Is 38 and 42 too old to have a healthy pregnancy?

[SisterAct123]

I'm second guessing myself and thinking he's too old and so am I. Would be a first for me and he's got three grown up children.
I'm nervous.

I got pregnant with my first at 38, apart from some pelvic pain my pregnancy was an absolute dream. But yes, everyone is different x

It's not ideal, but what in life is. If as a couple you're in decent physical and financial shape, the child would get a better start in life than most.

I was 41 and 43. Two healthy pregnancies, two healthy babies, no miscarriages ever. The children are now 4 and 2.5.
Parenthood is hard work for everyone, and I don't know what it would have been like in my twenties and thirties, but it's totally fine. Eldest will go to Reception in September and the youngest will be in pre school full-time. It is already getting easier. Of course we don't know whether or not the teen years will be a nightmare, but we've no reason to expect them to be.

We did opt to pay privately for the nipt test both times. It can't screen for everything but it can screen for a lot.

As long as you and your DH are in good health then it shouldn't be a problem. I had mine in mid 30's and early 40's and the second pregnancy was a lot easier as I was a lot healthier.

Yes, I understand that. My dad would be 104 this year. He was just so old fashioned and didn't think twice about disciplining my school friends when they came round, which of course they stopped doing. Was adamant that I had to be a virgin when I married so boys were banned and I wasnt allowed out until he died, and even then my mother adopted the same rhetoric. I've now got to look after my mum who was 26 years his junior so that combined with my own children just makes me feel like I've been a carer since I was about 6 or 7. People just don't think things through!

No. I was 38 and DH 49 when youngest was born.

Doesn't sound like an issue at all assuming health etc is all good from both ends.

The only concern I'd potentially have is around being an older parent and being fit /active enough to keep up with them but that's a very different thing and something I'm sure you'll consider.

Did we have the same Dad? Are we secretly sisters? 🥰
Actually, I don’t have my mum anymore either but I do have an elderly MIL so yes, combined with SN DC, the care has never really ended. I did have a brief respite for a few years x

Well, all you can do is try and see if it happens? Your body gives you the answer.

The reason you should not have a baby with him, is nothing to do with your ages.

Its because at least one of you hasn't put any serious thought into it. If you had, you wouldn't ask such a daft question.

Er hardly. I don’t know anyone who’s has a baby over 38 and I’m certainly not “sheltered”

The risks are greater the older you are especially for the woman. My partner is in his fifties and I'm in my early thirties and he has gotten me pregnant a few times in quick succession too but then again he is extremely fertile for his age.

Nope. You're still under 40.

No particular reason not to go for it at your ages, but you should emotionally prepare yourself for a pretty high chance of one or two miscarriages before you get your take-home baby - and you'll ideally need to crack straight on with ttc again after each mc.

I had my third at 37, and while it wasn't exactly easy compared to when I had my first two, it wasn't that difficult. and he's a joy. What you may need to consider is the increased likelihood of having a DC with some sort of SN and whether that would put you off. Older fathers seem to increase the chances of neurodiversity and that can't be screened for in the way Down's Syndrome can be.

Had my first at nearly 38 and second at 39. Both straightforward. OH was 40/42.

@TheSnootiestFox I can assure you we have both thought it through and discussed it fully. I'm sorry for your situation but like I said, each to their own...

Agreed. But noone has a crystal ball and you owe it to your unborn child to minimise the risks to their childhood as much as possible. Having a child in your 50s is just plain bonkers, but I wish you well x

Lots of staff I worked with had babies at 38-42.My mum had one of my sisters at 42 and another at 44. Her sister was about the same as they had cousins born the same year and then aunty had another later on.18 mths between mum and aunty. A lady at church was nearly 50 when she had a surprise first baby, we were all delighted for her and he is a lovely young man now.

Work on a healthy diet and good general health for say 6 mths and then go for it if you would like a child.Good luck.

I’d say totally fine. I started ttc dc2 at 39 and ended up having 3 mc before dc2 arrived but it turned out it was very likely a blood clotting issue which can affect pregnancy and solved by taking aspirin. So not necessarily age related at all. DC2 pregnancy was completely normal other than the aspirin and she’s a much better sleeper than dc1 was so I feel better than I did 10 years ago!

I will be 40 when I have my first later this year.
A little bit scared of the fact I have been so used to my lifestyle for so long that it's going to be a big adjustment.

Thanks...I agree, he doesn't smoke or drink (at all). Admittedly he is a little bit overweight which he is working on and is affronted that he hasn't become shredded like he was in his 20s/30s after dieting for 3 weeks 😂but in all seriousness, he has like 4 or 5lbs to lose to get to a healthy weight so in a better place than many half his age 😊

We have just got an unexpected BFP and my DH is 52. We weren't even trying.

I think you're too old. FIL was 40 when DH was born and he hated growing up with an 'old' Dad. While mine and our friends parents are in their 60s his Dad is now in his 80s and it does affect DH.

No we were 39 and 46 and had twins(don’t recommend that never vomited so much in my life)