No, you’re not unreasonable at all. At the same time, it may be possible for him to change—if he is willing to. That’s a big if. Several issues here. How he spends money incl savings for his half of holidays and debts, how he spends his time, and his lack of respect for you and family life. His attitude. Drinking.
If it were me, this is what I’d try. I’d take the next day that he is off and spend the whole day together to work things out. If you’re able to have family or friends take the kids for the day even better, or plan movies and activities with snacks they can watch and keep busy and do in another part of the house.
The key is to remain calm because there will be a lot of emotions on both sides. You want this ‘meeting’ to be productive. Tell him your concerns in a straightforward way, not accusing, just facts and how you feel. You can have paper and pencil if you like to make sure you cover everything. Tell him how you’d like things to be, a positive picture, not only the bad things. Suggest specific changes such as putting all money into one or more shared account(s) and keeping a list of shared financial goals and a budget. Give examples of alternative behaviors to limit the drinking, to make time for family, share responsibilities, show love and affection and respect to each other. Say you want to be a team and to support each other. Not be enemies. Then, ask him what his thoughts are, what his resentments are, etc. Find a harmonious way forward. This situation has probably built up over time.
I’ve done this myself, Op, and it helped so much. No marriage or partnership is perfect. If the two people look at each other as enemies, no progress will be made. Of course it takes both to be willing to make things better. I hope your husband will try. Because I can sense the unhappiness in your post, and you have the right to have your concerns addressed and resolved.