Expected to go into work during my holiday ? Would you ? AIBU?

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AIBU

I work in a nursery in London. As I am a qualified teacher ( like 2 others ) I am on half term next week. The other practitioners will not be off and be in at work . They are allocated 28 days holiday a year and take it when they choose .

I appreciate as a teacher I am lucky that I get all school holidays . It is clear that some of my colleagues begrudge the teachers time off - I understand to them it seems unfair .

Next week( half term ) we have been told there is a staff meeting , a parents evening and a stay and play event which we teachers are expected to attend .

I have 3 children on half term . How on earth am I meant to make these events ? Why on earth have management scheduled these events in during half term when they know 3 teachers are off?

We have a staff Facebook chat and certain members of staff ( not managers $ keep tagging the teachers ,
Asking - are you attending ?We need to know !
Can we expect your presence ?
Will you be coming ?
I believe they are doing this publicly to try and shame us into coming . Then also enjoying making rude comments if we say no.

When a teacher has said they can’t make it as they have a holiday booked other members mad extremely sarcastic comments questioning the teachers commitment.

I know one teacher has flatly refused to attend any events during the holidays and doesn’t care what people think of her not attending.
I feel torn . It is a toxic environment and I do feel I’m too scared to not attend as I know that many of the staff will be bitchy and make my life difficult if I don’t go . I also hate ignoring the chat messages . But I’m so angry at the same time.

I am tempted to speak to The Manager and say I feel confused as to why events are arranged for half term . Also , why are staff demanding on a group chat to know if we are attending. It feels like peer pressure / bully tactics .

Surely a holiday is a holiday ??

Without sounding rude it is a lot of junior members of staff who are the rudest . I am at my wits end with it . I have said I will go to one of the events as I felt my team would go mad if I didn’t . This is mid week and will eat up a day of my holiday and mean I have to send my children to day care . My husband is so cross I am going in during my holiday again.

AIBU?
I honestly am confused .

I’m annoyed I feel bullied by bitchy 22 year olds who have no children and are demanding to know about what I am doing ! The place is toxic and I feel the bullying environment should be addressed.

Just say no. You're on leave. Respect yourself and expect others to respect you and your role.

In the nicest possible way you need to toughen up. It's none of their business but you could be skiing in Italy for all they know, you are on holiday. The end.

What does your contract say?
will you get paid if you go in?

‘I am tempted to speak to the manager’ - why don’t you?
politely explain you have plans for your annual leave and as such are unavailable

disengage from any work watsapp group or similar. Draw a clear boundary between work and home.

Tell them you’ll be in The Maldives.

You need to just make it a norm that you won’t go, they will quickly get used to it.

I would only go in during holidays if something very urgent came up and I was available. You aren’t available because you have children to look after. Tell them you won’t be in and try not to feel guilty about it. You are entitled to days off.

Are they following Burgandy book or are you on a separate contract?

if Burgandy Book, you cannot be directed to complete activities such as this outside of term time. Politely decline and point them towards your contract.

That is horrible, especially the bullying messages on social media, I’m really sorry you’re experiencing this.

If you attend these events are you given time off in lieu? If not I think (and I’m no expert) that might be a breach of working regulations. I know if an employer wants to cancel your leave they need to give you as much notice as the amount of leave requested, but as this seems mandatory leave I’m not sure how this applies.

Do you belong to a union? If not I think your next best point of advice is ACAS.

Don’t attend work during your holidays and don’t look at work Facebook posts or answer work questions on Facebook. Ignore ignore ignore. Look for another job

If you're being paid £££ then I would consider going in on your holiday (if you're available, I wouldn't be flying back from the Maldives for it)
You could offer to come in for your usual rate + inconvenience pay (which would cover your childcare -but your children would still miss out on a day with you)
If not, they can ask, you can say no.
If you feel like it you can remind the junior members of staff that taking a break and respecting each other's time off is a crucial aspect of a healthy work-life balance. And encourage them to make the most of their paid time off, and set an example by taking yours!

(And if you're on minimum wage, making you do unpaid work will bring you under minimum wage and your employer will be breaking the law.)

You're visiting your Aunt at the other end of the country and can't pop back for a couple of hours !

You say no. The more of you that say no the easier for everyone to say no.
they shouldn’t be planning these events in your holiday.

You say no. Then when you go back you take the Facebook posts in with you and make a formal complaint

the manager needs to explain to the practitioners how it works.

I Don’t have a typical teachers contract -
if I am sick I get statutory sick pay after 3 days. So when I had flu for a week I lost a weeks wages - apart from £60 sick pay. . Previously when working in a school I was never not paid when sick.
So I begrudge going in to extra events unpaid as they will not pay me if I am off .

Also it’s the cheek of management that they keep arranging events during half term !?

I want to explain to them it causes such tension with other members of staff who then accuse teachers of not caring about the nursery. I’d love to see them come in on their day off .

The Public Chat group is also bloody toxic. The main manager is isn’t on it but the deputy managers are and they know it is nasty. But the whole place is a toxic environment!!!!

I have decided to hand my notice in so I just need to make it to July !!!!!!!!

You say no and to the sarcastic comments you reply.. I don't know if you realise but that came across as rather sarcastic. Its so hard with text isn't it. I'm sure you didn't intend it that way smile face.. if they dare to comment to your face ask them. "You want me to attend during my holiday? Will you be attending work doing yours?

It's hard to begin with but it gets easier and they get used to it.

Just saw you are handing your notice in. Good luck going forward the only way is up.

Boundaries!
I wouldn't do it!
When I get back from work I'd turn my work phone off and that would be it until the next time I'm in work.
As soon as it came up I would have said no sorry we're away that week. Then they wouldn't keep asking. I do b0ok a lot of holidays so would most likely already have something booked.
Any other job they wouldn't expect you to go in. I think the 3 of you need to stand your ground and not go to these events. Its managements shit organising, not your problem. They know term dates in advance. Turn off the chat, ignore messages. Leave the group if you have to. You're on holiday and have 3 children to take care off.

Politely refuse and spend the week polishing up your CV because this is a batshit crazy place to work where they're bullying staff on certain contracts.

It is daft to have parental events during school holidays in nursery as many families will have older children at school will be away/doing other stuff/struggling for childcare for their older kids. This feels really pointed and not very nice, I wouldn't want my DC in that environment.

You need to put the junior staff back in their boxes!!

I see you've decided to hand in your notice. That's a sensible move. Plenty of vacancies, you'll find another job soon enough.

the system though, sounds like it's inviting this kind of thing. I've never heard of a nursery have staff on different types of contracts. I'm not surprised the others are unhappy with the inequity.

@WhoNeedsSleepNotISaidMyBody The nursery receives funding for qualified teachers . I think this is to raise the quality of education. The issue is that it causes a rift . I am sorry extremely down to earth . I feel I take shit and I am a walk over at times .

The issue is some of the practitioners hate we are paid 3 times as much as them and get all holiday off - which I guess I can understand!! They work bloody hard .

But we have a lot more responsibility and we are expressing to work at home and during weekends .

Don't go in, and come off or silence the FB group. If the management have not specifically asked you to go in, you don't owe anyone an explanation.
If they have asked you to do so, explain to them that you are on leave and therefore won't be attending. No detail is necessary.
Don't open any work communications outside working hours.
If you feel you are being bullied by the other staff because you take the leave you are entitled to, put in a formal grievance.
You are not being treated like a teacher if you don't get proper sick pay, and if you handed in notice now you could leave at Easter, and arguably sooner. Check your contract, and consider how/ if they will enforce it if you leave earlier because you have been bullied.
Make sure you complain about the bullying in writing asap, asking them to deal with it. Keep all your communications in writing, so you have a record.

Are you not a member of a union? If not and if you can join one, do it and encourage others in the workplace to do the same.
All you need to say is: ‘No I won’t be in next week, as per my contract of employment you know I am on holiday. If you wish to arrange any of these activities during my working time I would of course as always be more than happy to attend and assist. Could I suggest in future you consider moving these events to when the teaching staff are in work? I am happy to liaise with you to avoid future clashes.’ Don’t engage in any other discussion. Put that message on the public WhatsApp group. Don’t have any one to one chats or any chats with management about this issue ever. Make sure everything is in writing.
Management know their policy causes division, you don’t need to mention it. It’s not relevant to why you will not be coming in when you are on holiday. Management aren’t stupid. They are trying to exploit you. They are trying to guilt you in to coming in. No, you are absolutely right, they wouldn’t come in on their days off. Again it’s not relevant because the only relevant thing here is you will be on holiday under the terms of your contract.
If other staff want to be treated as teachers then they should qualify as teachers. Otherwise, despite their great work and dedication, it’s comparing apples and pears. You don’t have to feel guilty.
Oh and again join a union.
Also I say this kindly you need to work on your confidence. You are a qualified teacher. You don’t give up your contractual holidays for any reason and certainly not on the whim of your employer. These are not essential activities necessary to the business. They can easily take place without your participation or at a time you are in work.

Messages like this aren’t for facebook
What a bizarre thing to do

You are a teacher
You have different holidays from other staff members
Other staff wouldn’t be expected to go into work during their booked holidays , so why would you

Id put that in an email, make it official and in writing.

Do not go in for anything on your days off. That’s inappropriate and disrespectful for them to ask.

leave or mute the chat.