realise how fortunate they are?

[Nevergetflowers]

I know money doesn’t necessarily make you happy (it helps though!) but do very wealthy people appreciate/acknowledge how very fortunate they are, or do they take it for granted?
I live in a very expensive area (we just have a nice, but *Normal house) I tutor children often in multi million pound properties, stunning sea views, huge pools etc (I’m abroad)
At the weekend I went to a new place, it was incredible, the interior, views etc, I said to the parent ‘Wow, incredible house, so lovely’ in a nice way and he genuinely looked confused/surprised and then smiled and thanked me, a bit surprised as if ‘Oh yes, it is I suppose’
The people are often nice, but in all honesty, rarely look happy and tend to complain a lot. How can you not appreciate it all, when compared to the average persons stress & struggles (especially at the moment) and having all that beauty around you 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think this is where the subtlety is.

It's much easier to graciously receive a compliment on the architecture/view/flowers/etc than a more general "it's amazing" type comment which can feel a bit awkward.
If you see something every day you stop being amazed by it, that doesn't mean you stop appreciating the specific things that make it nice.

Everyone takes things for granted, especially things like fingers.

In my experience the more wealth one has the more one worries about losing it, so we swap one set of stresses for another. Better to be able to stress about losing it all though of course.

Further, different people move in different circles, for example if you have kids and get a brand new car it’s amazing how many people who didn’t talk to you before suddenly notice you exist at the school drop off.

Everyone takes things for granted, especially things like fingers.

True, but not what I was expecting to read.

Nope because the majority grow up with a huge safety net.

"The people are often nice, but in all honesty, rarely look happy and tend to complain a lot"

Hence shows like White Lotus 🤣

I once complicated a colleague on their home and she replied ‘Thanks, yes I’m really rich’ with a twinkle in her eye. It was very funny but most people are self deprecating and play things down when they say thank you - maybe he was doing that?

It's the 'well, I worked hard for all this...' attitude I can't bear. Most people work hard but will never be wealthy; many not comfortable or even secure.

Sometimes I really think the very wealthy are clueless about ordinary life.

I once read that everyone becomes accustomed to their own enviroments .He probably does this ,as you say he has other wealthy friends .I think often the more you have the more you want sometimes .Wealthy people often want the latest car or gadgets .He doesnt see himself as privileged!

Do you realise how fortunate you are? You have a lot more than many people so it's just the same?

To a degree this stuff is all relative.

He may have felt awkward or not expected the compliment?

Just because someone doesn't look happy doesn't mean they aren't?

We all complain about stuff occasionally, not sure how you'd know someone was always complaining?

Also wealth doesn't protect you from negative events like ill health.

God yes!

People for whom material wealth is hugely important are never satisfied. They always want more. There is always more to get.

The only happy wealthy people I know are the ones whose values and life satsfaction have little to do with material gain, they just happened to get wealthy as a by product.

YABU for asking this question about others without even considering how hugely fortunate and wealthy you are yourself, relative to others again.

we had a lot of money growing up - private school, far flung hols, house with indoor swimming pool etc and then lost it all.

now I have a decent amount and we are comfortable. It’s the best place to be IME. When we had loads of money there was lots of snidey shit, jealousy, oneupmanship and theft.

There’s definitely a sweet spot where you have enough to be really comfortable but not too much that you get all the problems that go with it.

I agree with this. We are comfortable. No mortgage on our £400k three bed semi, income in retirement of around £55k (two occupational pensions plus one state pension with another to come in 6 years), good savings and investments partly due to inheritance. The biggest factor is that we never had children though (
fertility issues, not choice). We can afford nice holidays but apart from that live fairly modestly and always have done.

“Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.” ― Spike Milligan

When did he say that? My Grandad used to say "money can't buy happiness but it makes being miserable a damn sight more comfortable". He died in 1979.

@Firstdays I have also read that the minimum you need to be happy is approx £23K

The idea is that once your basic needs are met, anything extra is a bonus eg more clothes, nicer car etc

But of you don't have enough £ to pay the day to day bills, then life is a challenge

You don't know what you've got till it's gone.

Depends what you mean by fortunate. Most wealthy people have worked very hard to get where they are and still work hard to maintain their lifestyle, using fortunate meaning lucky can grind

@gogohmm

Why?

They are fortunate

Lots of people work very hard all their lives and stay on mw

As I said before and I'll say it again:

Lots of people work really hard, long hours, etc but don't actually earn that much due to the nature of the job they do eg nurse, teacher etc. Many people on MW work bloody hard too.

This attitude of wealthy people work hard really pisses me off tbh.

'have also read that the minimum you need to be happy is approx £23K'

Is that per week or per month?😂

I think everyone is likely guilty of taking some of the good things in their life for granted.

We wanted to move areas for about 15 years. We talked about it, planned it, saved for it, it was our number one goal.

We moved to our desired area and were delighted. It's beautiful, perfect, we love living here. For the first few months I had to pinch myself every time I drove home because I was literally that thrilled.

But that wears off - now it's just the norm for us. I still love living here, I still feel incredibly happy and grateful we managed it. But I no longer walk around all day with a huge grin, feeling ecstatic about it - because I've got used to it, I now take living here for granted.

I imagine it's the same with anything, especially money.

In my experience, outside of sudden disasters, rich and poor have a certain amount of space they allot to problems. That is why the most depressing thing can be being problem-free.