Second week of placement and having regrets

[topherman]

I'm in my first year, second term of my masters in social work. Social work has always been what I've wanted to do, I've done extensive research into it, I've had soooo many people warn me against it. Told me how stressful it is, to go into another profession. However I've always thought it was the only thing I wanted to do.

I now find myself, a 30 year old mature student, undertaking my first placement. Im enjoying it yes, but I expected to love it. I am in my second week of my first placement and am finding it extremely stressful. This is with only ONE caseload, four more are being transferred over to me in the next few weeks.

I have been shadowing and my link worker is absolutely amazing however, I've barely slept since I started. When I do sleep, it isn't deep, and I'm waking every hour or two. I feel like I am always behind between meeting with service users, doing their record, being in touch with resources to help them and my reflective writing I literally have no time for anything else.

I am a single mum and also work, I always thought that I'd be good at shutting off after work but already I've been told off by my link worker about being unavailable and shutting off after 5 pm. It's impossible, if I do that then I have it to do the next day. Link worker said I just have to accept that. I think about the women I am working with when I go home, I worry about them and hope they are okay.

My link worker has said I am smashing everything and getting stuff done for service users very quickly which will build their trust. The reason I do it so quickly though is due to my anxiety. I'm not eating much as I genuinely do not have time.

I enjoy the work with the service users, less so the paperwork but I can manage it. Am I just not cut out for this? I know when I'm qualified I am going to have lots of caseloads and if I'm struggling with ONE does that mean I'm just not cut out for this? It's so disappointing, I'm very passionate about this, but feeling like I care too much and can't shut off.

My mum says it's just cause it's my second week and I'm stimulated?

Keep going, you’ve only just started. It will be stressful but give yourself time. Sounds like you’re doing really well. I would finish the placement and then reassess. You’ll more than likely develop coping strategies and things get easier with experience. I almost dropped out of my PGCE during my first placement but went on to have a happy career in teaching. You’ll find your niche.

It sounds really terrible, but I think you need to start seeing this as a job. During your working hours, you’re doing your absolute best to help those in need. Outside of the working hours there’s nothing you can be doing to help, but having “you time” and being well fed and rested is super important.

I know it’s tricky (especially because I bet you were drawn to social work because you’re a caring person), but you’ve got to set boundaries and stick to them.

Best of luck, I admire people like you that are so passionate about helping others!

I think you are expecting to run before you can walk.

I'm a nurse and have felt a bit like what you describe for the last 6 months as I have recently changed jobs and we're short staffed (shock).

It's not sustainable and you have to start saying "I'm going now" at 5pm or whatever time.

You can't pour from an empty cup.

I worked in the police in Child Protection for many years so did many joint visits with social workers. Sad to say that often there were newly qualified social workers who as soon as qualified were given horrendous case loads with hardly any practical experience as there is a shortage of social workers. Many left within the first year of qualification due to stress and burn out.

I also recall one of the team managers telling me that out of 100 students on the training course they were only left with a third of the original take at the end of the course.

Some of the social workers after qualification moved onto what was perceived to be easier sections like adult care or worked as agency social workers because they could earn more money but do less hours.

I would just say look after your mental health and if speak up if you're case load becomes manageable because if the wheel comes off with one of your cases, quite often the buck stops with the social worker and managers are hardly criticised.

It should say if your case load becomes unmanageable

I work in a similar profession and it's completely normal to feel overwhelmed and out of your depth when you first start holding cases. That's why you have to be trained! Having said that, I feel concerned that you're not sleeping or eating - if you're not looking after yourself, you will struggle all the more. I'd definitely recommend sticking out the placement. It's very early days and you've yet to get a real sense of what the job is like. But please focus on making sure you're rested and fed. You may well have to develop new relaxation and stress management techniques and that's part of your professional development. Lots of luck to you.

Honestly this is fairly normal; this is what I felt like in my first social work job and it did get better; it’s very early days and you get used to it. I’m nearly ten years in and yes it’s stressful and pressurised but I can’t imagine doing anything else.

I think your Mum's right OP. It takes a while to settle into ANY job, let alone one that involves so much, and the fact that you obviously have a caring nature to have gone into this sector in the first place, is bound to put you under more pressure. I'm like you, and if I do something I want to do it right, I even had sleepless nights while learning to drive, going over and over in mind the things I'd done wrong in a lesson, so in your situation, I feel sure I would be exactly the same. Give yourself some time to get used to things, and as others have said, be sure you take care of you, as if you're broken how can you expect to help others. Good luck! I feel sure you can do this.

The best thing about social work is that there are loads of teams you can work in. It doesn't have to be front line.

You are enjoying placement, that's enough for now. I think a lot of students are under the illusion that the work is easy. It's not, but the personal gain is immense.

You learn that you can't help all the people all of the time. It's a hard pill to swallow.

Keep at it. Get the degree, lots of areas you could go in to.

Another social worker (AP and practice ed and asye assessor) here. I also work on EDT so lots of crisis work!
Everything you say is completely normal for a student or asye. The job takes real emotional resilience and this has to be developed. It is tough and the responsibilities are immense. You can never get everything done on the system...realistically, when you switch off you just have to know you've done everything you can to make children safe that night and to make sure someone can understand what you've done if they have to read your notes overnight. Beyond that, chill. Make an admin day a week say 9 til 3 then you can do after school visits, get your minutes and emails recorded then. When you make a phone call, open the case note and type as you're talking. Record minutes in word as you're chairing a meeting then you can copy and paste into the form.
You're a student. The risk doesn't stop with you, you aren't qualified yet, anything you are worried about speak to your practice educator, speak to the AP, or speak to the manager if needed. Risk goes up, that's why management get paid more. Switch off at 5 and don't lose your own time. As a student you don't have any work which is so risky it needs calls etc beyond 5.
The families we work with are in difficult znd stressful situations and they do unpredictable and sometimes crazy things. All you can do is the best with what you know. It's going to be easier once you become a bit more resilient to the things you see and hear, but it never stops being an emotional job. 8 years in I still cry sometimes, the day you stop caring is the day you need a new job x

Oh the other thing I tell my students and asyes...if you feel like your mind is still spinning in the evening, write a to do list of everything youre thinking of, and then put it away. Same if you wake in the night. Write it down and go back to sleep.

The advice to write a list of what you need to do if you can’t sleep is really good and has worked for me in the past. Also at some point you have to make peace with the fact that you can’t always get everything done and you can only do what you can

I did a MSc in social work and I'm not going to lie it nearly broke me. Didn't love my first placement- but my second placement was great. It's years later for me and i sleep fine... now. But that takes time and experience and confidence. I would say keep going. Stop doing everything to such a crazy standard- you'll just burn out- doing things quickly doesn't inspire confidence as such, being honest with clients and giving them a honest timeline of what you will do that is doable for you- that will inspire confidence. Your link person sounds nice- but part of their job is to protect you from you. Deep breaths- no1 is expecting miracles. Work slower, give yourself more time to think, eat and do your reflections. You're not on placement as a staff member you are there to learn- and that takes time!

Keep at it! I felt very much the same during my final placement (my first one was slow and I didn't do a lot!). I'm now 5 years in and I'm a senior practice lead. It is stressful, but I find it less so than I found teaching.

It does matter whether you work for a decent LA or not though, so it won't hurt to be choosey about where you apply for jobs.

The issue for me is being able to turn the worry off. I feel physically uncomfortable thinking of any of the service users in a bad situation. I think, 'there for but the grace of god, go i' I've shed some tears tonight, I wish I could bring them home with me, give them a nice meal. My link worker says I need to accept that they are responsible for their own well-being but some of these women have had such horrendous childhood trauma experiences I can't even Ben comprehend being them, as much as I've tried. I just feel very low, I hope it gets better but not sure.

As others have said, it's normal. At the moment you feel responsible for everything. With time, you realise that you're not. You're part of a multi agency team, you all share the responsibility, you all have individual roles to play. You're not responsible for preventing anything bad ever happening. You're responsible for doing your job, to a reasonable standard - and I say reasonable because for example, you would never have enough time to do all the things you're technically responsible for.

Some advice I had as a student that helped me:

You'll have to accept that you will be the person who forgets to reply to emails, doesn't answer the phone, and spends a lot of time apologising for being late. No matter how much you swore you wouldn't be that kind of social worker, it'll happen. Not because you don't care, but because the volume of work makes it impossible not to.

You will have to find a balance between doing the job, and recording what you've done on the job. You'll never be able to do both fully at the same time.

Always keep a written to do list. Aim to get three things done on it each day. Keep it realistic

Come the end of the day - is anyone on fire? No? Then its not urgent. Go home.

It's better to miss some deadlines and stay in the job ten years than it is to do everything and burn out in one. Its a marathon not a sprint.

There's no point doing extra hours to catch up on your work. If you get ahead, more work will come along to fill that gap. You'll learn what a 'tolerable' level of outstanding work is, just as you'll learn what a tolerable level of risk is. The job requires you to cope with the uncomfortable.

If you had a day off sick, or your laptop died, the world wouldn't stop turning. Your team would manage, your manager would manage. It's not as urgent as it feels right now. Again - is anyone on fire? No? Then you're probably ok.

(Hope no one finds the flippant humour offensive, it's a serious job but sometimes black humour is necessary in stressful roles)

That's my worry, this is my first placement, and to a qualified person like yourself, would be a walk in the park. I'm worried about why I'm struggling so much with such a low case load.

The advice @Zola1 has said is spot on It takes resilience to do the job and this takes time to build up.
Learn from the others in the team. Sadly there are things you can't switch off from at times but that's natural.

You sound like exactly the type of person who should be a social worker, and given time and a bit more experience I bet you’ll be a great one.

Stress happens when the demands on you exceed your resources. You are right at the start of your training so that pot of resources (in terms of experience, skills, resilience in coping with the emotional aspect of the work) has got a lot of growing to do. I’m not saying it won’t be stressful once you’re experienced but you’ll be equipped to deal with it and you’ll get the buzz from knowing that you’re doing a good job.

I don't understand, are you saying your link worker has told you off for shutting everything off at 5pm? Or for not shutting everything off?

I've been a social worker for 10 years now. I've worked in a range of teams and there is so much that can affect how the workload feels. I've worked in awful teams with massive caseloads and terrible managers, and in quieter teams that were still not great due to the dynamic or the manager. I've worked in my current team for 4 years and it's the best I've been in. But even this one has had its ups and downs depending on senior management decisions, staffing issues etc. What I'm trying to say is I wouldn't take a small amount of time in one team as a sign social work isn't for you. Instead frame it as a learning process and try and identify what things you like about your placement and what things make it difficult, to help you learn where you think you would like to work in the future. It might be this area of social work isn't for you, or you might reflect and realise in fact its the team, or the location, or the way your workload is handled. There's so many options in social work - mental health, hospital, adult community work, child protection, looked after children, fostering and adoption, UASC/people from abroad etc. Somewhere will be a fit.

The other thing that I think you only develop with time (and can still trip me up) is learning that you are actually not entirely indispensable, and in fact the people you are working with will on the whole be OK on the times you are not there, and you really DO need to not be there when it's evenings and weekends or you will be no help to anyone. I still catch myself mulling over cases at night, waking up to think about them, even dreaming of them - but I've had to learn to consciously and actively decide to turn my attention elsewhere, even if it's just briefly focusing on my breath in order to stop the train of thought. Sometimes writing a note in my work diary of what I was thinking about, so it's there for monday/the next day, helps sort of free up my brain from trying to hold it all.

And finally it's so easy to sort of jump in with the people you're working with and match their anxiety/worries/concerns and state of mind, and it feels like empathy, but actually often someone can be super heightened and then just the passing of time brings it back down. You don't have to be up there with them if that makes sense. I'm part time now and sometimes get frantic messages while I'm off, which I pick up when I get back, and by the time I call they're like, oh no its fine now, I'm feeling OK, I spoke to X etc.. If I'd got that message when I was in work I would have felt responsible for alleviating their problems but this has taught me in fact I can be helpful but so can other people, and people can often help themselves too.

I guess I think give yourself time. And definitely shut down at 5pm as much as you can.

@topherman of course an experienced worker would find it easier, but that's no failure on your part. An experienced driver would find navigating a city centre rush hour straightforward and a learner would find it immensely stressful. That difference is entirely normal!

Re struggling with the trauma you hear/see - remember that you cant fix things, but you're making a difference just by being in their lives and validating/recognizing their experience. That's more than 90% of people do. You can only do your part, you can't fix everything.

Also just seen your reply and I wonder if you are struggling with feeling like you have to be perfect. Yes someone qualified with experience might find one case a walk in the park... But why on earth would you expect that to be the case for a student in their second week of placement? You are learning. It sounds like you are putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself and maybe doubting your abilities. But truly I've only begun to feel confident the last couple of years. It's a skilled and complex job, and it's such a mix of people skills and theory knowledge but also processes and rules and paperwork. It's a lot to take in.... Be kind to yourself 💐

An experienced worker wouldn't also be working a second job and writing essays etc. This is arguably one of the hardest parts.

The MSC is tough and alongside other pressures can feel unmanageable. Keep talking about it.

Not in a social work post but wouldn't be in my current role without the MSC.

Whatever you choose to do, good luck!

Also I wonder if you're in touch with other students to compare, but - our final placement students wouldn't be allocated any cases until the end of a four week induction. They would be shadowing, and might do tasks related to those cases for the allocated social worker, eg making a referral, making phone calls etc. But they wouldn't have a case and four on the way. We're not allowed to allocate to new experienced workers until after a two week induction. Induction is important to get to know your team and others, get out to find/meet local services, schools, etc. Those aspects make doing the actual job much easier.
I know allocations will vary depending on the team/dept etc, but be aware if you're in a placement where the workload is at the high end, not to unfairly judge yourself.

I may have misunderstood but your link worker told you off for not being available after 5? If so that's completely unacceptable ( unless you meant she told you off for working after 5, in which case fine).