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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Getting vilified as a high earner

295 replies

MagicMondays · 12/02/2023 20:58

DH and I are both high earners. We do highly skilled and quite niche professional jobs which involved most of our 20s spent grafting, living apart, anti social hours etc when our friends were all having more fun! Both jobs still demand long hours and have a lot of responsibility. We have two DC and it's a struggle to sort childcare that works and make sure one of us is around for them. Our mortgage is huge (cos London) on a run of the mill Victorian terrace.
We obviously get no allowances - no personal allowances on income tax, no 30 hours childcare, no child benefit etc. Our tax bill is huge.
No issue with any of that. High earners should pay a disproportionate amount into the system to support others/redistribute wealth etc.

What I can't get my head around is how much people in the UK seem to dislike people like me. I see it on these boards all the time. People demanding I pay more tax, people complaining high earners are not as deserving as nurses, teachers etc, my own family making unfavourable comparisons with others.
We don't live a flash lifestyle at all - ordinary clothes, old car, not really interested in grand holidays, posh restaurants etc. You wouldn't know other than from knowing the jobs we do that we must have a good income.

I'm just a bit tired of this idea that people like me are arseholes in some way. I'm really not!

OP posts:
hated4truth · 12/02/2023 21:42

ExistenceOptional · 12/02/2023 21:34

Sorry you do lose your personal tax allowance over about £120k. If you are both earning about that you are on at least a quarter of a million income a year after pension payments. So yes I would expect you to either have a luxurious lifestyle or be buying a very expensive house.

You lose £1 of PTA for every £2 you make over £100K, which means that (currently) you lose the entirety of your PTA at £125K and change. But under no circumstances your income tax increases faster than your income. You always take more home by earning more.

anythinginapinch · 12/02/2023 21:43

Also, my entrepreneurial nature has absolutely resulted in many dozens of people being employed. They are well paid. Yet I'm a villain

DillDanding · 12/02/2023 21:43

Meh. Not sure what your gripe is.

I’m a high earner, so’s my husband. No more than our friends, but still.

We pay shit loads of tax, quite rightly. Certainly don’t feel rich, but we’re not exactly poor either. Have never felt vilified.

ExistenceOptional · 12/02/2023 21:43

OP this is meant kindly but if you come across in real life how you come across in this thread then I am not surprised your family are funny with you. I think this is about your own issues at least partly.

Airplant · 12/02/2023 21:43

which involved most of our 20s spent grafting, living apart, anti social hours etc when our friends were all having more fun! Both jobs still demand long hours and have a lot of responsibility.

Guess what OP so do most people with manual jobs who have grafted all their lives for shitty pay. End of the day not everyone can catch a break or get that life changing moment. So cry me a bloody river...

Oh and I say that as someone who also have a well paid professional job. 🙄

AG247 · 12/02/2023 21:44

Both of my parents come from absolutely nothing either, but they don’t resent other people that didn’t, and just got on with it. The point of this is that they aren’t any happier than anybody else and they have their upbringing to compare it with. It shouldn’t be a contest, and certainly I don’t think anyone deserves to be ‘vilified’ for earning well? Do you? It does not wipe away other issues and it doesn’t make anyone significantly happier either.

ExistenceOptional · 12/02/2023 21:45

hated4truth · 12/02/2023 21:42

You lose £1 of PTA for every £2 you make over £100K, which means that (currently) you lose the entirety of your PTA at £125K and change. But under no circumstances your income tax increases faster than your income. You always take more home by earning more.

Show quote history

So OP and her partner between them earn at a minimum quarter of a million a year after pension payments.

sunshinenroses · 12/02/2023 21:45

Yes you're right- you're very hard done by 🤔Biscuit

Sighhhhh · 12/02/2023 21:45

I wonder what you want out of this thread

lieselotte · 12/02/2023 21:47

My father was a successful lawyer who was up at 5am and bed most nights at 1am

Presumably he chose to do that for the salary. Teachers and nurses can work those sorts of hours for considerably fewer rewards.

Yes, higher earners should absolutely pay more tax and stop whinging. Even if you can't have the expensive skiing holiday or car you could afford before covid you won't be starving or worrying about the heating bills. It's just offensive to whine.

HeadNorth · 12/02/2023 21:48

OP - you say you worked hard in your 20s, so this explains your high salary. Did you work harder than a nurse in her 20s? Is your job more essential? It is trying to act like you deserve a massive salary compared to others because of ‘hard work’ that will irk your friends and family. Maybe try toning that down?

DotAndCarryOne2 · 12/02/2023 21:48

Praying4Memory · 12/02/2023 21:05

You are doing the exact same in your post. Saying poorer people were "off having fun" in their 20s while you worked hard. Ignoring they often were working just as hard, just for less pay.

Not what she’s saying and some of the posts so far are kind of bearing out wht the OP’s saying.

VeggieSalsa · 12/02/2023 21:50

MagicMondays · 12/02/2023 21:30

Because you lose your personal allowance for income tax

Show quote history

It’s still not a pay cut. It’s a 60% ish effective tax rate on the money you earn between 100-125k, you never get paid more and take home less (unless you factor in losing the 30 free hours and then have to pay for them, but that’s not strictly a tax).

source: I’m a tax advisor earning > £100k (and less than £125k)

Hotelfoxtrot · 12/02/2023 21:50

lieselotte · 12/02/2023 21:47

My father was a successful lawyer who was up at 5am and bed most nights at 1am

Presumably he chose to do that for the salary. Teachers and nurses can work those sorts of hours for considerably fewer rewards.

Yes, higher earners should absolutely pay more tax and stop whinging. Even if you can't have the expensive skiing holiday or car you could afford before covid you won't be starving or worrying about the heating bills. It's just offensive to whine.

Come off it. Teachers do not work those types of hours, nurses likely do. Teachers get more paid time off than any profession I know of.

sunshinenroses · 12/02/2023 21:50

No one is making you feel guilty for being a high earner- that's something you've taken on yourself. Yes, people won't have pity for you that you struggle slightly more with money these days because you're not struggling to eat or heat your house. You're struggling to have the exact car you want or you have to have less nights/days out maybe. That's when people start judging you in accordance to money matters.

Meadowlands · 12/02/2023 21:51

If you have worked hard, you shouldn't be vilified.

Charltonandthewheelies · 12/02/2023 21:51

I agree with you and see exactly where you are coming from. Regardless of the cost of living today there have always been professions that require more study and being skint in your 20s. There are always going to be jobs that people choose to go into for the job satisfaction, not the pay. (I am in one myself) but I do not begrudge you at all

sunshinenroses · 12/02/2023 21:51

Sorry-
If you're to moan about that- that's when people start judging you in accordance to money matters

Pirateships · 12/02/2023 21:51

In real life no one gives a crap unless it's something you bring up or you treat others as beneath you because of it. Pay is fucked up in this country though, me and DH earn substantially more than even a consultant at the end of an NHS career would be on which is unfair and ludicrous; that said I mean I'm not going to martyr myself and change jobs out of guilt.

Sirius3030 · 12/02/2023 21:52

MagicMondays · 12/02/2023 21:10

If you listen to what people say on these boards the answer to all the country's problems is tax the high earners more. I'm not sure how that would work because eventually you'd be paying more in tax than you take home.
I had a pay rise this year that was a pay cut because it flipped me into a new threshold. I don't expect anyone to care because there are bigger problems in the world, I get that. But with 10% inflation on top it's strained our finances.

Show quote history

You and your partner are earning £100+K each. Your finances are not strained. If you were worried about the tax bracket you should just flip some more of your salary into your pension, and problem solved.
My heart bleeds.

knowitmore · 12/02/2023 21:52

Do not feel guilty for being a high-earner. I think this is very much a British thing that you've described to be honest and I hate it. Success and money isn't celebrated -it's frowned upon. People are struggling right now yes, but that doesn't mean you should pay more tax because you are a high earner. It sounds like you have worked your butts off to get where you are - so Kudos to both of you for doing so. You made the sacrifices and should now enjoy being comfortable. Don't let others make you feel bad.

Cosycover · 12/02/2023 21:53

Is your wallet too small for your £50s and your diamond shoes too tight?

DotAndCarryOne2 · 12/02/2023 21:56

Forgooodnesssakenow · 12/02/2023 21:39

You lose £1 of your personal allowance for every £2 you earn over 100k, so to entirely lose it you must earn 125k ISH.

That you'd quibble at that when you earn so much is bonkers to me.

Show quote history

It’s it so much about the high earnings though ? To me, seeing nearly 70% of what I’ve earned through hard graft and long hours go to the tax man would be pretty galling.

Arrrrrrragghhh · 12/02/2023 21:56

Lots of people work incredibly and hard and get little to show,
Having a high income opens countless opportunities regardless of how hard the state penalises you.
You have a high income. Do you really cares what the people that didn’t work incredibly hard care about it?

Charltonandthewheelies · 12/02/2023 21:59

knowitmore · 12/02/2023 21:52

Do not feel guilty for being a high-earner. I think this is very much a British thing that you've described to be honest and I hate it. Success and money isn't celebrated -it's frowned upon. People are struggling right now yes, but that doesn't mean you should pay more tax because you are a high earner. It sounds like you have worked your butts off to get where you are - so Kudos to both of you for doing so. You made the sacrifices and should now enjoy being comfortable. Don't let others make you feel bad.

Also this!