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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Over feeding baby - AIBU?

43 replies

SpudJess · 08/02/2023 16:08

I am a new mum (first child is 2 weeks old today!) and I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable for questioning my health visitors guidance about over feeding my baby.

I struggled to BF and my supply dried up on day 5, it wasn’t a great supply to begin with so she has been combi fed since 12 hours old and exclusively on formula for the past week and a bit.

I record how much she eats every day as she tends to eat a lot more than the back of the formula pack says. When we were under midwife care they said it’s fine and to feed on demand, even if it’s a lot more than I think she should be eating, and if she over ate she would just be sick so it’s fine.

Now we have moved over to being seen by the HV I’ve been told to try and drop at least one of her feeds, if not more.

I don’t feed her until she makes it clear she is hungry (rooting, hands in mouth etc.) but she is eating a lot more than the HV has advised, HV mentioned she should be eating 150-200ml per KG of weight, which would be max 650ml a day. On average she is eating 850-900ml a day, a few days ago she had over 1000ml

on average she feeds 12-13 times a day as well.

AIBU to not drop the feeds? She is always hungry when I feed so I’m not sure what the alternative is, to leave her hungry?

Has anyone successfully dropped feeds and managed to not make their baby super upset due to being left hungry? is there a trick I’m missing!?

OP posts:

gemloving · 08/02/2023 19:12

They always said you can over feed a formula fed baby but not a breastfed baby which I always thought was crazy and probably not true and I did breastfeed x

Dogcafedreamer · 08/02/2023 19:15

Bikeybikeface · 08/02/2023 16:13

My first would feed much less than that and my second fed much more 🤷🏽‍♀️ all babies are different.

Mine the other way round... as you say they're all different.

Feed the baby when she's hungry OP.

DONTMESSWITHMEDARNA · 08/02/2023 19:16

you don't have to have this hv, their service is optional,they don't tell you that though they make out you have to have one.

ive a 18 and 12 y old, ive never seen a hv, opted out with both when pregnant,i saw a midwife after both though

both have had all injections i just never had one at the house and never went to a class/weigh in

my 2nd baby was massive 11lb11oz and 29 inches(yeas really)natural birth

he was a very hungry baby from first feed he was on a full 11oz bottle a time(those little bottles you get in the hospital he drained 3-4 before he was full),which was every hour and half of extra hungry baby milk(i couldn't breastfeed) by 6 weeks a full bottle and a half.

this lasted up until 5 months when after going through 2-3 tins a week he started proper food(never jars)and blue top cows milk
that was 4-6 pints a day.

he used to put on 3-4 pounds on a month(i monitored myself)

if i had a hv like that and listened he would have been continuous starving

at 4 he was diagnosed with a range of disabilities and one was not feeling full at all which explained a lot

her advice is dangerous,if you followed her advice to the letter your baby would be starving and possible loosing weight.

i would get rid as soon as.

you treat a baby as their own person with their own needs.

mynameiscalypso · 08/02/2023 19:17

My DS was the same. He was pretty small when born so I figured he was catching up for the first few weeks. I fed him whenever he wanted, ignored any advice about trying to lengthen the time between feeds and we were both very happy. He's 3 now and quite tall and lean.

gettingalifttothestation · 08/02/2023 19:21

You are probably doing little and often which is fine if you were giving her too much she would be sick. I used to give 4 hourly feeds of four oz bottles it would probably work out the same. Just do what you feel is right Your baby will let you know if she's not happy !

29052022J · 08/02/2023 19:21

I had a super hungry baby, he was big 10lb 4oz but ended up in nicu with sepsis. Was giving him 90ml each feed every three hours as recommended by midwives. Have you tried changed the flow size of the teat? My son was guzzling and would finish bottles within a few minutes. I tried paced feeding (have a Google) and used the slowest teat in Mam bottles (size 0) Even now at 8 months he is only on teat 2 as he’s still a guzzle pot.

StillMedusa · 08/02/2023 19:28

Just feed her and enjoy her!
Honestly, I formula fed three of mine (breastfeeding failed within a few weeks each time sadly) and one baby... drank barely anything...I worried myself sick.
Baby no 2... insatiable and I worried myself sick I was convinced I was going to make him into an obese child!
No 3.. average intake.

Strangely they all grew at normal rates. No 2 was a chunk of a baby and toddler, then thinned out to typical skinny kid and as an adult is a slightly underweight man! Ditto the girls.. different intakes, all grew fine, all now slim healthy adults.

Ignore the HV..I swear they do more damage than good!

Milkand2sugarsplease · 08/02/2023 19:45

Think of it this way, if you were bf, the hv would have no clue how much baby was taking at a time and wouldn't be able to tell you to feed less because of it. I'd just ignore her and crack on feeding as you are. DS2 ate for England and, at 29m, still does. Some days there is no filling him. If my hv tried telling me to cut him down, quite honestly, I'd tell her that she can have him for a bit and have the fall out from him being hungry.

Keep doing what you're doing and don't worry about the hv x

Blossom45 · 08/02/2023 20:13

Another poster here to say to feed on demand and ignore the HV (mine said to go with whatever baby needs). The guidance on the back of the formula packet is exactly that - guidance, it (Aptamil at least) even says something about some babies needing more/less. Keep doing what works for you and baby.

BankOfDave · 08/02/2023 20:15

Wouldn’t be worried about this at all OP. the metrics to care about aren’t how much they’re eating, it’s now much they’re gaining. This will also depending on when they were born (full gestation or not) and birth weight.

You’re doing grand I’m sure. There is no routine at 2 weeks - just go with the flow and a natural rhythm will emerge in a few more weeks.

DancinOnTheCeiling · 08/02/2023 20:23

OP - I’m no expert but my DD was teeny tiny and almost off the centile chart at birth. She fed lots and lots and lots, and I have a memory that I was told by professionals (and other people) that small babies are often very hungry - which makes sense to me, if they’ve maybe somehow not got quite enough in the womb that they’re trying to catch up. You say your baby is on the smaller end of the centile chart so sounds to me like a similar situation to mine, and in my case nobody said to stop feeds. They all said to feed on demand and were all delighted when she put on weight and climbed up the centiles. So if I was you I’d ignore the HV and feed on demand/trust your instinct.

kagerou · 08/02/2023 20:36

Mine was breastfed on demand and went through stages where she would be feeding pretty much non stop! I know formula is designed to resemble the nutritional values of breastmilk as closely and I can't imagine that the calorie content is hugely different

I imagine that in terms of ml she was drinking a lot more than 1000 on some days

MDevane86 · 08/02/2023 20:45

OP, trust your instincts and go with it. Just because you're a FTM and your baby is still so young doesn't mean your HV knows any better. You spend the most amount of time with your baby so you know them best.

I had a slightly prem DS, needed 2 weeks at NICU. When he came home he needed 19-24 feeds every 24hrs and each feed was 30-60ml. Eventually the number of feeds went down and volume of each feed went up but some babies just need lots of feeding.

Hankunamatata · 08/02/2023 21:17

We moved into old style cherry dummy and had to hold it to get dc uses to taking it. Turned out they were super sucky and not hungry. If they were hungry the dummy got a swift spit out

GG1986 · 08/02/2023 21:21

SpudJess · 08/02/2023 18:34

She slept in between, she is barely awake which is slowly changing but unless she is eating she is sleeping. And her feeds last 5-10 mins max!

those feeds were all 60-90ml

Show quote history

Ah OK, if she was waking that often and that quickly then yes she must be hungry! Keep feeding what she will take. My lo went through a growth spurt at 3 weeks and was feeding every hour at one point, I just went with it, it's settled a bit now. You know your baby best, so don't worry about what the HV says.

MourningTea · 08/02/2023 22:03

All babies are different, feed on demand.
I think it's cruel to leave a baby hungry just to meet some "guidance" she could be going through a growth phase and it might tail off in the next couple of months. Higher metabolism.
My hv always said a baby can't eat too much and they are not concerned so long as they are feeding and gaining fine so I'd go with your gut.
Remember they are only human and make mistakes too.

MourningTea · 08/02/2023 22:06

Also for what it's worth my DS always fed more than average, but he is on the 75th centile and has followed that curve perfectly for 3 years.
He is currently a healthy weight so I wouldn't worry.

Cony23 · 20/04/2023 23:18

My firs had combined feeding because I always worried he don't have enough, didn't know that keep him to breast often will increase the amount of milk after a while. He was big, also born huge ( premature 36 weeks, 3+kg) and everytime i went to weigh him the midwife says he is obese, do not feed him 🙄. Never worried as even when weaning he was having a very healthy menu so just ignored it. Now he is 6 and is heavy, normal weight and hight but I see him too skinny, all his trousers fall from him ! I do agree they will bring out the excess. If still worried try maybe give her a smaller ammount to keep giving her as often as she wants like not more than 60 ml and see if she seems content. Bht remember to always listen to your gut, the professionals only have a standard guidance but never ever the guidance fit any of my 4 kids!

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