Page 3 | Twins boys don't get along

mumoftwinboys12 · 2023-02-11T12:06:30+00:00

Heya I have twin boys that literally do no like each other don't want to be around each other one is so mean fo the other one, They don't even get. Along for 5 mins its constant. One has adhd The other asd and attachment aniexty! Is there any other mums with multiples that have the same thing I always thought twins are side by side! Can I also ask not to comment if you going to comment on parenting skills or be negative Thank you

Minfilia · 11/02/2023 18:20

Circumferences · 11/02/2023 13:27

A friend of mine who is a twin seems to believe that in sets of twins there's always one twin that is happy to be a twin, but one twin who wishes they weren't a twin.

That’s true of mine for sure.

they love each other and are very close but twin 1 has said a few times that he wishes he wasn’t!

Drivingmecrazydizzy · 11/02/2023 19:00

i have identical twin boys almost 12 and honestly what your describing is completely normal! One of mine has adhd and the other asd! They drive me mad it’s sometimes verbal but turns physical and they constantly wind each other up for no reason! I can’t take them anywhere even shops as they will do it in public as well! School said they have different friends at school but still at each other when they bump into each other! I really feel for you hun but your not alone I feel your pain xx

Original poster

mumoftwinboys12 · 11/02/2023 19:14

Drivingmecrazydizzy · 11/02/2023 19:00

i have identical twin boys almost 12 and honestly what your describing is completely normal! One of mine has adhd and the other asd! They drive me mad it’s sometimes verbal but turns physical and they constantly wind each other up for no reason! I can’t take them anywhere even shops as they will do it in public as well! School said they have different friends at school but still at each other when they bump into each other! I really feel for you hun but your not alone I feel your pain xx

This sounds exactly like mine!
It's so hard isn't it.. like tonight they've been at each others throat about a pack of crisp now had a fight over it!
At school same as yours!

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BunsenBurnerBaby · 11/02/2023 19:23

Mine are teens and going to different schools. They need the space to develop their own identity and not always be X’s twin. They do get on well and always have but it gets intense (and argumentative) when they are together for long periods of time. Hang in there!

Drivingmecrazydizzy · 11/02/2023 19:52

It really is hard hun sometimes I just sit and cry and wonder what I did so wrong! I’ve shipped mine off to their dads for the weekend and as horrible as it sounds I look forward to the odd weekend he does have them just for the break! Then I get upset because I feel it isn’t normal for a mum to look forward to a break from her own children! I love them so much but they wear me down xx

StrawHatOnTheParcelShelf · 11/02/2023 19:59

mumoftwinboys12 · 11/02/2023 12:46

Thank you so much,

So there 12 year old boys,

I do spend separate times with other them but now there older don't really want mum hanging around lol..

They are at the same school but separate lessons
And always have been which I think I shouldn't of done and that's why they don't get along I just thought it was a good idea to have them separate for identity etc! Nope I feel bad!

The literally irritated each other, walk passed push or say comments they can't be in the same room with out the other starting!! Or eating wrong

They even argue over the way the other one breathes!

I feel a little better hearing your stories as I always thought twins were inseparable! And see other post and think why are mine like this what have I done

That sounds a lot like my 2 who aren't twins but are close in age.

They're finally growing out of it at 17/18 but still have their moments. It's lovely when they're getting along though, except when it's to gang up on me!

I don't know what the fix is OP, it's very stressful to live with though. Just keep enforcing your expectations about being respectful to everyone in the family.

Anothermother3 · 11/02/2023 20:07

Disclaimer I don’t have twins but my 2 oldest sometimes clash heavily one suspected ASD one ADHD. It’s just that one is a bit of a sensory overload for the other and they can misinterpret things which then causes escalation. They used to gel beautifully but it’s harder than it was. They still love each other but there is a lot of clashing. I try and make differences more overt and try and help that accommodate different needs but I don’t live in a large detached house so there’s only so much space to be had.

Tamuchly · 11/02/2023 20:17

My boys are almost 15, they get on well most of the time but when they don’t it’s awful as they share a room and can’t get away from one another! They aren’t identical, not even similar, but school still gets them mixed up and hardly a week passes without one being offended by being mistaken for the other.

Iwannanewhouse · 11/02/2023 20:22

I also have identical twin boys age 12. They love each other fiercely but also hate each fiercely. They wind each other up constantly, fight, and can been really horrible to each other. They go through phases like this though and when it’s bad I question where on earth I have gone wrong. They are in separate classes and have their own friends within a bigger friendship group. Things are much better now. We moved them into separate bedrooms and they have started going to clubs and hobbies which match their different interests. They told me the other day that they are best friends and I truly believe that, but they still can’t walk past each other without poking, shoving, hitting each other it’s ridiculous.
Remember unlike normal siblings twins are always at the same mental age and state meaning that you haven’t got an older one who will let it go or have a slightly more mature perspective on a situation, or go easy in a fight! It’s hard work I really feel for you and totally get it.

urrrgh46 · 11/02/2023 20:49

i totally get this. My eldest 2 kids are not twins - they're 14 months apart BUT eldest (DD 21) has ASD and the younger (DS 20) has ADHD. Basically they didn't stop arguing unless they were asleep or not in the same room. They could argue about the colour of the sky or who breathes more efficiently - absolutely anything and everything. They just have very different personalities, outlooks and approach to life. Things have significantly improved since DS moved out last July - DD can tolerate DS without argument for a couple of days.

Original poster

mumoftwinboys12 · 13/02/2023 19:58

School hols whos finding it hard

Twin2 has choose violence every day since Friday,

Twin1 was out with his friends and fell off his shoulders and broken both wrist! And we're only on say one!

Is it normal to cry so much!

Does anyone get support with there twins cause I don't family have a go at me about them, I brought them up by myself.. an apparently it's because of me they do this

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Drivingmecrazydizzy · 13/02/2023 20:03

It’s not because of u hun! Mine came back last night they wouldn’t go to bed till 1.30am. All day today I’ve had swearing, fighting and general headache from them! I’ve stuck to my guns and took all electronics from them and stuck them in bed at 6.30 (not asleep) I’ve shouted up the stairs so many times because of the screaming and banging but determined not to give in! Although right now I’m tempted to give phones back just for peace! I said the same about not day one I’ll have no hair left by the end xx

Timesawastin · 13/02/2023 22:40

kitcat15 · 11/02/2023 15:37

How sad

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Why is it sad? You can't like everyone and just because you're twins why must you?

nalabae · 13/02/2023 23:01

I think they will when older

kitcat15 · 14/02/2023 15:30

Timesawastin · 13/02/2023 22:40

Why is it sad? You can't like everyone and just because you're twins why must you?

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🙄 I would be sad if my GC and my GC didn't like each other.....very fucking sad I would say

Duckingella · 14/02/2023 20:53

My DIL is a twin;her and her sister have never really gotten along with each other;she's closer to her step sister than her own twin.

Original poster

mumoftwinboys12 · 09/03/2023 20:43

I took them all away this week as I thought we all needed it! Omg what a nightmare

All they've done is argue fight, one of them didn't want to come to anything do anything!

The school called social service on me cause apparently they fight and argue to much

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