To make DH quit?

[findmeajob]

Clickbaity title for traffic, sorry!
I’m currently on Mat leave and go back in a few months. Have two DC. One in school and baby will be going to nursery/family. Have been trying for past year (since they started) to secure wrap around care for DC in school. Nothing available and apparently 2yr waiting list for ASC. We genuinely do not know how to cover this. Now family cannot care for the baby 2 days a week so he will have to go to nursery 4 days a week. Nursery have okayed this today so we’re back to just a few days a week of pick ups being an issue.
We just don’t know what to do? Should one of us just quit? We already had childcare issues before the new problem with the baby. Both jobs are incredibly inflexible with no chance of WFH. My job is more of a career than DH’s but he earns slightly more than me currently (for his 5days vs. my 4days) and he has a lot of overtime potential.

What do we do? Does he quit? Do I? Is there some magic childcare solution we haven’t yet thought of?
P.S. the money for the childcare is not an issue, we’ll throw money at the problem to find a solution, within reason obviously.
P.P.S. just needing to rant and have others sympathise with me about how hard it is to find childcare 😓

Which of you has a better chance of finding alternative (more flexible) employment? Have you both explored this?

Can you bother look for more flexible / more WFH jobs? Rather than quit entirely

Quit. Start up your own before and afterschool wraparound and be minted!!

seriously though, that's tough. How many days a week is it and what times? Can you ask at the local college for anyone doing childcare courses are interested? (Assuming school-home is walkable). Assuming also there is no childminder/day nursery who can do it? Around here a few day nursery's pick up and offer afterschool clubs.

Ask local council for childminders?

If money not a problem maybe price up a nanny , by the time you've paid 4 days nursery fees might be worth it and they could do pick ups too

Do you have a private school close OP?

I am more likely to find a more flexible job but not one that pays as well/has as good career prospects. I work in a school so if I leave, we’ll need to cover school holidays so will need to make more to cover that.
DH however can be more flexible and take on any job to make ends meet and will happily do this. But he is well paid now and there is nothing that matches his salary

Have considered training as childminder as there is a serious need for it at our school. The local college is a good shout, thank you!

Have you checked for childminders? Posted on the local Facebook group asking if anyone childminds/babysits?

Any childminders/babysitters/ other school parents to swap pick ups with?

Would DH’s job invent some flexibility or shorter hours if he waved a resignation letter at them?

Can one of you look for a more flexible or shorter hours job?

Can you live on lower incomings if he is out of a job for a bit?

I absolutely empathise - we are having to work our careers around the fact that our child’s otherwise fabulous school doesn’t have any wrap around care available.

I have contacted every childminder in our local area that serves our school. They all have very very long waiting lists. There are many parents at the school who are in the same situation.

Is your child at your school?

what kind of area do you live in?
do you have room for live in nanny?

Nanny share? If there are other families in the same situation someone may want to share with you?

DH’s job has already been very accommodating in the request he has already made. He is going to be starting at 10.30 everyday instead of his current 7am. He cannot leave at 2pm to collect her up as well.
the problem is both jobs are just soooo inflexible. One of us needs to quit but there’s pros and cons to each of us quitting - and then finding something else.

Neither of you should quit. It would be far better for you both to drop hours/days. They legally must at least consider this, and if they say no, they need to tell you why, and you can appeal it. Are either of you in a union?

My child is not at my school. My school is 1hr away - this will change from September though and will be much closer. Although will still not be same school. And no, they can’t go to my current or my new school either as they are in the best local school and I don’t want to disrupt them.

Sorry, and no, no room for a live-in nanny.
we’re happy to pay over the odds for a few afternoons a week but I don’t think we can afford a nanny salary? Think we may need to look at this though.

We had similar issues - local childminders inflexible and not conveniently located - and bit the bullet to hire a nanny. She has her own child, just a bit younger than our DC2, who comes with her 2 days per week. We probably pay slightly less than we would for someone without DC and DC2 has a fantastic time with his little friend. Everyone wins. It helps that we both mostly WFH and only need our nanny between 9 and 5. DH works 4 days per week and has DC on Friday, I work full time. It's a significant expense for us but worth having reliable l, high quality childcare with minimal stress.

Is it just the school pick up that's tricky, or nursery too? Now this was the 80s so things like safeguarding hadn't been invented, but my parents solution to a similar problem was a (very reputable) taxi that collected me every day from my school and took me to my mum's school. 95% of the time it was the same driver and the other 5% usually only one other driver.
I'd then hang there reading or doing homework until she was ready to leave. Is anything like that remotely an option?

I am in a union. I however did already make a flexible working request about a month ago which was denied (for good reason, I wouldn’t have grounds to appeal I don’t think) so cannot make another for 12months.
plus if I appealed the request that was denied, that wouldn’t help our current situation because of how things have changed in the last month.
DH is not in a union.

I assume your family can't help even if you pay them?
I'd look at nanny for the problematic days. Your youngest would not go to nursery on those days so that cost would be reduced.

Approach the school see if they can set up wraparound care

Any mum friends who can help in a rotation at all?
I assume you are on every waiting list going?
I think nanny share might be your option here. Can't hurt to enquire. Quitting will leave you financially worse off and playing catch up. Nanny is a max of two years based on afterschool current waiting list.

Neither of you should quit. Honestly, I’ll change your child’s school before considering one of quitting because of wrap around care. My child is in a good school with lots of after school club spaces but there’s always a 2 year waiting list for breakfast club. However when we moved almost 4 years ago when she was in year 1, the 2 good schools close to us have no space in the wrap around care and the childminders are all full.
Even though we have to drive almost 20 minutes daily to her former school, we have kept her there because we need the wrap around care.

Can you apply for a different flexible working request? Feel free to message me if you prefer - I just did a flexible working request and I work in a school too. I can maybe give more specific advice.

Could your husband drop his hours and do a flexible working request, and could he join a union before doing so?