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Original poster

Kids made to eat in silence by school

51 replies

Happygolucky49 · 08/02/2023 13:58

So I'll start with I've got 3 kids at this school and have literally never been concerned until now.

Since coming back from Christmas the kids are to eat in 'silence' in the dinner hall. I'm not talking whispers I'm talking dead pan silence.
Have been and asked and apparently they have been told to talk quietly but that's not what my kids and the other kids are saying?
Ther are saying that they are given sanctions if caught (moved onto red peg etc).
They also have to walk through the school in silence with their hands behind backs and chin in the air. Toilet is restricted to break time and not in class (I understand the class to an extent because it can be disruptive) but apparebtly when outside for break they aren't allowed to go back in to the toilet, so when can they go?!
I've been hearing that kids are so desperate to talk they aren't finishing their lunch and also instances of wetting themselves.

I know some parents have made a complaint and the head has sent out a very generic letter saying they are aware and basically claiming its not as the children are saying, but why would all the kids (class mates, other years etc) be saying the exact same things if it wasn't true?

Aibu to think this isn't on?

OP posts:
Sugargliderwombat · 08/02/2023 16:34

I've had a headteacher try to enforce this and other equally old school useless rubbish. Shit management and shit staff so I left and went to work elsewhere.

Sugargliderwombat · 08/02/2023 16:35

Sorry just to add, if this is the kind of attitude they take to a noisy lunch hall there are likely other major gaps in teaching and behaviour management.

Original poster
Happygolucky49 · 08/02/2023 17:03

Honestly it wouldn't surprise me if she's got the governors in her pocket

Staff won't speak out for fear of consequences

There was a Facebook post about it and over a hundred angry parents and all she does is try to say its not true

Complaints have been logged through the official channel, mine included and nothing

OP posts:
2Bornot · 08/02/2023 17:57

That is fucked up and will damage the children if it continues. That’s much worse than prison rules.

Tell a national newspaper and see if they’d be willing to run a story on it, that might put pressure on the head.

Get a lawyer to write a legal letter threatening the head and governors with being sued for negligence as they’re breaching their duty towards the children’s welfare and mental health.

Tell Ofsted and ask for an emergency inspection.

Start official complaint.

I would remove my children if at all possible.

Pottedpalm · 08/02/2023 18:04

2Bornot · 08/02/2023 17:57

That is fucked up and will damage the children if it continues. That’s much worse than prison rules.

Tell a national newspaper and see if they’d be willing to run a story on it, that might put pressure on the head.

Get a lawyer to write a legal letter threatening the head and governors with being sued for negligence as they’re breaching their duty towards the children’s welfare and mental health.

Tell Ofsted and ask for an emergency inspection.

Start official complaint.

I would remove my children if at all possible.

😂

WhatTrophy · 08/02/2023 18:11

Depending on the acoustics, a school dining hall can actually breach h&s decibel levels when everyone's talking together. No one being particularly loud individually but the noise can be horrendous. In modern school buildings there are buildings requirements for noise dampeners but not all schools will have them.

qwertykeyboards · 08/02/2023 18:13

Is the headteacher Miss Trunchball by any chance?

Bubblepanda · 08/02/2023 18:31

There is a check list for head teachers on gov.uk encouraging healthy lunch times. It also states

'There are many hidden benefits to a good food culture. When children sit down to eat with friends and teachers in a civilised environment, it cements relationships, helps them to develop social skills and reinforces positive behaviour throughout the day. Lunch is an integral part of the school day, and should be one of the most enjoyable'

Sounds miserable

Original poster
Happygolucky49 · 08/02/2023 19:13

The kids have been told things like if they talk too loudly someone might choke and it disrupts head teachers meetings, well don't schedule your meetings in the kids half an hour lunch break then...

OP posts:
Streamside · 08/02/2023 19:20

TirisfalPumpkin · 08/02/2023 14:01

You sure they’re in a school and not an extremely strict monastery?

Does it involve a black and white uniform and people prostrating themselves on the ground.

Streamside · 08/02/2023 19:22

Have you spoken to the Board of Governors to express your concerns.I wouldn't want my children to be in that kind of environment as it's possibly damaging.

HRTQueen · 08/02/2023 19:31

At ds primary they were often told to stop talking

i can imagine trying to get through two lunch sittings with chatterbox children like ds and his friends can be difficult so understand why at times there needs to be no taking

woodhill · 08/02/2023 19:40

Sound absolutely awful OP

Isthisexpected · 08/02/2023 19:44

They also have to walk through the school in silence with their hands behind backs and chin in the air.

^ we've just been through this with a new pupil behaviour and civility lead aka deputy head. Also the extremely limited toilet access. It's not on.

Thinkbiglittleone · 08/02/2023 21:03

The kids have been told things like if they talk too loudly someone might choke and it disrupts head teachers meetings, well don't schedule your meetings in the kids half an hour lunch break then

The children shouldn't be talking "loudly" in the lunch hall. Not through fear of choking, that's silly but just out of respect for others around them, it's a good thing to learn.
Also they should not be so loud in the lunch hall, that they can be heard loudly in another room.
Most schools look at the lunch hall for eating, and very quietly talking, but then getting out quickly to socialise.

TigeToo · 08/02/2023 21:10

Chin to the sky inmate!

baffledcoconut · 08/02/2023 21:17

One of the schools locally has started this. I can’t remember the name but it’s three things that are something like ‘magic learning’ including all following actions the teacher does when they do it, walking with hands behind their backs. Not speaking in common areas. All sounds fucked up to me.

Original poster
Happygolucky49 · 08/02/2023 21:50

She's clever this head, knows every workaround in the book and will deny everything.
The kids will be wrong, it won't be as parents have been told etc. She'll put a fake smile on for the governors and the parents.
Honestly this is going to get swept under the carpet regardless of complaints

OP posts:
Thinkbiglittleone · 09/02/2023 10:35

She's clever this head, knows every workaround in the book and will deny everything
The kids will be wrong, it won't be as parents have been told etc. She'll put a fake smile on for the governors and the parents.
Honestly this is going to get swept under the carpet regardless of complaints

If you truly believe this, why have you left your children in the school, if you believe it has a detrimental effect on your children surely you move them ?

Original poster
Happygolucky49 · 09/02/2023 12:07

Because until now it's only been little things, lack of communication etc but nothing that warranted immediate concern.
I've got a child in year 6, moving them with sats looming would be just as detrimental.
The other primary schools in the area either have bad reputations or are full (some parents have moved their children already to the ones that are full). I don't drive so any other options are in the next town which is heavily populated and spaces limited. Logistically I don't know how I'd get them there. Then there's a whole new set of uniform to add to it and working hours.
I appreciate what your saying and its a consideration depending on what the result of the complaints are but it isn't that easy at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
Happygolucky49 · 21/05/2023 11:10

Update on this for anyone interested...

Head has been off on long term sick since recieveing nearly 100 complaints in one day.

Acting heads have reversed all of these archaic rules and the kids are all loving life and happier.

Ofsted visited and school has maintained it's previous rating which I'm glad for, no need for the kids and teachers to suffer. Investigator did make a comment about missing head.

All being said I do hope the head is OK though

OP posts:
georgarina · 21/05/2023 11:18

qwertykeyboards · 08/02/2023 18:13

Is the headteacher Miss Trunchball by any chance?

I see someone's written my comment!!

Isthisexpected · 21/05/2023 12:07

I'm pleased for the kids. It sounded so awful and unnecessarily heavy handed.

pointythings · 21/05/2023 12:40

@Happygolucky49 that's an excellent update. This trend towards draconian behaviour management in scho.ols needs to be reversed as soon as possible.

Magenta82 · 22/05/2023 15:05

That's good to hear, I really hate this trend towards authoritarianism that seems to be happening in a lot of schools.