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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why people do this

29 replies

ThisNameIsNotAvailable · 07/02/2023 20:10

Recently I’ve had a connection to a couple of situations which have been in the news. The social media commentary from complete randomers who made statements confidently as if they knew the facts but were massively wrong has made me wonder what goes on in people’s minds when they post. It was pretty upsetting when the connection was to a death and people were (incorrectly) talking about the cause of death.

On another (but connected) note, where a crime has been committed and people state with huge confidence what the police should be doing, as if the police don’t know the basics of how to do their job.

If you do this, I’m really interested to know why, I’m sure no one means to upset anyone. I’d just like to understand better.

OP posts:
EuphemiaLives · 07/02/2023 22:24

@ThisNameIsNotAvailable Bless you, but honestly, it's fine. I'm genuinely intrigued as to why people do it. I wish someone would come along and account for themselves.

FourAndTwentyBlackbirdsBakedInAPie · 08/02/2023 09:59

OhClunge · 07/02/2023 20:42

Christ @FourAndTwentyBlackbirdsBakedInAPie , I'm so sorry for your loss but my God I hope you gave them hell

I had just been to register my sons death so I had the certificate with me.

They were standing gossiping about a teenager that murdered her baby and I vaguely though "god that's awful" then they said the day and the street name and I realised they were talking about me.

I went over, introduced myself, explained that I wasn't in custody or even a suspect, showed them his death certificate and specifically the part of the cause of death, explained that I had donated his organs too (which wouldn't have happened if my darling boy was murdered) and told them to shut the fuck up with their gossip.

Neither said a word, both were bright red, and after I had finished my rant I got a mumbled "sorry" and I just walked out.

20 years later I heard a rumour that I had been in jail for my sons death too so the rumour never went away.

These people are like leeches, they want to attach themselves to a tragedy for a bit of attention, without feeling the pain of losing someone. Then when they are done they move on to the next one.

Meanwhile those of us that have to live through these things remember everything and it can haunt us daily, while those who thrived off the attention for a short while can't even remember our loved ones names anymore.

I'm so sorry to anyone who has had to live through this shit, it's not easy at all.

OhClunge · 08/02/2023 11:36

I'm glad you found the strength to put them straight, that must have been hard @FourAndTwentyBlackbirdsBakedInAPie it hurts
Some people are just vile

ThisNameIsNotAvailable · 08/02/2023 13:53

FourAndTwentyBlackbirdsBakedInAPie · 08/02/2023 09:59

I had just been to register my sons death so I had the certificate with me.

They were standing gossiping about a teenager that murdered her baby and I vaguely though "god that's awful" then they said the day and the street name and I realised they were talking about me.

I went over, introduced myself, explained that I wasn't in custody or even a suspect, showed them his death certificate and specifically the part of the cause of death, explained that I had donated his organs too (which wouldn't have happened if my darling boy was murdered) and told them to shut the fuck up with their gossip.

Neither said a word, both were bright red, and after I had finished my rant I got a mumbled "sorry" and I just walked out.

20 years later I heard a rumour that I had been in jail for my sons death too so the rumour never went away.

These people are like leeches, they want to attach themselves to a tragedy for a bit of attention, without feeling the pain of losing someone. Then when they are done they move on to the next one.

Meanwhile those of us that have to live through these things remember everything and it can haunt us daily, while those who thrived off the attention for a short while can't even remember our loved ones names anymore.

I'm so sorry to anyone who has had to live through this shit, it's not easy at all.

Bloody hell! I’m so sorry that you had to deal with this on top of the loss of your lovely boy.

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