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Original poster

Me and Partner to get married alone?

57 replies

Scoobydoobydoobydoo0987 · 07/02/2023 20:55

Me and DP been together 20 years, both 36. Have 2 kids and share a home. We have discussed getting married just the 2 of us without any family at a Registry office. Are we being unreasonable? We want to get married without the fuss of a wedding or wedding day. Who could we ask to be witnesses if we wanted it to be just us and no family?

OP posts:
Missingpate · 08/02/2023 05:52

We got married on our own five years ago and it was a magical day. Told close family and friends in advance as we wanted them to feel included in the planning; went dress shopping with my mum and had a lovely day out together trying things on (before buying an online dress); called everyone close on the day and sent pics, and once home about a week afterwards went for a lovely meal with immediate family. The wedding itself was just us in a venue that provided witnesses, outdoor ceremony in a wildflower meadow in Scotland, so beautiful. We enjoyed a few days away and it was so relaxing. Wouldn’t change a thing. No one was upset, everyone supportive.

UsingChangeofName · 08/02/2023 20:49

SuperSange · 08/02/2023 05:38

You sound like a peach!! That kind of manipulation is why people elope. It's certainly why we did. There is no way MIL and I would still have a relationship if we'd had a regular wedding as she's very manipulative, so we eloped. No she didn't like it, but she caused it.
I was vindicated five years later when my husband's sister got married and she had little say in her own wedding, even though her and new husband were paying for it.

Show quote history

How do you get from me saying I would feel sad inside, to me being manipulative ? Confused

Bit of a leap there. Maybe projecting a little ??

2 of my dc are already planning their weddings, and I've not offered any opinions other than when I have been asked, and even then I always try to put the pros and cons of different ways of doing things.

It is totally up to them what they do and how they do it. dh and I had our choices when we had our wedding. I think it is great there are so many more options for people now than there used to be.
As it turns out, they like their family too and want them all to be there. I really don't think it is that unusual.

Doesn't men that I (and I think virtually everyone I know) wouldn't feel a teeny bit sad inside if their dc chose to get married but chose not to invite those close to them. That doesn't make it wrong for people to do it - we all have different family dynamics and relationships, don't we ? But I can assure you, there is no manipulation in our family.

twinmum2007 · 08/02/2023 20:53

We did that. Went to Vegas. Only told people when we got back. Go for it.

pussycatinfluffyslippers · 08/02/2023 20:54

Do it.

My cousin did, and I wish we had.

justadress · 08/02/2023 20:58

This is what OH and I plan to do. Neither of us want a big wedding, it's just not us. Some family members will be disappointed but it's what we want. They'll have to get over it.

UWhatNow · 08/02/2023 20:59

We eloped. Randoms for witnesses. It was fab and a very intimate beautiful memory for us both. That said, I love a family wedding but if it’s not right, the next best thing is a deux.

harriethoyle · 08/02/2023 21:00

We got married with 5 guests, 4 of whom were DPIL/DSC. It was absolutely magical. Told the extended family on Christmas day although my SIL had spotted the table arrangement MIL took home and guessed 😆 No ructions from anyone at all. It was lovely and so much more meaningful for both of us than our first time round traditional white weddings (to other people not each other!).

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