To ask which is better- studying locally or moving away for university

Twizbe · 10/02/2023 09:45

On the whole it's better to move away. My brother went to our local university but still went to live in college. Tbf he didn't have a choice to stay home, but I think it would have been the right choice anyway.

I'm aware though it's not always possible though. My own children might have this dilemma as we live in London. If they choose London universities I think it would be a hard case to make to move into halls (I have a feeling they get a lower loan as well if you live in London and pick a London uni)

LeoTimmyandVi · 10/02/2023 09:47

I am experiencing this now with my DD. When I went to Uni many moons ago I was desperate to move away and enjoy student life. My daughter however is a home bird, non drinking and not one for socialising (I wonder about the impact of COVID on this though!)

The course she wants to do is very oversubscribed so we had a chat about whether she wanted to stay at home or do the course more and therefore have to explore other unis away from her home town. The drive to do the course won and she has applied for 5 unis within a 90 min driving radius and has had two interviews so far. So we’ll see where she ends up.

I think students these days are more tuned in to cost as well and loans to culver accommodation etc. So living at home can be more practical and cost effective too I guess.

EVHead · 10/02/2023 09:49

I moved out although I went to my nearest uni. Best thing I ever did - I grew up so much in the first two years. I gained a lot of confidence by having to stand on my own two feet.

Riverlee · 10/02/2023 09:49

Depends on the child.

Moving away to uni makes them grow up and mature quicker. They become more independent, having to fend for themselves, manage money, food etc. Also, they experience living in a new place and expanding their experiences.

Living at home means they probably rely on their parents longer to provide food, wash clothes etc. However, some people aren’t ready to leave home at eighteen.

What does your dd want to do? Does she want ‘the full uni’ experience or to still remain at home.

nb. Some people stay at home to be with their friends, and then discover their friends have all gone away, so it’s not the same.

SleeplessInEngland · 10/02/2023 09:50

Going to uni while living at home wouldn't really feel like going to uni IMO.

BHRK · 10/02/2023 09:52

Definitely move away! University is an amazing experience, you grow into an adult pretty quickly, you make new friends, you learn to stand on your own two feet. I will definitely recommend that my kids move away

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 10/02/2023 09:53

My eldest (only year 11) will be applying to our local (excellent) university, and also another about 50mins away on the train. If she does end up going to one of these two, she has decided that she will definitely move out in the first year, commute in year three, and make up her mind about year two depending on finances/friendships/contact hours/work.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 10/02/2023 09:55

I think it totally depends on the teen and what they’ve done before.

When DS moved for Uni it was definitely the right thing. He matured massively.

DD1 it really made no difference. She was always mature and sensible. She babysat regularly from 13 and was the most calm/sensible head in a horrific accident outside the church when she was 15. She was used to managing her babysitting money, working meals around when she was working etc. She was very independent. It really didn’t change her.

DD2, in hindsight, would have been better at home for first year and then halos or a fist for second. It was too many changes all at once for her and nearly scuppered things. The fact continuing covid restrictions meant she did spend periods at home is what stopped it falling apart for her.

Oysterbabe · 10/02/2023 09:55

Moving far away for uni completely changed my life and I really think it's the best thing to do. However, when mine get to that stage it will break my heart.

Hbh17 · 10/02/2023 09:56

Definitely move away. If they are reluctant & talking about staying at home, that's probably all the more reason to push them out so that they are forced to grow up a bit. It will be the best 3 or 4 years of their life if they go away to university, & the friends they make will still be friends 40 years later (from my experience).

MRSDoos · 10/02/2023 09:56

It is 100% DD’s choice of course

I didn’t go to university so take my advice with a pinch of salt but all my friends did and I will be honest and say one of my friends chose to stay at home. Compared to my other friends she had less friends at university, less social life, less independence and less or none of the university experience. She did save money on not having to pay for an expensive university bedroom and she was able to spend time with her family more than my friends who moved away. Another pro of living at home is it’s quieter - no flat mates waking you up the night before exam

The studying part is the most important thing about university but socially she missed out on a lot. My friends who moved away for university formed close friendships especially with flat mates and were able to enjoy the whole experience of fri and sat night going out at campus whilst my friend who stayed at home was rarely invited or couldn’t get there and back. I’d say my friends who moved away did also have more independence (obviously)

Mumteedum · 10/02/2023 09:59

As a lecturer at a uni with a lot of localish students....

Pros- cheaper, family support if there are any issues like mental health, often have long term casual jobs at home to support them

Cons -
limits involvement with full experience like societies

my students are reluctant to come in for any time other than timetabled sessions which means they get less independent study/use of facilities/ less informal tutorial time etc.

Commuting can be tiring so students sometimes put less study time in

Train strikes and limited car parking

Evening lectures - I hate my young students having to finish so late then get home an hour away but it's a timetabling necessity

Zosime · 10/02/2023 10:02

DD1 it really made no difference. She was always mature and sensible.

But she'd have had the experience of living in a different place, which is also valuable.

Wednesdayonline · 10/02/2023 10:08

I went a 6/7 hour drive away for uni and I loved it. Made me much more independent, money conscious, and I made very close friendships. However, not for everyone and especially cost-wise it can be more sensible to stay at home.
I did move back near home after uni as well, so they don't always go away and stay away.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 10/02/2023 10:09

Zosime · 10/02/2023 10:02

DD1 it really made no difference. She was always mature and sensible.

But she'd have had the experience of living in a different place, which is also valuable.

The amount of time she spent away (she regularly house/pet sat for people - the summer she was 17 she was home three nice ) already made that negligible tbh.

It genuinely made no real difference to her. She enjoyed it and I’m by no means saying she should have stayed home, shes just an example of a kid who didn’t change at all, whereas for her siblings it made big changes (positive and negative)

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 10/02/2023 10:10

*three nights

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 10/02/2023 10:11

TheTurn0fTheScrew · 10/02/2023 09:53

My eldest (only year 11) will be applying to our local (excellent) university, and also another about 50mins away on the train. If she does end up going to one of these two, she has decided that she will definitely move out in the first year, commute in year three, and make up her mind about year two depending on finances/friendships/contact hours/work.

That sounds a really excellent idea!

mewkins · 10/02/2023 10:11

I did my undergraduate degree at a uni on the other side of London From where I lived (at home) and then did a Masters degree many many hours away.

It worked very well as I went to two very good universities and enjoyed both experiences. London universities were (at that point anyway) quite different from campus based unis. Most of my friends were scattered across London and came from all walks of life- plenty of mature students, some with kids, some who were from overseas. It was a good experience to be in that mix. The student halls were very small so hardly anyone got a place in them.

MissAmbrosia · 10/02/2023 10:11

Dd is a 30 min drive away but moved on to campus anyway to get the full on uni experience. Like PP said - commuting, though possible, is horrible if you have early or late lectures. She has commuting friends who crash with her frequently to get better access to the social life. She probably gets best of all worlds though - when she was really ill before xmas it was easy to go fetch her. She comes back reasonably often at the weekends to see friends, but also has gone on to make new ones in the Uni town. It's been great to see her confidence build and it's good to take responsibility for stuff - paying bills, making her own dentist appts, learning to budget and shop for herself.

butterfliedtwo · 10/02/2023 10:12

I stayed locally for uni, living on my own though. It was practical and easier. But I regret it.

Everydayitsgettingcloser · 10/02/2023 10:19

I don't know anyone who chose to study locally without substantial parental or financial pressure to.

Jota67 · 10/02/2023 11:03

I stayed at home as was best course for me.
I treated uni like a job went on train 9 til 5 every day. Attended my lectures and tutorials and did all my work in library when I had free time. This left evenings free for socialising and part time job
Met loads of friends , went to to student nights out etc but it was lovely to have security of home at the same time.
Moved out at 22 after working in graduate job for a year and saving house deposit.

I think it depends on the individual and the quality of courses available

RufustheFloralmissingreindeer · 10/02/2023 11:10

Ds1 was fairly local, about 45 minutes away, and graduated in 2021, first year halls, 2nd year a house with his hall mates, third year house with his working partner

dd did two foundation years one about an hour away and one about one and a half hours away and both times lived away.

ds2 went to a uni 30 minutes away stayed in halls, in theory, for the first year and now lives at hime and commutes. I say in theory because he did not like halls and only stayed there for about 3/4 weekends, eventually he came home friday night and went back on Monday morning

all different

Somanyquestionstoaskaboutthis · 10/02/2023 11:17

It’s very much dependent on the student. Dd1 moved away to uni and it was completely right for her. Dd2 is staying at home for her first year then will probably move into a shared house with students for the other years. She’s made this choice due to mental health, good friends locally and a well paid part time job she can continue. Her choice entirely.

luckylavender · 10/02/2023 11:18

Iliveforthe · 10/02/2023 09:42

There are all kinds of variables I imagine between universities eg academic ratings, student satisfaction etc. However, in general what are the pros and cons of moving away for university compared to staying at home and studying locally. I’m really torn on what I want DD to do (her choice ultimately). Aibu to ask for advice on the pros and cons of each option?
yabu- it’s better to move away
yanbu- it’s better to study locally

As you said - her choice ultimately. You said it as an after thought though. She's an adult now.