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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Free Childcare

204 replies

viviswicked · 10/02/2023 16:18

Mulling over a comment on another thread regarding WFH and thought I would see how forthcoming people would be on an anonymous forum...

Those who are working from home has this been the opportunity to now have 'free childcare' no wraparound, no childminder etc needed as you are now always in the home.

Full disclosure this does not directly affect me due to children being older, I work hybrid and it's entirely up to me when and if I go into the office. My direct team do not have young children but I am part of a large organisation, many of the staff do have children and are not using childcare.

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 10/02/2023 17:59

No. My dd is a teenager now. I have wfh since I returned to work after maternity leave. I used to get in the car, drive her to childcare, and come home to work.

lanthanum · 10/02/2023 18:00

With kids of about 8+, then it seems quite reasonable to do a couple of hours work after school while they entertain themselves, especially if it's not every day. Unfortunately it may depend a bit on the kids - if they're the sort that will fall out with each other every 10 minutes, it won't work, so I can see why some companies may want to set an older minimum. And I think school holidays are a different matter - a couple of hours after school is fine, but expecting them to entertain themselves for the whole day is unreasonable.

Testng123 · 10/02/2023 18:01

Ime people only have older kids at home for e.g. 2 hours during the working day. Younger kids are minded by someone else, in the home or elsewhere.

JustABloodyMinute · 10/02/2023 18:04

Wouldn't get my work done (lockdown was hellish) so continue to pay for wraparound care.

hopelessatthinkingupusernames · 10/02/2023 18:04

It has saved us a lot on breakfast clubs - I can walk DS to school and be home in time to start at 9am, whereas if we were in the office I’d have had to drop him off at breakfast club around 7.30!

redskydelight · 10/02/2023 18:04

Chickenly · 10/02/2023 16:24

No. And frankly getting bloody sick of the posters on mumsnet who seem to think that WFH means not actually doing any work.

Perhaps they are the posters who observe that their colleagues are strangely unavailable for large chunks of the day?

Or are still "working on" a task that should have taken 3 hours about a week later.

mybunniesandme · 10/02/2023 18:05

I have 2 year old twins

My contract specifically states WFH cannot be used in place of childcare. I'd likely have a disciplinary and WFH privileges revoked for me and colleagues

It's not fair on the children TBH or your colleagues without children who are putting in a full undistracted shift

I think it takes the piss actually to do it without employer approval. If my kids are sick and have to be home while I work I always let boss know and put in additional hours

EezyOozy · 10/02/2023 18:05

I’ve two small children and I can’t leave them unsupervised for long enough to go to the loo sometimes …. Absolutely no chance I could work and look after them!

SittingNextToIt · 10/02/2023 18:08
  1. depends what the parameters of the role are.
  2. IF the role doesn’t really depend on clocking hours but getting X amount of work done/Y number or meetings attended - THEN - nipping out and picking up older kids - and leaving them by themselves as you work in your study is okay.
  3. under no circs is having a baby toddler or younger kid while you WFH okay.
lozrox90 · 10/02/2023 18:11

I WFH, only going into the office once a fortnight, and could absolutely not do my job with my children at home. My job takes a lot of concentration and I often need to join Teams meetings and actively participate. My kids at home would be too huge a distraction!

WFHbore2023 · 10/02/2023 18:12

I've had my children here whilst I've worked.

My immediate boss doesn't mind.

I wouldn't be my default choice, but if I couldn't find childcare for the full day I'd have them here with me for at least part of it.

If she did have an issue with it I'd probably point out that it was absolutely fine to have them here every work day during lockdown (furlough not an option for me) when it suited them, so I'm unsure of why it wouldn't work now

ExistenceOptional · 10/02/2023 18:14

Yes. But they do not need childcare. They are teenagers but I used to work part time as I did not like leaving them in the house alone for long periods of time. I rarely see them when working, but wfh means I am in the house if there are any issues. Everyone I know in my workplace who wfh with kids present has older kids who are really too old for childcare, but parents do not want to leave them at home alone for long periods of time.

VioletaDelValle · 10/02/2023 18:15

No. If has been made clear that I should have childcare in place when I WFH.
It does allow me more flexibility and the occasional time without childcare is okay but not a permanent solution.

PotKettel · 10/02/2023 18:16

I genuinely don’t understand how anyone can wfh with a young child around. I have attempted one or two days when dc was sent home from nursery sick and I just could not take a half day holiday at zero notice. And it is SO stressful trying to work and look after kids.

I do however appreciate being able to wfh while my dc at secondary school have school holiday or inset days. Primary school kids have to go to GP, a friend or a holiday club.

Threads like this make me worry my colleagues are taking the mickey.

Justalittlebitduckling · 10/02/2023 18:18

I would do literally no work if my child was home. He would cry or bang the keyboard of my computer. I work from my home office quite a lot but he is out at paid childcare. The thing WFH does save is the commute, as childcare is very local, so more hours in the day. I do run the washing machine and make a slow cooker meal or do evening meal prep during my lunch break which obviously I couldn’t do at an office.

LimeCheesecake · 10/02/2023 18:20

DH now wfh - we currently still pay for before school care the 3 days I work as dh has to be on a call at 8:30 most days, then we pay for after school 2 days a week, the 3rd dh takes his half hour of his lunch break at 3 to collect dc2, but she’s 9 so able to entertain herself until he finishes / I get home. From September, she’s going to walk to/from school by herself, and we won’t pay anymore. We would’ve be happy she’d get herself out of the house on time, but as he’s here to do that, then we will be letting her walk before we’d have let dc1. Also let her walk home as at least there will be someone here when she arrives.

MajorCarolDanvers · 10/02/2023 18:21

Apart from lockdown I have never come across anyone (in real life) attempting to work and care for a young child at the same time. My colleagues are all professionals. It just wouldn't happen.

We no longer pay for after school club but my youngest is 10. She has zero impact on the last hour of my working day. If children are younger its a different ball game and my workplace would not find it acceptable.

OsirisservesAnubis · 10/02/2023 18:22

No. Absolutely not. And it's not acceptable in my workplace. We occasionally get people chancing it and if we suspect it then we have a habit of finding emergency duty visits for them to go out on (social work team).

I have 2 young kids, 1 school nursery age, 1 in year 1 so I know how expensive wrap around care can be but if I'm WFH, I'm logged on and working and I can't do that effectively with 2 kids running around.

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 10/02/2023 18:23

DD is 8, me and DH both WFH, DH has an agreement with work that he can cut his lunches short to pick her up, she comes home has a snack and entertains herself for an hour till he finishes work. I finish later.

She was 5 when lockdown happened and it was abundantly clear that 5 yr olds cannot entertain themselves for more than a few minutes and neither DH or I could work well with a 5yr old around. Luckily work we're willing to be flexible due to it being a pandemic and limited options so we basically worked in 2 Hr shifts, swapping out throughout the day, starting early and finishing late. It was hell.

I think it's completely possible to WFH with an older kid though, DD is really good at keeping the noise down and just happily pottering about for 45 mins.

MajorCarolDanvers · 10/02/2023 18:24

redskydelight · 10/02/2023 18:04

Perhaps they are the posters who observe that their colleagues are strangely unavailable for large chunks of the day?

Or are still "working on" a task that should have taken 3 hours about a week later.

Show quote history

That's a failure of a manager to adequately monitor performance.

Its got feck all to do with everyone else in the world who wfh.

RealBecca · 10/02/2023 18:26

If a child needs supervising then no. Older kids that can get on with homework or read, fine.

Yung children especially deserve the full attention of an adult supervising them.

GenuinelyDone · 10/02/2023 18:26

My youngest is 10 so whilst I wouldn't be happy for her to be alone at home, she is perfectly fine sorting out her own lunch/snacks then entertaining herself when I'm working from home.

It's not a secret, she's popped her head onto calls with colleagues to say hi when asked about. My productivity is above average for our role and none of the senior team have an issue with her being at home with me.

However, I wouldn't attempt it if she was younger. Lockdown was fucking impossible and she was only 3 years younger. Nobody had a choice then and it demonstrated how much attention my daughter needed even though I thought she was quite chill. My productivity definitely faltered then, but I wasn't along. Some colleagues had proper toddlers to try and work around.

LimeCheesecake · 10/02/2023 18:28

Basically - it works brilliantly from year 4 up, possibly end of year 3 - if your child is happy to play on the switch or watch tv for an hour or so after school and if your job is such that you could take a break at 830-9 then 3:10-3:40 ish and you live close to the school.

MinnieMountain · 10/02/2023 18:30

When I asked to work an extra afternoon, HR quite rightly asked what the childcare would be for our 9yo.

Mark19735 · 10/02/2023 18:30

Isn't it funny how a supervisor in a workplace setting can supervise teams of three, five, ten people simultaneously and do their job ... but a parent WFH can't be trusted to supervise their one, two, maybe three children and do theirs?

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