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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have no idea what to buy a 4 year old boy

89 replies

whattobuy4 · 08/02/2023 04:15

My daughter has been invited to her first birthday party of a friend. It's a boy who is turning 4 years old. It's a soft play party on Saturday.

I thought I'd spend about £20 for a gift, but husband thinks it should be less.

So my questions are

What on earth do I buy?
How much do I spend?

(Sorry it's not an AIBU, but I need the traffic AIBU seems to get)

OP posts:
Crumpetdisappointment · 08/02/2023 07:15

a hot wheel car or similar

TokyoSushi · 08/02/2023 07:17

Around £10. Small Lego set or 5 pack of hotwheels cars, you can't go wrong!

HS1990 · 08/02/2023 07:18

Could also go for an experience day package? There are promo codes out there that can save you some money x

WeightoftheWorld · 08/02/2023 07:18

I used to spend £10 - 15 on presents for kids parties but a lot of people in my circles spend around £20 because we tend to move in quite affluent circles (we are not so much ourselves though!). With CoL crisis now though we've had to make some small cut backs so I only spend £8-£10 now on presents. Our kids are invited to a lot of birthday parties every year so it does add up.

sunnydayhereandnow · 08/02/2023 07:18

If you’re not 100% sure what to get, go for a big chain toyshop with a gift receipt so they can exchange if they already have it. My 3yo got 3 little outdoor football goals(!) from friends but luckily we could exchange.

Sausagedognamedmash · 08/02/2023 07:21

£5-£10 max. If you have a hobbycraft close by we go and stock up on the paint your own money boxes, make a dream catcher etc kits a couple of times a year and they do for both my 4 year old DSs friends and my 7 year Dds friends. I have a bag in the cupboard with ready to go presents then. If it's a close friend I may go and get something different and a bit special but honestly they go down so well and kids love a crafty thing.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 08/02/2023 07:22

£7-10 feels right to me.

I wouldn’t get a gun, many boys would like it but a considerable proportion of parents wouldn’t.

Either ask for suggestions or buy a gift from your local supermarket and provide the receipt so they can exchange if unwanted/duplicated.

MRex · 08/02/2023 07:31

£5-15
Lego
Stomp rocket
Monster truck (monster jam or hot wheels)
Little hot wheels cars, or if he has some add extra pack for tracks, track builder thing that pushes the cars faster - whatever's on sale.

EmmaDilemma5 · 08/02/2023 07:36

Bath toy, books, character PJ's, stickers, first baking cook, football, hungry hippo

Newnamenewname109870 · 08/02/2023 07:36

Ask your daughter what he likes. Then go for a book and a small puzzle. Don’t overthink the fact that he’s a ‘boy’ it’s the same stuff.
Also agree that Lego is a good one.

BigSwingingJeremyClarkson · 08/02/2023 07:38

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Whitewolf2 · 08/02/2023 07:39

I’d spend £10 and get Lego or Playmobil, some superhero figures, Paw Patrol or maybe a T shirt.

PinkPantherPaws · 08/02/2023 07:43

Wow...there's a lot of people spending a lot on a gift!

We stick a fiver in a card (ds is 5). For 3 or 4 of his closest friends that are really into pokemon cards, they get a pack of those in the envelope too.

£20 on a classmates gift is bonkers.

Sceptre86 · 08/02/2023 07:50

I'd ask what he is into. At 4 my son loved dinosaurs, lego, playddough arts and craft stuff and anything hot wheels. He was no longer into paw patrol by then. He loved any type of vehicle toy.

Blablablablaba · 08/02/2023 07:56

£20 is quite generous but I wouldn't say over the top.

I usually spend about £15 for classmate party as that's at least what the cost of having my child there is and if it's a gd friend about £20-£25.

When she had her party last year I'd say most people spent about that too but some spent closer to £20 and 2 have £20 in a card.

I'd say u usually can't go wrong with lego at that age.

newposters · 08/02/2023 07:57

If it's a party, it's quite likely he'll be given a LOT of plastic, fiddly things he might not even want. I'd get a voucher for Smyths (or similar) and let him pick what he wants.

IVbumble · 08/02/2023 08:00

Gruffalo Dobble is £9.99 on Amazon atm.

averythinline · 08/02/2023 08:29

please dont get kinetic sand unless you hate the parents! not keen on playdoh...
id say 4 was a bit young for lego so would look playmobil/cars/brio? /dressing up?
if you can check with parents much better ...less waste as well as more fun....

Decafflatteplease · 08/02/2023 08:34

We normally spend between £5 and £10. Recent parties we've gone to we've given a paint set, a sticker book and crayons. Orchard games are also a great idea we often go for those especially the mini / travel ones are only around £5.

I also always ask the parents what they are into.

TheGoogleMum · 08/02/2023 08:44

I thought a token £5 would do it until we had a party and my daughter got gifts that definitely cost more than that!
A couple of parents asked what she liked which was nice
There was also plenty of kinetic sand (we are reluctant to get it out because of the mess!)
One person got us a toy shop voucher - less exciting for the kid but actually can make sure gift is non duplicate and DD loves what she bought with the voucher

prescribingmum · 08/02/2023 08:50

I usually message the parent and ask if the child has any particular interests or requests. As the children are different ages, I’m assuming it’s a child of a friend of yours? If that is the case, it makes it even easier to ask

I have a boy who is similar age and Lego/construction type toys (magnet tiles etc) would be a huge hit with your budget. Games tend to be another successful one at this age - Dobble, Guess Who, Connect 4, Uno, Mastermind, Battleships are some of his favourites. I would give a gift receipt with any of these just in case they are duplicated

justasking111 · 08/02/2023 08:52

Money in with the birthday card. Saves on the junk

prescribingmum · 08/02/2023 08:52

Sorry I didn’t read OP properly - it’s one of her friends. In that case I usually spend £10-15 but would still ask parent if you know them otherwise my suggestions would be the ones I put

Topbird29 · 08/02/2023 09:01

Prob spend £7 - £10.
You can get an egg that hatches q dinosaur after a couple days in water- not sure ofvthe exact name, but they are pretty cool.

MusicWithRocksIn · 08/02/2023 09:10

It's interesting to read the different budgets. I'd been spending about £10 as I assumed that was the going rate, but my DD recently had a party and all the cash and vouchers she recived were £20 and most of the presents had probably cost about that too. So for the parties my DC have been too since then, I have spent around £20.

We're in a very mixed income area.

For a 4 year old I would go for an Orchard game. Shopping List, Bus Stop, Tummy Ache and 3 Little Pigs were favourites here at that age.