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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have no idea what to buy a 4 year old boy

89 replies

whattobuy4 · 08/02/2023 04:15

My daughter has been invited to her first birthday party of a friend. It's a boy who is turning 4 years old. It's a soft play party on Saturday.

I thought I'd spend about £20 for a gift, but husband thinks it should be less.

So my questions are

What on earth do I buy?
How much do I spend?

(Sorry it's not an AIBU, but I need the traffic AIBU seems to get)

OP posts:
RhadamanthNemes · 08/02/2023 04:21

Lego!

elevenplusdilemma · 08/02/2023 04:21

I spend around £5-7 for just a classmate and £10-12 if a best friend.
For classmate presents at that age, I buy things like a sticker book and pack of sweeties, small box of Lego, Plasticine, card game, Hot Wheels cars, little toys from Tiger Tiger etc.

ANP2020 · 08/02/2023 04:38

If there’s a contact for the parent on the invite, just ask what they’re into. My little boy just had his first reception party and loads of the parents did this! It meant he got things he was into.

The people who didn’t ask some of it was a bit wasted as unfortunately he hasn’t looked at it since, he got some hot wheels for example but isn’t into them at all so they haven’t been opened yet.

PotKettel · 08/02/2023 04:39

Play doh. Look on Argos or Amazon.

TooSmallForTheMembrane · 08/02/2023 04:44

£10 Max if I can help it! (I’ll spend a couple more quid if desperate or it’s a closer friend)

Don’t overthink.

stayathomer · 08/02/2023 04:48

Presents have always been about 15 (EURO) here- 20 pounds sounds like a lot! Age four I’ve always gone for a four pack of play dough and a jigsaw puzzle or a book or teddy

SquigglePigs · 08/02/2023 05:50

We've been going for one of the Orchard Toys games for that age. They're usually about £8 and it's generally gone down well.

phoenixrosehere · 08/02/2023 06:07

ANP2020 · 08/02/2023 04:38

If there’s a contact for the parent on the invite, just ask what they’re into. My little boy just had his first reception party and loads of the parents did this! It meant he got things he was into.

The people who didn’t ask some of it was a bit wasted as unfortunately he hasn’t looked at it since, he got some hot wheels for example but isn’t into them at all so they haven’t been opened yet.

Agree with this. Your child might know them but they’re still a random child to you so better to simply ask.

EcoCustard · 08/02/2023 06:07

I always spend between £7-12 on party gifts.

Lego is good, some of the 4+ or 5+ sets. They do a good small box of generic Lego which I have gifted a few times. It can be worth asking what their interests are. I have put a toy shop gift voucher in a card a few times with a novelty sweet.

Bleese · 08/02/2023 06:27

We go to loads of fourth snd fifth birthday parties. People tend to spend £7-£15 round here.

SNWannabe · 08/02/2023 06:29

£10
I would go for playdoh, other art supplies or Lego

Rayna37 · 08/02/2023 06:34

Books! Can't go wrong with a couple of well chosen picture books at four and they're never clutter. I also second the Orchard game suggestion.

Bellaphant · 08/02/2023 06:39

My 3.5 year old would love:.
A paw patrol puzzle
A cheap craft kit from the works (they've got some for £5 and less)
One of those toys you put in water and expand
A dinosaur body flannel (Wilko's, about £3)
An orchard game will go down well with the parents
Bubbles!

WonderingWanda · 08/02/2023 06:44

Take a look at the Argos 2 for £15 toys they make great birthday presents, you can keep one in the cupboard for the next party. Includes Lego, puzzles character toys craft kits. For a 4 yo the Lego City stuff is good.

Newuser82 · 08/02/2023 06:48

An airplane that you shoot to make fly with a gun. Amazon sells them. Or else play doh, lego, books or art supplies.

Whattheladybird · 08/02/2023 06:51

Definitely don’t spend £20. There may be many of these ahead. I tend now to buy multiple things when I see them on a sale.

I have been the mum of four year old boys and we’re going to a four year old boy’s birthday party at the weekend.

Lego is ideal.
Other things that have worked well include a game (an orchard game, pass the pigs, little card games like Dobble, Silly Safari or similar)
Play dough even though I hate it.
a little kite
a ball
Stomp rocket set

Whatapalava67 · 08/02/2023 06:57

Kinetic sand... both my kids love it.

HS1990 · 08/02/2023 06:58

I was amazed by the toys and books section in TK Maxx and am planning to return soon for some present buying coming up. E.g. 10 pack sticker activity book set for a tenner when RRP was 50quid!

BigSwingingJeremyClarkson · 08/02/2023 07:03

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

WhatHappenedToYoyos · 08/02/2023 07:04

Poo Bingo (absolute winner in our house)
Counting Mountain
Guess Who

midnightblue12 · 08/02/2023 07:05

I normally get a £10 gift voucher for the entertainer and a fancy packet of sweets in a tub!
My son got lots of presents for his birthday (which were very greatful for) but the ones which were most enjoyed were the sweets and vouchers.
Sadly most of the rest have been I played with!

brillianthopefulness · 08/02/2023 07:05

Lego
Kinetic
Sand
Slime kit
Spider-Man backpack
Paw Patrol things
Water guns
Garden games
Marble run
Nice book plus felt tips
Galt used to do nice kits - like make a bouncy ball etc
Something from Smiggle

GiltEdges · 08/02/2023 07:07

I’d definitely ask the parent for suggestions if you can. DS recently had his 4th birthday at a soft play and we similarly had around 30 gifts from his preschool classmates, of which at least half he wasn’t interested in. From this thread alone, playdoh and Lego would both be complete misses, but he loves hot wheels toys and dinosaurs. Every 4yo will be different.

user1188 · 08/02/2023 07:09

Kinetic sand is good. Lego is also fab. My son is quite into hot wheels right now.

My son is 4 and there was a few people who either put money in a card or gave a voucher which was fab as he loved being able to go and pick something.

People think it's a cop out but I think it's a good idea if you genuinely have no idea. My only consent would be wether the money actually gets spent on the child though.

There's also no harm in sending a text and asking what the child is in to

Mummyme87 · 08/02/2023 07:12

I have two boys, 5 and 8. Do not spend over £10 on a classmate, it’s totally unnecessary and when you have parties a couple of times a month, that isn’t feasible.
most toys that my boys have been given end up not being played with, Ivan got loads of gifts from over the years in a cupboard. My 5yr old had a party a couple of weeks ago, and I text all the parents saying we don’t expect gifts etc but if you really want to, a few pounds in a card, some sweets, a hot wheels car… that would be perfect.
we got a mixture, some toys, cash and sweets. The cash went down a treat as we went to the Lego store and he bought a bigger Lego set.

i usually put £5 in a card and a few packets of sweets. The other day I did that plus a hot wheels car.
for best friends I would spend a little bit more