Second week of placement and having regrets

[topherman]

I'm in my first year, second term of my masters in social work. Social work has always been what I've wanted to do, I've done extensive research into it, I've had soooo many people warn me against it. Told me how stressful it is, to go into another profession. However I've always thought it was the only thing I wanted to do.

I now find myself, a 30 year old mature student, undertaking my first placement. Im enjoying it yes, but I expected to love it. I am in my second week of my first placement and am finding it extremely stressful. This is with only ONE caseload, four more are being transferred over to me in the next few weeks.

I have been shadowing and my link worker is absolutely amazing however, I've barely slept since I started. When I do sleep, it isn't deep, and I'm waking every hour or two. I feel like I am always behind between meeting with service users, doing their record, being in touch with resources to help them and my reflective writing I literally have no time for anything else.

I am a single mum and also work, I always thought that I'd be good at shutting off after work but already I've been told off by my link worker about being unavailable and shutting off after 5 pm. It's impossible, if I do that then I have it to do the next day. Link worker said I just have to accept that. I think about the women I am working with when I go home, I worry about them and hope they are okay.

My link worker has said I am smashing everything and getting stuff done for service users very quickly which will build their trust. The reason I do it so quickly though is due to my anxiety. I'm not eating much as I genuinely do not have time.

I enjoy the work with the service users, less so the paperwork but I can manage it. Am I just not cut out for this? I know when I'm qualified I am going to have lots of caseloads and if I'm struggling with ONE does that mean I'm just not cut out for this? It's so disappointing, I'm very passionate about this, but feeling like I care too much and can't shut off.

My mum says it's just cause it's my second week and I'm stimulated?

Hmm

I'm not a social worker but have a busy public facing job with crazy demands. It never ends. But I have learnt to be ok with never finishing my to do list, and to accept that I can only do my best in the circumstances I am in. Prioritise ruthlessly, get the most difficult stuff done at the beginning of the day and try not to take anything personally. Also exercise, meditate and spend time with friends whenever you can. These things will keep you sane and resilient. Good luck OP, it will get easier.

That's my worry, this is my first placement, and to a qualified person like yourself, would be a walk in the park. I'm worried about why I'm struggling so much with such a low case load

You're trying to draw on experience you don’t have yet, which is unfair. The point of placement is to gain practical experience and develop your skills, but it also teaches you the need for coping strategies, the need to balance your work and to leave things at the door. You’re learning what it means to be a social worker in a busy team, and how to develop the ability to set boundaries (ie finish at 5, turn your phone off) and how to build your own resilience.

Its a pressured job that could take over your whole life, and you’d still not get everything done. You need to be realistic about what you can offer the people you work with and what you can expect of yourself.

Basically you can go fast or you can go far, but you can’t do both. Find a reasonable pace for the case you have now - as in if you had five cases all needing input from you, what timescales would you give your service user re letters, visits or phone calls. Look at your diary for the next couple of weeks, write ok any meetings or training, give yourself blocks of admin time (and use it productively), plan in any visits you know you need to do. The rest of the time is time you can use for ad hoc requests, keeping in touch etc. So you’ll naturally start to be realistic when service users make demands on your time beyond the work you’re there to do with them.

We work with incredibly vulnerable people who have complex needs, it’s easy to get drawn into trying to fix it all, but that’s not your job.

OP, I just wanted to say your post brought me back to my feelings in the first year of my nursing degree but also my first year of being a qualified nurse. It's completely normal (its easy for my to say that but I totally understand). I spent most of my time worrying, calling back up the department when I has finsihed to check on my patients, I even rang a patient the week after they went home to check how they were getting on. They kept telling me how amazing the service was! I was just glad they were ok, at the end of the day it because we care, it will feel so overwhelming at the moment but I agree with your mum it's totally new to you at the moment and the responsibility feels so huge. We need people like you in the role so don't doubt yourself. Just one day and step at a time.

What are you 'hmmm' ing at?

The fact you care shows that you are the sort of person really needed in Social Work so I hope you stay.

But remember ultimately you can only do so much to help someone else- they have got to want to help themselves, and you can put support in place but it is upto the individual to take the required actions, you can't take all the responsibility on your shoulders.