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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Free Childcare

204 replies

viviswicked · 10/02/2023 16:18

Mulling over a comment on another thread regarding WFH and thought I would see how forthcoming people would be on an anonymous forum...

Those who are working from home has this been the opportunity to now have 'free childcare' no wraparound, no childminder etc needed as you are now always in the home.

Full disclosure this does not directly affect me due to children being older, I work hybrid and it's entirely up to me when and if I go into the office. My direct team do not have young children but I am part of a large organisation, many of the staff do have children and are not using childcare.

OP posts:
Fedupfatandfrumpy · 10/02/2023 16:40

With my 11 year old it often meant I had free childcare as I'd give him lunch whilst on my lunch break and simply supervise him the rest of the time but now with youngers it's clubs, nursery etc.

DisforDarkChocolate · 10/02/2023 16:41

I think this only works when the children are largely self-sufficient. You may have to take time out to pick them up but once home they look after themselves till you finish.

Iwasntgettingasandwich · 10/02/2023 16:42

No. My dc are 8 and 5 and I've done it a handful of times since bloody home lessons stopped. For a couple of hours in the morning until they went to my mums and about three times when I have had to pick one up from school ill and that was only because I had very simple work to do, anything requiring concentration I have to rope in my mum or take a days leave. My manager (in the Civil Service so plenty of flexibility) would take a very dim view on it. And you can't work properly!

I had to call someone today and there was a child in the background, it is just unprofessional.

Iwasntgettingasandwich · 10/02/2023 16:43

I use the before and after school clubs so I can work my hours too. When I WFH it is not free childcare.

Pootles34 · 10/02/2023 16:44

I've saved a bit on pre-school childcare as I can just drop him at school myself now but no, I definitely don't want to go back to lockdown world of trying to work and look after a small child! Jesus no amount of money could make me go back there.

DashboardConfessional · 10/02/2023 16:45

No. If DS is ill, we have to take half a day off each. DH can't WFH with a 4 year old and wouldn't be able to manage him 3-5 when he starts reception, so I'm going to have to work 9 to 3.

notsurewherenotsurewhy · 10/02/2023 16:49

Single parent to 11 and 5 yo. I wfh 3 days a week (office 2 days) and still use a childminder for both. 11yo brings himself home alone perfectly happily on my office days, but on my wfh days she actually can't manage - I'm there and she wants me to be available, listen to her day etc. But I need to focus on my work and ignore her!

I think I will need to switch to at least 3 office days when she starts secondary school this year, or hope she wants to join various clubs at school, as she'll be too big for the cm really but I cannot have a (big!) child at home expecting me to be available to them for so long before my work is finished. I realise not all children her age are like this though.

Ridingfree · 10/02/2023 16:49

WFH has saved us childcare costs in that I can do the school run. After school clubs no longer needed as I can collect DD and she will happily play/watch tv / draw etc until I finish work. So yes it has saved us needing wraparound

No it would never have saved nursery feeds. I need to work and do my job and I'd understand an employer not wanting kids home during the day

Occasionally on the odd day in school holidays now she's older but not at all as a younger child

Coffeaddict · 10/02/2023 16:50

Massively depends on age of the kids DSS is 10 and he could definitely entertain himself for a couple hours after school rather then go to after school club.

DS is 3 and there is no chance I could do any sort of work with him around.

My youngest is only 3 months and sleeps alot so I have done my KIT with him but I don't have a full workload and my job is incredibly flexible so there is no problem with this

Calphurnia88 · 10/02/2023 16:51

At my workplace it was not allowed but covid blurred the lines.

As far as I am aware, it's still not allowed but some people are doing it covertly (not as well as they think though, obviously).

As someone who will be paying for full time childcare when I return to work I think this is grossly unfair.

starofwonder · 10/02/2023 16:52

I don't use it for free childcare but when my kids were younger it did save me money as they only went to childminder til 5.15 (five mins up the road) when wfh rather than til 6.30 on the days I needed to pick them up after commute home.

Now they are old enough to walk home from school solo so they let themselves in and loaf around watching tv or doing homework until I finish and come down. They do the same on days I'm in the office too though.

WednesdaysMentor · 10/02/2023 16:52

I work from home 2 days a week and i dont use childcare, i am also lucky that i leave the office early, pick her up from school and then carry on working when i get back in, but DD is nearly 11 and very self sufficient, she knows not to disturb me when i am working unless it is urgent or an emergency (never had one). During the school holidays my mum has her when i am in the office but i have her at home when i am at home also as again she is no bother.

I looked after my niece who was 2 last year for an afternoon as my SIL had a hospital appointment, it nearly drove me round the bend, i couldnt get any work done and she was constantly asking me questions, putting the tv on loud etc, no way could i work at home with a toddler, its impossible.

Scooby5kids · 10/02/2023 16:53

You can only really give one your full attention though can't you? And if you're giving 50/50 then you're not really being very efficient at either role. Perhaps with some jobs from home, if pay was worked out as a salary for home much work you got done and not strictly by the hour and you had all week to decide when it got done, it might be workable. It depends what it was though, because you couldn't really be taking calls or anything that involved availability.

sajwba · 10/02/2023 16:55

My partner worked from home long before the pandemic started, I do occasional bits working from home. Both kids are in school, wrap around / nursery full time regardless. If you're working at home with a young child there you aren't properly working.

Nottodaty · 10/02/2023 16:57

Nope as soon as the reopened Breakfast & afterschool club we used it. Same with the holiday clubs - I need to work not neglect my child during the day - she was bored & we all struggled during covid. Yes it cost us money but we couldn’t do work and properly look after our children giving the attention needed.

It is annoying that we now can only have meeting 9:30 to 12 and 1-2:30 - as people are nipping out to do the school run & having (rightfully) there lunch break. My worry is we could loose the flexibility that has taken so long to finally get :(

My youngest is now in year 8 so we now no longer need it - but I do wish there was something for the long summer holidays for that age group far too much screen time in my house!

mynameiscalypso · 10/02/2023 17:01

Not in my team - a few of us have children aged between 3.5 and 9 and we all always either have childcare in place or take time off/formally changed our working hours. Our employer is very flexible but none of us take the piss.

TheGoogleMum · 10/02/2023 17:01

No way could I work while looking after my daughter. Maybe with older kids when just having an adult in the house is enough but then you don't need childcare so much then anyway.

Mark19735 · 10/02/2023 17:06

It's really not controversial. When I was WFH, everyone acknowledged that doing so saved a fortune on commuting costs. Nobody expected that 'dead' time to accrue to the employer ... I just got used to rolling out of bed at 08:50, and logged on by 09:00.

Likewise, I didn't enrol the kids into before- and after- school clubs either. Initially, because they were closed during Covid, but when the in person / WFH balance changed in our office (hopefully permanently) it was one of the tacit benefits that we all acknowledged that our costs were lower as a result of this.

gwenneh · 10/02/2023 17:06

To an extent, yes. We've stopped using wraparound care as our older DC are reasonably self-sufficient and can come straight home after school, get their own snacks, and entertain themselves for an hour. Wraparound care at the school closed, so few people were using it.

We didn't put our youngest in nursery until I went back to the office full time.

Both DH and I have roles that are reasonably asynchronous and don't involve excessive meetings. They're not client-facing roles, and we're both measured by outcome, not time spent.

SomeCommonThing · 10/02/2023 17:09

Yes. However, and I stress this very heavily, I have one child who is 10 and independent.
My manager is also aware of this arrangement, and has stated that it is fine as he is older, it would not be fine if he was a toddler.

I arrange my work calender around needing to be home for DS and around when my husband is home or not.

Jimboscott0115 · 10/02/2023 17:09

Thingsthatgo · 10/02/2023 16:26

My DH works from home, and it means that DCs age 8 and 10 can be at home instead of after school club. They don't need looking after, but they do need an adult at home.

Exactly this OP. For avoiding after school club when they're a bit older I think it's fine and I do the school run 3 times a week this way as when I get back I can join my meetings and let them have the run of the rest of the house.

Younger kids? No way, that's simply pisstaking.

maddiemookins16mum · 10/02/2023 17:11

Course it is (for some).
Two examples of my colleagues.
’Janine’ - DC aged 5 and 8. Drop at School at 8.45 (back at desk for 9am (it’s a rush but just manages it). Takes lunch 2.30-3.30pm (doesn’t really affect anything we do so not a problem. Kids watch telly or play, no real issues with them apart from the occasional interruption but never really cause an issue. They used to go to before and

’Melinda’ 19 month old. Took child out of Nursery in April last year. Has her home with her all day. Blatantly lies when she says she’s at a CM two doors down. Joins Teams meetings without camera or mike on. All kinds of excuses why she not online. If she’s caught out, just says she had to pick her up early or she’s unwell etc.

HR are now involved but it’s turning into a case of her word against theirs.

Lcb123 · 10/02/2023 17:11

I don’t have kids but I have plenty of colleagues who will use our works flexibility to do school pick then finish their work day from home. But more older primary or secondary so kids can look after themselves. I still don’t think you can WFH all day with a small kid not fair on them or your employer

ACynicalDad · 10/02/2023 17:12

I work from home, I have 30 mins blocked in my diary for collection from school each day, I give them a bite and leave them to it. My wife is home from about 5 and does dinner. They watch too much TV. They will be at home next week, I'll take a day off, take them swimming during a long lunch. I often work into the evening. They get more than their hours, my kids get a relaxed childhood, I have more cash at the end of the month, I plan to stay working here long term, I don't think there is a loser in this.

Theresahippopotamusonourroofeatingcake · 10/02/2023 17:13

I don't WFH but my DH does. Children are 9 and 11, it means that they don't have to use breakfast or after school clubs. It doesn't affect DH's work as he can still start before 9am and the kids can make themselves a snack and get on with whatever until 5.30pm. They wouldn't be old enough to do this if the house was empty (possibly the 11 year old would). It has made all of our lives so much less fraught and I really hope it carries on this wayS