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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Over feeding baby - AIBU?

43 replies

SpudJess · 08/02/2023 16:08

I am a new mum (first child is 2 weeks old today!) and I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable for questioning my health visitors guidance about over feeding my baby.

I struggled to BF and my supply dried up on day 5, it wasn’t a great supply to begin with so she has been combi fed since 12 hours old and exclusively on formula for the past week and a bit.

I record how much she eats every day as she tends to eat a lot more than the back of the formula pack says. When we were under midwife care they said it’s fine and to feed on demand, even if it’s a lot more than I think she should be eating, and if she over ate she would just be sick so it’s fine.

Now we have moved over to being seen by the HV I’ve been told to try and drop at least one of her feeds, if not more.

I don’t feed her until she makes it clear she is hungry (rooting, hands in mouth etc.) but she is eating a lot more than the HV has advised, HV mentioned she should be eating 150-200ml per KG of weight, which would be max 650ml a day. On average she is eating 850-900ml a day, a few days ago she had over 1000ml

on average she feeds 12-13 times a day as well.

AIBU to not drop the feeds? She is always hungry when I feed so I’m not sure what the alternative is, to leave her hungry?

Has anyone successfully dropped feeds and managed to not make their baby super upset due to being left hungry? is there a trick I’m missing!?

OP posts:
Mamai90 · 08/02/2023 16:13

I would continue to feed her when she's hungry. I couldn't even tell you what my HV said about feeding and how much, I fed her when she was hungry and she's always loved her food, she's still a great eater at 15 months but has always been on the 25th centile for height and weight.

Bikeybikeface · 08/02/2023 16:13

My first would feed much less than that and my second fed much more 🤷🏽‍♀️ all babies are different.

MonkeyToez · 08/02/2023 16:14

Your HV sounds like a numpty, if baby is hungry then feed her

Perfect28 · 08/02/2023 16:20

Continue to feed on demand, make sure you're pace feeding.

Original poster
SpudJess · 08/02/2023 17:10

Mamai90 · 08/02/2023 16:13

I would continue to feed her when she's hungry. I couldn't even tell you what my HV said about feeding and how much, I fed her when she was hungry and she's always loved her food, she's still a great eater at 15 months but has always been on the 25th centile for height and weight.

Thank you, she is still on the lower percentiles which adds to my concern about not feeding on demand anymore!

OP posts:
Original poster
SpudJess · 08/02/2023 17:11

Bikeybikeface · 08/02/2023 16:13

My first would feed much less than that and my second fed much more 🤷🏽‍♀️ all babies are different.

Thank you, yes it’s been hard to gauge as everyone I know who has kids has a wide variety of feed amounts so I’m half reliant on my HV but also concerned re the moving to not feeding on demand

OP posts:
Original poster
SpudJess · 08/02/2023 17:12

Perfect28 · 08/02/2023 16:20

Continue to feed on demand, make sure you're pace feeding.

Thank you, yes been trying with the pacing lately as she wolfs the formula down and ends up with hiccups every time!

OP posts:
DaveyJonesLocker · 08/02/2023 17:15

Feed her when she's hungry. My DS was a big lad and my lovely HV said if anyone questioned his size or eating to tell them to do one, it's nearly impossible to over feed a baby, even bottle fed.

Pardon44 · 08/02/2023 17:18

I would feed on demand. If your baby is rooting and hungry. I would slow her down a bit. If she is eating fast and getting hiccups. I would give her an ounce and the wind her and then the next ounce and wind her.

WoolyMammoth55 · 08/02/2023 17:19

OP just to agree with all PPs - babies need to eat and grow, they will tell you when hungry and if they are hungry it's never wrong to feed them.

I'd stop logging amounts, honestly - she'll eat what she wants and there's not much point worrying about it.

Wish you all the best mumma! :)

Flamingogirl08 · 08/02/2023 17:25

I wouldn't worry about over feeding her but 12-13 times a day for bottle feeding must be exhausting for you!

Original poster
SpudJess · 08/02/2023 17:33

Flamingogirl08 · 08/02/2023 17:25

I wouldn't worry about over feeding her but 12-13 times a day for bottle feeding must be exhausting for you!

sometimes she will go back for ‘pudding’ so the feeds are close together.

take today for example she ate at 12:00, 12:30, 13:10 and 13:45.

OP posts:
MaverickGooseGoose · 08/02/2023 17:41

If she's hungry, feed her. No one knows what volume bf babies have. Ignore the hv.

Chickenly · 08/02/2023 17:47

I’d continue to feed as you are to be honest, but I’m not expert on formula. My DD is EBF but I express all milk. She was 9th centile at birth, didn’t get back to birth weight for almost three weeks and then (after we changed bottle teats) was up to the 50th by her 6 week check, where she’s been since (now 6 months). She drinks 1.5-2L of breast milk per day, which is far more than they recommend but she’s happy, so I’m happy. Just stick with what you’re doing unless an actual medical professional raises an actual concern.

GG1986 · 08/02/2023 18:01

SpudJess · 08/02/2023 17:33

sometimes she will go back for ‘pudding’ so the feeds are close together.

take today for example she ate at 12:00, 12:30, 13:10 and 13:45.

Show quote history

Is it possible baby is crying because she is tired rather than hungry? If she fed all those times then that means she was awake for over 2 hours? I also have a newborn and kept feeding when he cried, but now after looking up "wake windows" I am realising that some signs of tiredness are also the same as a baby being hungry. Just an idea, I totally agree with feeding on demand though, but it might be worth giving bigger bottles say 2-3 hours apart, rather than little and often xx

lifehappens12 · 08/02/2023 18:02

Feed on demand. My first baby only fed about 50% of the daily recommended amount and we spent a lot of time with HV to make sure he was growing and thriving.

No one said force feed him 100% - he just wouldn't have taken it.

So on the flip side - when you baby is hungry - you feed. Your baby could also be going through a growth spurt and will reduce their requirement.

Also if you HV would like you to drop a feed perhaps she would like to be present when your hungry new born starts screaming to be fed?

Dracarys1 · 08/02/2023 18:06

Don't question yourself, if she's hungry feed her. If she was having too much she'd be sick and possetting. My DS ate absolutely loads as a tiny baby and I had the usual worries but he's 2 now, perfectly healthy and normal appetite (though he'd eat his body weight in biscuits if I let him!) Try not to stress, keep doing what you're doing, you're doing great x

honeylulu · 08/02/2023 18:13

If she is gaining weight at (or below) the predicted rate then you aren't overfeeding her and she needs it. She may be having a growth spurt and her feeds will tail off and/or get more spaced out especially as her tummy gains more capacity.

I joined the thread as I wondered if she was like my youngest who always "acted hungry" but often just wanted a comfort suck (she was VERY sucky). When I moved from breast to bottle it became clear she was just snacking on the milk a lot of the time and what she really wanted was the teat in her gob! But it sounds like your baby is actually drinking the milk so completely different.

Original poster
SpudJess · 08/02/2023 18:34

GG1986 · 08/02/2023 18:01

Is it possible baby is crying because she is tired rather than hungry? If she fed all those times then that means she was awake for over 2 hours? I also have a newborn and kept feeding when he cried, but now after looking up "wake windows" I am realising that some signs of tiredness are also the same as a baby being hungry. Just an idea, I totally agree with feeding on demand though, but it might be worth giving bigger bottles say 2-3 hours apart, rather than little and often xx

Show quote history

She slept in between, she is barely awake which is slowly changing but unless she is eating she is sleeping. And her feeds last 5-10 mins max!

those feeds were all 60-90ml

OP posts:
Blessedbethefruitz · 08/02/2023 18:40

My first was bottle fed from 1 week, he never took as much as 700ml in a day. He drinks more milk now at 4 years old 😂My second is breastfed so no idea how much she gets, but she's much chunkier. If you were breastfeeding, you'd have no idea how much baby was taking and this wouldn't have even become a source of worry.

You can't overfeed a 2 week old whether bottle or breast. If they take too much, they'll just be sick. They do so much growing those first few weeks, feeding on demand is the obvious way to go, even if you have a snacker (both of mine are) :)

ChildminderMum · 08/02/2023 18:47

Does she have a dummy? Babies like to comfort suck and if they are comfort sucking on a bottle they may be getting more milk than they need.

If she's rooting within 45 minutes of a feed I'd try offering a dummy before a bottle.

Bizzyone · 08/02/2023 18:54

I agree with PPs.. feeding on demand just makes sense when they are so little! And mine had a growth spurt st 2 weeks so was hungry every 90mins-2hrs round the clock..

If baby is growing and thriving then am not sure what benefit there would be to leaving them to scream for food or withold it at such a young age 🤔

Original poster
SpudJess · 08/02/2023 19:04

ChildminderMum · 08/02/2023 18:47

Does she have a dummy? Babies like to comfort suck and if they are comfort sucking on a bottle they may be getting more milk than they need.

If she's rooting within 45 minutes of a feed I'd try offering a dummy before a bottle.

She refuses to use a dummy, no matter how hard we try (would be helpful during the car seat meltdowns!)

OP posts:
Danikm151 · 08/02/2023 19:08

Have you tried hungry baby milk? More calories in it basically so may help get the feeds down to 8-10 rather than 10-12

also- try different types of dummies. My son didn’t like the mam ones but would take a tommy tipee one- similar shape to the bottle teats.

RoseValleyRambles · 08/02/2023 19:09

Mine was the same for the first 6 weeks, then slowed around week 8 and dropped feed volume to something more typical. Ignore the health visitor. Try paced feeding if you've not given it a go, but keep feeding her when she's hungry. I can't imagine letting such a wee baby be hungry!

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