Toileting is a sore point for many people, and it really depends on the aspirations of the kids in your school whether you can be lax with it or whether you have to forbid it.
Truancy is rife in my school, so we had to forbid toileting unless there is a medical reason. Our kids use toilets to hide from lessons, be on their phones, vape and make tik tok videos. We used to lof toileting, had people escort kids to the toilets - none of it made a difference, so now kids are just not allowed to go.
On the other hand, my Trust don't seem to accept that we simply don't have enough toilets to allow everyone to go at break or lunch. Or that some kids will flood during lessons and need to change their pads. There is no flexibility.
I'd like to get back to a point where it's teacher discretion, but even there it can be a minefield.
As for the job in general, I still love it. Teenagers are, on the whole, an amusing bunch and the odd moment when you get through to them feels amazing. Yes, behaviour can be a challenge, but again, it really depends on how it is handled from a senior leader point of view. The paperwork sucks, but I have managed to get myself into a relatively niche area of working where I end up with more of the interesting paperwork and less of the shifting paper for the sake of it.
I think what gets a lot of new colleagues now is the lack of training. Most routes into teaching are now 1 year of training only, in some cases a mere 6 weeks, and often focused on getting into management rather than classroom teaching, and that just isn't enough to make a well-rounded teacher. I went and trained for 4 years, with 2-3 school-based placements per year. Our course focused on pedagogy - something so many PGCE routes and school direct routes don't actually teach before you set foot into the classroom. Other countries, in which teaching is valued, insist on many years' worth of training before someone is a teacher. It makes a difference in maturity levels and in someone's approach to children of all ages.
Inexperience means poor behaviour in the classroom, as does a constant stream of new teachers coming in and then leaving within a few months. Like anything, relationships with the kids matter - and I don't mean friendships.
I have a colleague who is mates with the kids and they behave incredibly well for him in lessons, but he hates his job because his room is now a social hub before school, at break and lunch, and after school, as well as during lessons where many kids seek him out. He never has time to do his actual work and ends up doing it all at night, but it's of his own making.
I have a different relationship with the kids. They respect me, because I have been here a while, know my stuff and won't take any shit (from them or from management's unreasonable side - I have been known to pull people up on their bullshit). But I also insist on breaks, lunches and time to prepare my lessons or do my paperwork at work. Therefore, I get more done and am less stressed and less prone to hating my job. And because I'm good at what I do (and take the approach that accountability goes both ways), managers, on the whole, leave me alone.
TL;DR, a few things need to change:
-more reason, from parents and from management
-longer, better quality teacher training focused on pedagogy and child psychology
-an approach to retention within schools (crap managers drive good teachers to the next school)
-on that note, better management training for aspiring leaders
-some bloody self-respect and self-care from new and existing teachers