Today I went on a playdate with a fairly new friend and a few other mums were present. We were chatting and she asked how I was. I told her I’d been unusually fatigued the last few weeks (her response was “you do look really, really tired”😀) and that my 3.5 year old daughter was in a particular heightened emotional phase that was making things quite challenging. I gave examples, saying she’d start screaming if I played certain songs for instance.
This new friend then said “you know she can hear everything you’re saying”. This really threw me, as I didn’t think I was speaking ill of my child, but perhaps this woman had a point that I should wait until she wasn’t around to talk about her development, moods etc.
This threw me a bit, and made me feel a bit like I was a bad parent, sort of putting me on the back foot from the get go.
But the main thing was that this woman kind of zoned in on my daughter. My daughter was cranky and tired earlier, and she was in a new environment with lots of kids she didn’t know. She was particularly sensitive to the loud noises (the kids all had these flute toys they were blowing), covering her ears and crying. This woman kept saying “ah it’s a sensory thing” and talking about her daughter who is being assessed for ADHD and possibly autism. Saying things like “my daughter was like that when she was her age, she's clearly overwhelmed". She was really taking in my kid, and making little unsolicited comments like that. I just felt like we were both being watched...
The dynamic honestly felt like we were having an evaluation with a child psychologist and not at a play date! I left quite shaken and upset, feeling like a bad mother and worrying that my kid might have autism… and I’m just wondering if I’m being really oversensitive. Or did this woman cross a line? I don’t know her very well at all.