To be absolutely dreading February half term

[Whatdoesitmatterif]

I know i am being a bit pathetic about this but It's actually making me feel so nervous and sick because I know it's going to be impossibly hard.
the weather will no doubt be shit.
The kids will just fight at any given opportunity if I take my eye of them for a second.
we live in a small flat with no outside space or anything like that.
I have no money to do anything with them, we will be stuck in the flat pretty much the whole time.
i know I need to just build up some resilience and just get on with things like everyone else does and make the best of it but I just want to cry at the thought of trying to entertain everyone for a week, one dc has sen and I'm a single parent so even just going to the park or the shops can be very chaotic when I have to take the children with me.
the February half term is definitely the worst, most miserable one imo!

There is always some free stuff on, but yes - the weather is due to turn nasty next week (of course!) and anyone who thinks jumping in puddles is going to make a jolly half term is probably on mood enhancers.

But it won't be as bad as you fear - you will be ready for them to go back to school, but they will enjoy the break.

Did that feel good writing that? Did you get a lovely smug feeling as you typed it? Many parents of SEN kids dread the holidays due to their kid's routine being disrupted and the general lack of any clubs etc suitable for children with additional needs. Unfortunately stuff like going to the cinema, library, soft play etc aren't possible for many SEN kids. They can also struggle with indoor activities like jigsaws, card games, crafts etc. So OP, I feel your pain. Getting outside as much as possible, regardless of the weather was always my salvation. Hang in there!

My eldest isn't even in full time school currently due to his needs, I certainly do parent my kids and i do enjoy spending time with my kids, however I also find it VERY difficult to manage both of them at the same time, because one is still very young and the other is autistic and has adhd. We live right on a main road so to even leave the flat is stressful because eldest will just bolt into the road if I'm not careful and 5 year old also needs attention near busy roads and there is only one of me.
when I say I have no money to do things with them I mean i literally have no money to do things with them, I have less than a tenner in my bank to last the next 12 days. Good for you that you don't have to stress about half term and trying to afford to feed and entertain your kids as well as have to try and manage one child's additional needs amongst their siblings needs but we aren't all that lucky.
it isn't always this shit for us but this time around it is and I am dreading it but that doesn't mean I hate my kids or that I don't want to parent.

@icelolly12 you didn't answer the question about whether or not you have a child with sen ?? I do and it's bloody hard work. Stop judging you nasty piece of work.

It's very easy to judge other mums when you HAVE ENOUGH MONEY.
Even if child is with SEN - you can spend all day somewhere without worrying about lunch, just simply order take away. Or spend 1 HR with tired child on bus, you can call a taxi,etc.
Life is much easier when you have options. Not bloody thinking about every single penny.

Another one who maybe didn't properly read the post. Lots of kids with SEN need to be supervised and can't be safely left alone to entertain themselves.

There's a strange set of comments coming through about 'SEN' as if it's one precise issue.

There are many types of need, ranging in severity and type, and the common feature should be that it relates to EDUCATION; that's what the E stands for.

Problems with learning or cognition, or emotional regulation, or speech and language, or whatever, shouldn't mean that children can't be part of a family or cope only in an educational setting.

i agree with Nocutenamesleft

i have 2 SEN kids,12 and 18 both need 24/7 care and supervision and we home educate(forced in to it as there's no schools for them to go).
im also a lone parent/carer that get zero help kids don't sleep either

quite frankly get over yourself,i love being with my kids and they are classed as moderate on the disability scale.

we have so much fun exploring the home ed life and are never in,either exploring the world or meet up groups

i couldn't cope with seeing them 2-3 hours a day like most households

they are your kids you chose to have,schools are not childcare or a place to fob of kids all day everyday

even stuck in doors there's hundreds of things to do

OP lives in a flat.

As a sen mum you should have bit more empathy then shouldn't you. Just because you find parenting a sen child easy, fun and enjoyable doesn't mean we all do.

Do you have family you can visit?
It sounds stressful getting them out but being indoors for the whole week won't be easy either. Kids need to burn some energy.
Google free things to do with kids in your area.
Talk to your dc about those things and make a timetable for the week with them.
Take sandwiches and drinks with you.
If you decide to go to a museum or gallery, choose 2 things to look at. Go to those two things only and just stop if anything else catches anyones eye.
When you go for walks, give your dc something to do like find a smooth stone or a flower.
Ask them questions to make the walk more exciting like 'do you think the gruffalo lives here?'

What's the point of your post? That everyone will be in awe thinking how much better you are than OP? Because trust me that's not the result.

Could you plan some baking to do or something? Teach them how to make dinner.

Many additional needs will impact upon the life of the child at home as well as at school.

we have had times when Ds needs have meant he literally can’t leave the house. He is “stable” at the moment but any trips still take massive planning and preperation.

lack of routine has a massive knock on impact on many people with disabilities meaning that school holidays throw them before they even start.

in a lot of ways I am lucky that Ds is an only child so I can focus on just him and not worry about also meeting the needs of other children.

Every single waking minute? That doesn't sound healthy.

Parents of 'SEN kids' would be up in arms if others didn't want to spend time with them, or be put out by their specific requirements.

If schools or other families treated you and them like an inconvenience because of they way they are and things they can't help, you'd be within your rights to request reasonable adjustments. Something different from or additional to the norm is necessary.

Remove barriers and give them a chance. They deserve some downtime and need to learn to cope out of a formal routine. They don't get away with running in the road or hitting others at school, so put some boundaries in place, reinforce expectations and bring them up to make a contribution.

Hark at the sen expert

Do you want a medal? Do you enjoy kicking people when they’re struggling? You cannot be so self-absorbed and lacking of empathy to consider that maybe your children’s “moderate” disabilities are easier to handle than OP’s children or that others are not like you and may struggle a bit.

OP’s struggles do not mean she doesn’t love her children.

You should take your own advice and get over yourself.

Show you have no experience of children with additional needs without saying you have no experience!

@Whatdoesitmatterif I hate the winter holidays the most - it's relentlessly rubbish. Are you on Facebook groups for parents of kids with ADHD etc?

They're usually good at posting any schemes running in your area and sometimes organise meet ups - well worth joining.

You've got my full sympathy.

Which part of what I think exactly don't you agree with?

@5hj56 Do you have SEN kids?

Your posts show a person doesn't need any knowledge, qualification or successful experience to become a 'SEN mum', but still can still feel competent enough criticise those who not only understand the concepts, but apply the right strategies to teach children with SEND effectively.

I home educate, plus have an SEN child.

BUT… I’m not sanctimonious because I’m aware that it’s very different to have a school holiday. The kids are used to the pace and high levels of occupation school provides. Usually they spend days with activities being regularly given to them, and are expressly discouraged from self directed activities. They aren’t robots that switch into self-directed mode, able to occupy themselves.

Also they aren’t used to spending all their time together, again that in itself takes adjustment.

The two ways of raising children are just different, they have their own strengths and weaknesses. What is true though that children can’t just flit between the two standards just because it’s a school break. Same as if you now suddenly put my children to school they’d struggle to maintain the focus, take direction for hours and manage group dynamics for a while.

It’s so hard, I agree the February half term is the hardest. My go to is the free craft sessions at the library and the free swimming in school holidays.