To have to use my birthday money for bills

[Olive180]

It was my birthday yesterday, I turned 35. A few relatives sent me some birthday money, £100 in total. This will be used to pay off bills. Which makes me really sad. I'm 35 and having to use my birthday money to pay for basic things I can't afford. My gran asked what I'll do with the money and when I told her she said that's not what she sent it for and told me to spend it on a treat instead. Aibu spending it on paying off bills?

For context, I have a partner, no kids. Both of us have 'professional' careers and we rent a flat together. I cant get my head around how we're getting worse and worse off, despite both getting new jobs/salary bumps in the past couple of years and being very careful with money.

I spent the money I got for Christmas on my DD January birthday presents and on a new coat for DS.
I can’t remember the last time I spent any gifted money on me.
it really is crap. Sorry OP

I don't agree. As well as vouchers restricting where you spend so possibly forcing you to buy something you don't really want or that's more expensive than available elsewhere, the value is lost if the retailer goes bust which is not unheard of and likely to be more common over the next year or two.

But unless the OP comes back to fill the holes in her post, it's all academic anyway.

To me the two - spoiling yourself and paying bills - arent that far apart. The peace of mind and breathing space you get from just getting something urgent and necessary off your back can feel like a real gift. So tell your gran you ARE spoiling yourself because the gift of that bit of respite is actually amazing. Sending lots of solidarity as I am also feeling the squeeze in so many ways and the mental burden of it is exhausting xx Fantastic to have some extra cash to just ease it a little!

Another one who can't quite work out why two professionals in your situation are down to less than their last hundred quid, but telling grandma showed a real lack of grace.

I still do this op as I don't earn enough to cover my monthly expenses. I just tell people that I treated myself to something nice if they ask. You do what you have to to get by.

I don't really understand your question. As an adult there's no guarantee that treat money is used for treats if you're not earning enough to sustain yourself. Throughout my twenties and early thirties I'd often spend treat money on the electric meter or suchlike.
Dick move to tell your grandmother though, you could have told a white lie to save her feelings.

I've done this. I put a housewarming gift in my purse to pay for groceries.

My dad always very kindly gave me my christmas present of money at the beginning of December as he knew that’s what I bought the children’s presents with.

It’s just the way it is sometimes. But he knew any gift of money he gave me would go on bills etc.

Don’t forget the £500 on her DP’s birthday weekend. And the money for her outings and swimming clubs. Or and the expensive humidifier they bought.

OP sounds delusional and terrible with money. Stop blaming the cost of living crisis. Imagine trying to get strangers to feel sorry for you knowing how much money you throw away.

If PP's advanced searches are correct, I'm assuming you used it towards your credit card bill. If so, as the money you spent on the card was for leisure, I wouldn't class that as a bill.

You aren't the first,won't be the last.sadly it's the way things are.🌈hope you had a good birthday though.

I've had to do that loads of times and Xmas money

Totally sympathise... how about a compromise - use most of it for bills, but use some for a little treat- buy yourself some flowers , go to the pictures or something like that.

You were unreasonable for telling your gran that you would be using the money she gave you to pay bills. That probably made her feel like shit. And I’d love to know what you’re spending all your money on if you can’t afford a small treat for yourself on your birthday when you have 2 good wages coming in.

Happy belated birthday OP.
Could you sell some un-used/ unwanted household items on FB marketplace or something to help cover the bills? I did this the other week and raised about £140 which really helped.