Is 38 and 42 too old to have a healthy pregnancy?

[SisterAct123]

I'm second guessing myself and thinking he's too old and so am I. Would be a first for me and he's got three grown up children.
I'm nervous.

My mum had her 4th baby at 44 and my dad was 46. They said it helped keep them young.

I hope it goes well for you.

I had an extremely traumatic first pregnancy at 30 and now am older and have met a lovely second partner and am considering it... but like you.. am hoping I'm not "too old" xx

I am also just thinking on a practical level it would have benefits.
More life experience, more time to develop assets etc. no so bad.

My friend had her second set of healthy twins at 47. Her first set were 17!

No one can know if their pregnancy will good well at any age.
All conception is a gamble. The range of things that can go wrong is huge but most go well.
I'm just amazed at your DH having got 3 kids to adulthood already wants to go again... 😬

No, not too old - I had DC1 at 39 and DC2 at 45 - both naturally and both healthy (DH is younger than me I don't know if that makes any difference). Took me a while to fall pregnant with both, but both were low risk smooth pregnancies and both are fine. I think its luck of the draw really. Yes risks rise as you get older but chances are still in your favour. Old or young there are no guarantees of how baby will develop. I know at least 4 other ladies who had babies between the ages of 40 and 44, all babies are healthy. Good luck

I had my first baby at 41. My baby is 6 months old, healthy and just the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Hell no!! It's not too late!! My work colleague has just produced her second healthy bouncing baby age 41. First baby at 39.
Go for it!

I had mine at 39. All good. DC at school and plenty of mums around who had their children than me.

Many people are negative (mainly on the internet) about older mums but your life is on a different trajectory and its best to
enjoy that rather feeling that you missed out on having children because of what others thought.

No but I would commit to having 2 children. Not fair if you expect the older siblings to ‘step up’ and spend time with a much younger sibling they hardly know because you left it late (not saying you do expect this it’s just something I feel obliged to point out).

Not at all. Age does have an impact - it is likely to take you longer to concieve, higher chance of miscarriage and chromosomal abnormalities compared to someone younger but its a scale and many can still have healthy pregnancies into their 40s.

I'd make sure you were on the same page before TTC. Are you both open to investigations and subsequent interventions up to IVF if you don't conceive? If you find out baby has an abnormalitity or congenital defect are you both on the same page about continuing the pregnancy? Both questions everyone should discuss with their partner before TTC.

If it’s just about the child and yourself being healthy, plenty of people have had healthy babies at this age. If it’s more about questioning whether you want children at an older age (healthy or otherwise), this needs exploring a bit further. If you definitely want kids then go for it.

I agree with the bit where older siblings shouldn't be expected to step up - but differ in the fact that I think having one child is fine - a child doesn't need siblings close in age

Sorry posted too soon a child doesn't need siblings close in age or even siblings at all as long as you create a positive environment for the child and give the child plenty of emotional support.

That said - if you actively wanted to aim for a large brood of say 6+ at 38/42 - I'd say go for it !! It has been done before !

Sorry I quoted the wrong post in my last post

Please don't 😑as the daughter of a man who was 53 when I was born, I really resented having to care for an elderly and sick father during my teens and he died slap bang in the middle of my A-levels. I understand that illness can strike at any time but old age is hardly a surprise. I never really bounced back from that and I'm 50 myself now. Just because you CAN do something, doesn't mean that you should. I genuinely would have preferred not to have been born than to have dealt with an OAP for a dad!

No, 38 is still young.

Absolutely, but so many parents who have an only later in life who are convinced they’ll manage and it’ll be fine, suddenly have a freak out at some point about ‘dying and leaving their child alone in the world’. Usually when the child is actually here because it’s hard to worry about an abstract child that doesn’t exist yet, so by that point the toothpaste is out of the tube. And they then set about pressuring other family members into being substitute siblings.

My parents were 37 and 42 when they had me - absolutely fine.

DH's were both 42 or 43 - absolutely fine.

We were 38 when we had DD - absolutely fine.

When I had DS, I was 38 and DH was 54. With DD I was 41 and he was 57. Easy uncomplicated pregnancies and two perfect, wonderful, happy children.

no.my husband is close to 50 and we are trying for number 2!

Absolutely this.

If I was to become a parent in my 50s though I think I'd adopt a policy of no smoking, keep drinking to special occasions/drink relatively little and keep my BMI close to 20 because I'd want to have as much energy as possible. But that's just my take on it!
All the best with ttc - that life experience work be good for a child

I was 36 and DH was 41 when I had DC1, 38 and 43 for DC2. Neither were "healthy" pregnancies - I basically got liver failure for all manner of weird reasons. But the quacks told me I'd have got it no matter what my age, it was just a defect in my own physiology. The kids were and are absolutely fine - robust and healthy. So I guess my point is that things can go skewiff at any age and in any pregnancy. Good luck and take care.

Sorry life experience** not life experience work! Aargh typos!!

I had similar - my dad was an old dad (and back then, people were OLD) Although I loved him dearly, I’m ashamed to say I was embarrassed as a young child. Everyone had a much younger dad.
He would have been well over 100 now so I guess I’m not having to look after him in his old age which a lot of my peers are now doing.