To wonder why people do this

[ThisNameIsNotAvailable]

Recently I’ve had a connection to a couple of situations which have been in the news. The social media commentary from complete randomers who made statements confidently as if they knew the facts but were massively wrong has made me wonder what goes on in people’s minds when they post. It was pretty upsetting when the connection was to a death and people were (incorrectly) talking about the cause of death.

On another (but connected) note, where a crime has been committed and people state with huge confidence what the police should be doing, as if the police don’t know the basics of how to do their job.

If you do this, I’m really interested to know why, I’m sure no one means to upset anyone. I’d just like to understand better.

Self-important, attention seekers usually - whose 'expertise' in the matters comes from watching TV shows.

I often find people's mouths are inversely proportional to their IQ.....especially when it comes to opinions.

They do it so they can say "I told you so" if they happen to be right because they have nothing better to do in their lives than seek validation from others.

Before social media was even a thing I heard 2 women discussing my sons death and how I had apparently been arrested for murder, I soon set them straight and they looked mortified.

The Internet gives people anonymity and they can just click away if they realise they have upset someone, as if it is a TV programme and not someone's actual real life.

You'll see people on here starting threads after a tragedy listing all the ways it would never happen to them because they are superior to the family suffering the tragedy.

This 👆👆

I believe it’s called the Dunning Kruger effect.

That is awful, how hurtful. This is what I don’t understand - surely anyone would realise how awful this is but it’s like they’re convinced they’re right.

There are people on here who do it which is why I’m asking really. Hoping someone will explain from the perspective of someone who does it.

Christ @FourAndTwentyBlackbirdsBakedInAPie , I'm so sorry for your loss but my God I hope you gave them hell

Funnily enough I am in the midst of this currently surrounding a death of a distant family member. I know how the person died but I look at the social media postings of people who barely said hello to the person but can say with confidence they knew they had had a tough life and now their suffering was over, clearly trying to assert this person had killed themselves. They did not but the confidence surrounding some peoples incorrect views has astounded me.

Welcome to MN. It’s not just high profile cases, there are some genuinely knowledgeable and helpful posters…. and then there are others. The level of making a statement and everyone assuming it as fact is part and parcel of the internet these days.

@ThisNameIsNotAvailable I guess people believe in their own analysis but may not have all the necessary perspectives or knowledge, so they base their conclusion on what they know or think they know and extrapolate from.there.

It's to make themselves seem important and relevant by placing themselves in the middle of the drama.

What’s annoying is these people never reflect on how wrong they were. They just carry on the same with the next story.

On another (but connected) note, where a crime has been committed and people state with huge confidence what the police should be doing, as if the police don’t know the basics of how to do their job.

to be fair, they often appear not to be able to find their own backsides with both hands and a map.

People like to sound as though they know what's going on. Always have done, but the internet gives them a bigger platform

Perhaps It’s the modern equivalent of gossiping over the garden fence.

I suppose I’d feel less bothered by it if people said ‘I think’ or ‘I wonder if’….

It’s the way that they claim to speak factually. Dunning Kruger effect makes sense - never heard of it before this thread so thank you.

These people annoy me so much. I don't even know why people feel in a position to comment just because they watch the news or have read something.

I frequently finding myself saying to people, "how do you know that for sure?"

"where a crime has been committed and people state with huge confidence what the police should be doing, as if the police don’t know the basics of how to do their job."

Well the Police know what they should do, but then sexism, classic, racism etc gets in the way and they don't do what they should have. In the last couple of years there's been a few people who've frozen to death in parks because of the Police's lack of action. There's been the dismissing of stalkers, women being branded liars etc and the lack of action means that the woman has been murdered. Those are two separate issues in your OP. I agree that the speculation around deaths is very wrong.

Perhaps that’s the case sometimes but I’d be astounded if the police were watching the Facebook thread reporting on a crime to find that Dave from Stevenage has suggested checking CCTV and they’re thinking ‘shit I never thought of that’

As you say OP, I think it’s the modern equivalent of gossiping over the garden fence

Yet there's still cases were they didn't do that quickly enough, or haven't got in touch with a mobile provider. The Police have decided that Nicola has fell into the water and on that basis have not searched all of the houses. People are going to wonder at that decision.

I don’t think they are separate issues. Perhaps I’ve explained it poorly. My question is not about accountability and whether the police can do their job. It’s about why people feel that it’s OK to comment on social media with a sense of confidence which massively outweighs their actual experience.

One example was people commenting on a news report about sentencing of someone and why he was given such a long sentence. People saying ‘it’s not his first offence’ as fact when it absolutely was, then everyone else takes that as factual.

Tbh I've been a victim of crime caught on cctv I told them there was cctv checked with the owner of the camera made sure they didn't record over it months later they hadn't contacted them so I again pointed out there was cctv waiting for them they assured me they would get it still nothing this is a person known to me BTW they then decided to drop the case against him as it was my word against his and there was no evidence he was denying he was even there his family said he was elsewhere etc I pointed out again there was cctv ahhh well its been dropped now tell you what why dont you sign a harassment warning and we will get him to do the same and you can leave each other alone eh? No just no apparently I was "uncooperative" and had an "attitude"

This is a suprise to them? We literally have cctv from an independent witness who didn't even know either of us (new to the area) but it was far too much trouble to look at it instead they went to his house his mom said he was there they said righto and that was it

I have zero confidence in the police

I think part of it is that many people don't write very well. It's easy enough to write something that, had it been spoken aloud, might have conveyed a different meaning. Writing "Oh look, X happened ..." could easily be interpreted in a number of ways:
"I have specific knowledge about X ...", or
"I believe that X ought to be the reason" or
"I am at a loss as to how this could have occurred, perhaps it was X ..." or
"I care very much about issues related to X and this appears to be another instance".

In many cases, people posting online are just lonely and when a story breaks that is relatable to them, theirs is the perspective from which they share their thoughts about it. Narcissistic? Yes - but so is sharing photos of your dinner.

I also think that sometimes people are trying to be kind, but end up being clumsy. I put my dog down some time ago, and so many people came up to me and said to my face that I had no choice. But part of the reason I was upset was because I did have a choice, and I made it - it was my dog that didn't. These people were just trying to be kind - but their desire to say something comforting was more about them feeling uncomfortable with an awkward silence, and instead it just riled me.

The threads on here about Nicola Bulley and the Epsom deaths are nothing short of disgraceful. I reported them based on the ghoulish speculation and blatant grief vulturism and got a bland reply saying ‘sorry you’re upset but people like like to talk about news’.

The people posting on them with their batshit theories and advice for the police are pathetic.

This is really close to home for me. My family endured a bloody awful, shocking tragedy just over a year ago and we've been covered by the news ever since. We engage with the media because we need to raise money for legal fees and we've had a huge amount of support on social media but there's a very dark side to the attention. Some of the comments on social media are vile and people don't seem to realise there is a real, traumatised and grief stricken family at the heart of the story. Or maybe they do realise and just don't care.

Some people like to taunt me online about my mum's last moments. Others like to sit in judgement of my dad without any real understanding of the situation my parents were in. I shouldn't read them, I try not to but it's hard and it hurts like hell.

I’m so sorry @EuphemiaLives I didn’t mean to cause anyone pain. I can request that MN delete the thread if you prefer. No judgement