To not want DH constantly asking when I’m going out?

[Threeyearslater]

DH WFH some of the week. I have a baby and toddler.

We do actually get out a fair bit, go to a class every morning and walk in the afternoon if the weather is OK. If not we might do soft play or library.

So DH is constantly asking when I’m going out. This morning our class doesn’t start until 11, so didn’t have to leave until in about ten mins. I’ve been asked 3 times if I’m still here, is the class cancelled, when I’m going.

I think he is just making conversation but it’s starting to annoy me and make me feel like I’m being sent out of the house. AIBU?

This was my first thought! 😆

I would go out and sneak back in 5 minutes later to see what he's up to, my moneys on a quick wank 😂

Sound exactly like my situation. I’m no longer on maternity but even now when I’m off ( I work 3 days ) DH asks me - what are you up to ? Will you be going out soon? It’s so lovely out!
I always walk for 2 hours with the baby ! When I’m not Looking after the baby I’m at work. I feel exhausted and I want to scream I can’t be out all day !!!!! Yes we will have a coffee and a walk and be out 3 hours but I’m tired and I want to be in my house . Please stop making me feel like some lazy SLOB when I am working , looking after the baby, shopping and running the house - oh and am pregnant!! Lord !!!!!!!

I get it’s hard when people have meetings and babies make noise etc but if you work from home you can’t expect no one else to be in the house .
it is a house - not an office .
We are currently having a home office built so DH can go away and leave me to my house !! But I know he will still keep coming in and asking me - what are you up to ? It’s
lovely day for a walk !!!!!!!

I don’t believe this ! I think the noise of a baby / toddler in a small house just really irrates some people and distracts them . Plus I think some people can’t help but feel irritated knowing someone else is in the house ‘not working ‘ !!! Yet this person is actually looking after the baby , cleaning and doing all the chores ( often on their day off !)

@Ohhhhhlalala that gave me such rage! Please don't allow him to treat you like this, that's appalling that you feel you should be out for three hours when you work three days, have a toddler and are pregnant! You do what works for you on your days off and if that means slobbing about at home regardless of how lovely a day it is, you do it!

Suggest he goes and works in starbucks for a change of scenery.
When I worked from home I was upstairs 9n the top floor so not in anyones way.
Sounds like hard work going out everyday...does he have them all weekend so you can get a break!?

Tell him that wfh obviously isn’t suiting him so he should find somewhere else to work. It’s your home not an office, and if your presence disturbs him then it’s him who needs to go elsewhere.

My DH teaches/ attends karate 3 times a week. I always ask him what time he’s leaving and what time he will be back as to be honest I have enough issues keeping my own schedule in my head never mind his!
His way of stopping me asking was a white board week planner with all the timings on it for me to refer to 😂. Also we are teachers so great for knowing who has twighlight/ parents evening etc.
Maybe something like this could help though where you write classes and times. When he asks refer him to the board, he’ll soon stop asking and just check.
He thinks I’m asking because I don’t want to be left alone (maybe kind of true, 9 months pregnant and have a 2 year old to get to bed etc). But I mainly just want to know so I know if I’m doing bedtime and when we can eat etc.

Well done, OP for putting ‘bring money in’ in inverted commas. A well deserved dig at the poster who says he needs a quiet place ‘to do his job properly’ and ‘ bring money in’ - sounds very old fashioned and judgmental. 1950s even 😊

Must admit, it’s a bit bananas how many think he wants to watch pornography or masturbate - it wasn’t even 10am when I posted! I know there’s no time like the present but really …

In fairness I also mooted morris dancing and AmDram...

Id be annoyed too its your home whys he so eager to clear you off all the time? If he cant handle kids he should've opted to work in an office space somewhere instead away from home

Just say ' look, don't worry about what I'm doing during the day when you're supposed to be working. Shut the door and pretend I don't exist until 5pm. I mean it'

That's the agreement me and DH have. If someone is WFH then they go in the office and stay there unless they're having a coffee break or lunch. Parent with the DC doesn't disrupt them and person WFH doesn't pester the parent with DC

That’s well and good but then surely they come out for food/drinks/toilet? Even when DH uses the annex I can sense his presence and I’m sure he can sense mine. I’ve never been one of these people who can shut the door and forget he exists!

Threeyearslater
If I'm downstairs with DC then DH uses the bathroom upstairs. If he comes for a drink then either he'll come down and get back up before we've noticed if we aren't in the kitchen, or he says hi briefly and then tells DC that daddy's going back up to work.
It's not that we forget each other exist or blank each other, more that when one of us is working it's a boundary we've chosen to set and we can't be telling DC to respect the boundary if we're bugging each other every 10 minutes.

This is mumsnet. He’s waiting to have his other woman round

It’s not a gender-specific issue - I know of a few where the woman is WFH and the same is expected of the man.

Your point is valid, but a little sexist IMO

Mumsnet is very dramatic (said with love) 😂 I’m surprised most of the responses don’t say LTB!