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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to parents with a cold

36 replies

Grettaetta · 11/02/2023 01:35

me, Dh and kids are due to go to my parents later on today. I’ve had a mild sore throat for couple of days and have woken just now with a snotty nose. Would you avoid going? It’s a trip that the kids have been looking forward to for ages. Parents are in good health at the moment. Obviously if they got a cold they might feel pants but it shouldn’t make them very ill or anything…..

OP posts:
Forgottenmypasswordagain · 11/02/2023 01:38

Ask them.

EmmaEmerald · 11/02/2023 01:41

Ask them.

Blip · 11/02/2023 01:42

Check for Covid...

HateEatingInTheDark · 11/02/2023 01:43

Ask them

But i would test everyone for Covid first too and obvs if positive I 100% wouldn't go

Original poster
Grettaetta · 11/02/2023 01:46

Yep, both sensible ideas! My kids will be so upset if we can’t go. They’ve been excited for ages. Fingers crossed it’s negative covid and they’re ok with us coming. Thanks

OP posts:
Hups · 11/02/2023 06:07

Yes, I would still go. If I had avoided seeing my parents every time one of mine had a cough, cold or a sore throat then they wouldn't have met them until they were about 15.

YearoftheRabbit23 · 11/02/2023 06:28

I wouldn't go to be honest even if the tests are negative - hopefully just a normal cold but it's hard to know, tests are unreliable these days and often don't show a positive until day 3+ of illness.

When testing make sure to do inside of cheeks, back of throat and nostril (don't eat/drink before for at least 30 mins).

If you do end up going, can you spend your visit outdoors to minimise risk to your parents, or have windows wide open indoors (I know it's cold...)?

Mumdiva99 · 11/02/2023 06:30

Yes and my parents would be upset if we didn't over a cold.

violetcuriosity · 11/02/2023 06:32

If I didn't go somewhere when one of us had a cold I don't think we would have left the house since 2020 🤣 then again I'm a teacher, DP's a groundsman and kids are at school plus a baby. I would just go, there's germs everywhere and as long as they're not isolating then they can pick up bugs anywhere.

InsufficientMum · 11/02/2023 06:37

The only ones who can answer this are your parents. If they say no to you, DH can take them.

YearoftheRabbit23 · 11/02/2023 06:43

PS when I had covid it was barely even a cold (mainly congestion when I was horizontal) and a very slightly scratchy throat, like I'd been talking too much, rather than a sore throat. Hence why I wouldn't risk meeting my mum with any symptoms.

Thepossibility · 11/02/2023 07:06

You ask them. It should be up to them if they want to take the risk.

inloveandmarried · 11/02/2023 09:35

Ask them and if you go wear a mask.

Mind you it depends on age, my mother is in her 80's and I will not go near her with a cold. It's so much harder for an 80 something to recover.

My adult children will still visit me with colds. I'm in my 50's. I recover quite easily.

Buymyselfflowers · 11/02/2023 09:36

I wouldn’t with my parents but they’re quite frail and elderly.

Could you go and wear a mask?

purpleme12 · 11/02/2023 09:45

Well no I wouldn't avoid going.
But I want brought up to avoid going to people if I had a cold.
And I know my parents wouldn't mind either

Hollyhead · 11/02/2023 09:47

I think ask them, and how old are they? Mine are late 50s so I would without question, I’d just not hug/kiss etc. I might be more cautious if they were frail or elderly.

turrrniiipz · 11/02/2023 09:49

A cold is a normal, mild illness that causes more irritation than anything else.

I don't avoid doing anything if I have a cold and I don't ask permission to see people over it.

Covid, flu, vomiting, diarrhoea, I stay at home and away from people. A cold? No.

Izzy24 · 11/02/2023 09:51

Depends on their age, health and personal preference. Wouldn’t you just ask them?

turrrniiipz · 11/02/2023 09:54

Thepossibility · 11/02/2023 07:06

You ask them. It should be up to them if they want to take the risk.

A cold never used to be 'a risk'.

It's just a cold.

Believeitornot · 11/02/2023 09:55

You can open windows while you’re there, but obviously ask them first.

JustAnotherDayInNorfolk · 11/02/2023 09:55

I've had a nasty cold all week and now have a hacking cough. My parents are looking forward to me visiting so I will do the 120 mole drive today.
I second a previous poster who said if you cancel plans because of a cold you'd never go anywhere!

Believeitornot · 11/02/2023 09:55

turrrniiipz · 11/02/2023 09:54

A cold never used to be 'a risk'.

It's just a cold.

Show quote history

There’s a risk it’s covid. And despite what the daily mail may have you believe, it’s a problem (and was part of the reason the NHS was falling over this winter).

turrrniiipz · 11/02/2023 10:12

If people want to live in fear of a cold that's their choice.

A cold doesn't automatically mean covid, and unless someone has a weak immune system or medical vulnerability there's really no need to hide away.

If someone has got covid, or a debilitating contagious illness then of course they should stay away from people. But for a cold is just being silly.

Buymyselfflowers · 11/02/2023 10:16

I don’t live in fear of a cold but I certainly don’t want to catch one if I can avoid it.

Dc currently has a cold - 3 days of sore throat, then constant runny nose, sneezing, feverish, can’t sleep, and now we are on to the cough which will probably last a week. No thanks!

reluctantbrit · 11/02/2023 10:25

Depends. I would go to my mum but not my in-laws who both have permanet serious health issues, especially lung problems.

Could just your DH and the children go?