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AIBU?

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Original poster

Kids made to eat in silence by school

51 replies

Happygolucky49 · 08/02/2023 13:58

So I'll start with I've got 3 kids at this school and have literally never been concerned until now.

Since coming back from Christmas the kids are to eat in 'silence' in the dinner hall. I'm not talking whispers I'm talking dead pan silence.
Have been and asked and apparently they have been told to talk quietly but that's not what my kids and the other kids are saying?
Ther are saying that they are given sanctions if caught (moved onto red peg etc).
They also have to walk through the school in silence with their hands behind backs and chin in the air. Toilet is restricted to break time and not in class (I understand the class to an extent because it can be disruptive) but apparebtly when outside for break they aren't allowed to go back in to the toilet, so when can they go?!
I've been hearing that kids are so desperate to talk they aren't finishing their lunch and also instances of wetting themselves.

I know some parents have made a complaint and the head has sent out a very generic letter saying they are aware and basically claiming its not as the children are saying, but why would all the kids (class mates, other years etc) be saying the exact same things if it wasn't true?

Aibu to think this isn't on?

OP posts:
TirisfalPumpkin · 08/02/2023 14:01

You sure they’re in a school and not an extremely strict monastery?

Aldisfinest · 08/02/2023 14:02

This doesn't sound right at all to me. Wtf. Keeping the noise down is one thing but total silence???

BrutusMcDogface · 08/02/2023 14:02

This can’t be real. Please make an appointment to talk to the head so they can clarify. If it is real, get them the fuck out of that school!

Original poster
Happygolucky49 · 08/02/2023 14:03

Apparently a child asked the Head if they could whisper and she said no because you might choke on your food... Honestly it sounds like a boot camp. My kids called it a prison over the weekend

OP posts:
CitronVert22 · 08/02/2023 14:05

This sounds like The Demon Headmaster

saraclara · 08/02/2023 14:07

They also have to walk through the school in silence with their hands behind backs and chin in the air.

Chin in the air? What on earth purpose is that supposed to serve? It's like something from Dickens.
Has anyone approached the governors? Is this a new head?

watchfulwishes · 08/02/2023 14:09

Is it a new head?

I would ask for the lunch rules to be provided to you in writing. Then complain if unacceptable. Then escalate to governors if defended by the head.

Ask other parents to write too if written rules are ridiculous.

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/02/2023 14:10

www.theguardian.com/education/2016/dec/30/no-excuses-inside-britains-strictest-school

Is it this school?

Magenta82 · 08/02/2023 14:10

Is thus one of those stupid things where a new head comes in and thinks what the kids really need is to suffer under a draconian regime?

Thinkbiglittleone · 08/02/2023 14:11

Is the whole school made to eat on silence, that just can't be right.

Surely, it's moved to eating in silence with the chatterboxes are left in the hall when they need the space for the next year, so trying to get them to eat rather than talk.

Walking around the school in silence I personally think is fine, but chins up in the air seems a bit weird - are you sure this right?

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/02/2023 14:15

www.thesun.co.uk/news/7921985/school-lunch-pupils-sit-silence-parents-outrage/

Or this one.

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/02/2023 14:17

Or this one.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6700435/St-Peters-Droitwich-CE-Academy-primary-school-tells-children-eat-lunch-silence.html

I have heard of it before, it seems to be becoming a bit of a thing.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 08/02/2023 14:17

Isn’t this a horrible trend in education atm?

Theres one in our city.

CaptainMyCaptain · 08/02/2023 14:18

It's awful.

jellyfrizz · 08/02/2023 14:19

Surely being able to converse over a meal is a vital social skill?

Original poster
Happygolucky49 · 08/02/2023 14:20

Nope neither of the schools on articles and no not a new head, been there for years, I thought she had elusions of Grandure when she brought in ties and banned summer dresses for girls for shorts like the boys but that's just me probably

OP posts:
AuntyMabelandPippin · 08/02/2023 14:34

Having a conversation at the lunch table is a very important part of socialisation for children and young people.

I think I'd be talking to the Governors.

Original poster
Happygolucky49 · 08/02/2023 14:37

Yes vital social skill to be able to talk with peers

Completely agree on silence in corridors but they don't have to walk like they are in a boot camp surely?

Going to the toilet is basic human need, if you've got kids as young as 5 having to hold their wee etc in then it's going to cause problems. My sons had a uti recently and I'm starting to wonder if it's because of this. Also keep not drinking his water too.

It's very concerning. I've heard she's recieved in the region of 50 complaints on Monday morning but took her until yesterday acknowledge it at all and deny it.

OP posts:
NeedAHoliday2021 · 08/02/2023 14:38

I’d request to come in and observe.

Original poster
Happygolucky49 · 08/02/2023 14:38

Not this one but it is a c of e

OP posts:
user1496262496 · 08/02/2023 14:40

The idea behind this is that it cuts down on behaviour problems such as bullying and improves punctuality when moving between lessons. I worked in a school where the students had to move between lessons in silence. It did have a positive effect.

OhClunge · 08/02/2023 14:42

Sounds like they've been watching too much Matilda
Lunchtime is a sociable time, lots of babble and chat is healthy for children

BrutusMcDogface · 08/02/2023 15:26

Well, in my special school we are prompted and encouraged to make conversation over the dinner table. Most of the kids don’t do this at home, so we do it for them. I couldn’t agree more that it is vital for developing social/communication skills.

whizzpopping · 08/02/2023 15:29

Yep at my kids' school they are actively encouraged to speak with each other at meal times. But noise is an issue so they're always being reminded to keep their volume down and they're not allowed to talk to (shout at) kids at other tables

Runaway1 · 08/02/2023 15:47

Sounds like a prison. Bloody hell, poor kids these days. Agree with pp - ask for the rules in writing and then governors and possibly press. Schools shouldn’t be run like this.