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AIBU?

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Original poster

To speak to the cafe owner about this.

78 replies

Heathcote294 · 08/02/2023 10:51

I walk my dog about twice a week in the countryside, on my own.

I park in a narrow lay-by, walk around the lake and then return to the car. If I follow the road (single track) in the direction I came in on it will take me around 3 miles to be able to turn onto a main road and then return home.

There's a cafe next to the lake that I frequently go to after my walk when it's open. It's currently out of season but the gates/carpark remain open as they have some holiday let's on the site. Instead of doing the extra 3 miles along the single track lane I turn around at the cafe. I dont drive fully into the carpark, I just put my front half of the car onto the drive and the reverse back so that I'm facing in the right direction for home.

The road is too narrow to do a 3 point turn and the narrow lay by I park in is sloped and muddy.
The only other turning spot is a busy working farm which I'd never use.

I know the owners to say hello to and I know they employ a man to do maintenance on the property let's. On 3 occasions now this man has been stood by the cafe as I turn the car around. He has stared absolute daggers at me and shook his head as I've done the manoover. He is it again yesterday.

You have to walk past the front of the cafe to get around the lake. I find this man really intimidating.

Am I in the wrong for doing this manoover in my car? I'm thinking of letting the cafe owners know that this man is putting me off using their cafe in the future and actually making me nervous of doing this lake walk altogether.

However, if I'm in the wrong then I obviously won't and I'll stop turning there. I just don't see what harm I'm doing when it's a business, not a private residence, the carpark is open and I'm not even driving up to the cafe.

To speak to the cafe owner about this.
OP posts:
ThreeblackCats · 08/02/2023 10:55

Just ask him next time he shakes his head “what’s the problem?”

FeinCuroxiVooz · 08/02/2023 10:56

Ignore him. focus on your driving, and you don't need to notice whether or not nearby pedestrians are looking daggers at you. it's not necessary to please everyone in the world, some people are grumpy bastards who can only be pleased by doormats. it's not your job to fix that so no need to talk to the cafe owners, just get on with your day.

LaviniasBigBloomers · 08/02/2023 10:57

If the car park is open then of course you're not doing anything wrong. He probably feels a bit territorial, like it's 'his' drive. Big smile and a wave next time you see him, but then I'm terribly pass agg when riled by a random man.

Augend23 · 08/02/2023 10:58

I would just carry in ignoring it. I don't think anything good will come of asking.

PumpkinPastiez · 08/02/2023 11:00

Is it their car park?

plumduck · 08/02/2023 11:00

Have they got a sign that says NO TURNING?

BloggersBlog · 08/02/2023 11:00

Big smile and a wave next time you see him, but then I'm terribly pass agg when riled by a random man

Exactly this. I am very PA too with silly people

GoodChat · 08/02/2023 11:04

Do you reverse back onto the road? He probably thinks you're daft for not using the car park to turn around and are instead reversing on to a narrow lane.

IAmAlreadyRegrettingMyGreyColourScheme · 08/02/2023 11:04

I'd ignore him but be prepared incase he approaches you in kick off mode.
A simple "I know the owners & will be happy to speak to them" should end further discussions with him.
For what it's worth he sounds like a dick.

FeinCuroxiVooz · 08/02/2023 11:10

GoodChat · 08/02/2023 11:04

Do you reverse back onto the road? He probably thinks you're daft for not using the car park to turn around and are instead reversing on to a narrow lane.

could be this? if you were reversing in and going forwards out you'll be less likely to see his facial expressions, but it could be that he's just being judgy about driving decisions in general rather than territorial about a foot of concrete.

JudgeRudy · 08/02/2023 11:17

I'd say if you're clearly using someone else's private land when their face clearly says they disapprove then you're an A1 CF. It's not like you hadn't thought about it....he's making his view clear. I'm assuming it's a scowl or similar. I'm glad you find this intimidating. That was his intention. He's not allowed to shoot you but he's very reasonably and effectively saying
"Get arwf my laaaand!"

Helpthismum · 08/02/2023 11:19

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Meceme · 08/02/2023 11:21

Is the 'narrow lay-by' you are parking in actually a lay-by or a passing place for this 3 mile single track lane? I live rurally and we often get people parking in passing places which makes life difficult for others.

MarkWithaC · 08/02/2023 11:22

I'd say kill him with kindness too. Smile and cheery wave. Every time. It'll piss him off no end.

angelpoise · 08/02/2023 11:22

I'd go the cheery wave route unless he worries you enough to feel in danger in which case I would either mention it to the owners or avoid the area

LaviniasBigBloomers · 08/02/2023 11:23

JudgeRudy · 08/02/2023 11:17

I'd say if you're clearly using someone else's private land when their face clearly says they disapprove then you're an A1 CF. It's not like you hadn't thought about it....he's making his view clear. I'm assuming it's a scowl or similar. I'm glad you find this intimidating. That was his intention. He's not allowed to shoot you but he's very reasonably and effectively saying
"Get arwf my laaaand!"

It's an open car park though - I absolutely agree if OP was using a private drive, but people are presumably parking there over the winter if it's open, so it's public.

Original poster
Heathcote294 · 08/02/2023 11:26

Meceme · 08/02/2023 11:21

Is the 'narrow lay-by' you are parking in actually a lay-by or a passing place for this 3 mile single track lane? I live rurally and we often get people parking in passing places which makes life difficult for others.

You may well have a good point there. I just followed suit and parked there as I'd seen others doing the same. It's long enough for around 3 cars so there is always room to use it to pass but that's not the point really.

There's no where else to park except the cafe carpark.

OP posts:
Original poster
Heathcote294 · 08/02/2023 11:27

JudgeRudy · 08/02/2023 11:17

I'd say if you're clearly using someone else's private land when their face clearly says they disapprove then you're an A1 CF. It's not like you hadn't thought about it....he's making his view clear. I'm assuming it's a scowl or similar. I'm glad you find this intimidating. That was his intention. He's not allowed to shoot you but he's very reasonably and effectively saying
"Get arwf my laaaand!"

It's not his land though.

OP posts:
Original poster
Heathcote294 · 08/02/2023 11:28

GoodChat · 08/02/2023 11:04

Do you reverse back onto the road? He probably thinks you're daft for not using the car park to turn around and are instead reversing on to a narrow lane.

I didn't think of this although he's giving me daggers as soon as he sees the front of my car so I suspect its not the case.

OP posts:
Original poster
Heathcote294 · 08/02/2023 11:29

Thanks for all replies. I did a cheery wave the first time I saw him, thinking he might recognise me as a regular, soon stopped when I saw the look on his face. May go back to doing that.

OP posts:
Catspyjamas17 · 08/02/2023 11:30

His problem. If you don't want people to turn, don't buy a property where this will obviously happen.

Original poster
Heathcote294 · 08/02/2023 11:30

IAmAlreadyRegrettingMyGreyColourScheme · 08/02/2023 11:04

I'd ignore him but be prepared incase he approaches you in kick off mode.
A simple "I know the owners & will be happy to speak to them" should end further discussions with him.
For what it's worth he sounds like a dick.

I'll remember that for if he does ever say something. Thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
Heathcote294 · 08/02/2023 11:32

Catspyjamas17 · 08/02/2023 11:30

His problem. If you don't want people to turn, don't buy a property where this will obviously happen.

Yeh and it's also not even his property. He's employed by the owners.

They also have a chain that goes across the front of the carpark. It's not up when I'm doing this.

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 08/02/2023 11:35

Heathcote294 · 08/02/2023 11:26

You may well have a good point there. I just followed suit and parked there as I'd seen others doing the same. It's long enough for around 3 cars so there is always room to use it to pass but that's not the point really.

There's no where else to park except the cafe carpark.

Show quote history

It probably is a passing place and it's so frustrating when people use these to park as If there's 2 tractors passing or vehicles with trailers then it creates huge issues if one of them will then have to massively reverse so they can get past!

GoodChat · 08/02/2023 11:40

I didn't think of this although he's giving me daggers as soon as he sees the front of my car so I suspect its not the case.

If it's a regular thing he may recognise you.

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