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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To confront my nanny

72 replies

Panky82 · 06/02/2023 19:41

So I have on good information that my nanny is job hunting on childcare sites. Do I confront her or just start my own search (incognito)?

OP posts:
jannier · 06/02/2023 20:59

I'm a childminder I have no spaces but people look at me I message back on childcare website it says I've been on same if I use any of their paperwork or training. Then people get nasty saying why won't you take my child. .....could it be the same? But also people often see what's out there ... .she could be planning on asking for a raise.

DottieUncBab · 06/02/2023 21:00

rosesinmygarden · 06/02/2023 19:45

You know shes perfectly entitled to job hunt, right?

Maybe have a chat with her about how she's finding working for you and if she'd like to review anything.

The fact that your first reaction is to either spy on her or confront her speaks volumes.

This! I think this post says more about you than the nanny

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 06/02/2023 21:03

@mathanxiety spot on.

Op I'm sorry you are coming across as a bit immature

ShakespearesBlister · 06/02/2023 21:07

She's your nanny, not your hostage. She owes you nothing.

JustAGirlInACountrySong · 06/02/2023 21:07

Flounced!

TerrysGotPeeves · 06/02/2023 21:10

Oh I love a good auld flounce. How pathetic.

ChilliBandit · 06/02/2023 21:12

flounce
/flaÊŠns/

verb
go or move in an exaggeratedly impatient or angry manner.

MysteryBelle · 06/02/2023 21:16

Op, never ever use the words confront or furious or the furious will confront you and bully you off this site 😀😂 don’t take it personally, they have issues. Even when you give the definition that proves them wrong, they will become more furious and confrontational. Just be very glad you don’t have to deal with them in real life 😉

Marylou62 · 06/02/2023 21:45

NeverDropYourMooncup · 06/02/2023 20:37

Nanny

næni
Word forms: plural nannies
COUNTABLE NOUN
A nanny is someone who is paid by parents to look after their child or children.

Compare to

indentured

ɪndentʃəʳd
ADJECTIVE [usually ADJECTIVE noun]
In the past, an indentured worker was one who was forced to work for someone for a period of time, because of an agreement made by people in authority.

Also worth noting

employment tribunal
in British English
NOUN
(in England, Scotland, and Wales) a tribunal that rules on disputes between employers and employees regarding unfair dismissal, redundancy, etc
See also industrial tribunal

Show quote history

Hahahaha... I love this reply..(I'm a nanny btw and am often just browsing.. I'm very happy in my present job)

IDontWantToBeAPie · 06/02/2023 21:56

Why would you confront someone for legally within her rights looking for another job?

She's not a slave she's your employee. If you're not fulfilling her needs in terms of workload, wage etc she's entitled to look elsewhere.

Don't be a raging tw*t.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 06/02/2023 21:58

Panky82 · 06/02/2023 20:15

confront
verb [ T ]
UK
/kənˈfrʌnt/ US
/kənˈfrʌnt/

C2
to face, meet, or deal with a difficult situation or person

In modern British understanding to confront is to attack or be aggressive with discussing.

Not a simple talk

Nevermindthesquirrels · 06/02/2023 22:43

Based on your replies I'm not surprised she's job hunting.

WhoNeedsSleepNotISaidMyBody · 06/02/2023 22:47

LookItsMeAgain · 06/02/2023 19:46

Your nanny is allowed to look for other jobs, to move on to other things. Why would you want to "confront" them?

If you like them and want them to continue working for you, why not see if there's something you can do to improve things for them?

@LookItsMeAgain

what's with the 'they'???

Why not HER ??

SandyY2K · 06/02/2023 23:10

I presume she has to give you notice if she finds another job?

Regularsizedrudy · 06/02/2023 23:14

Shes your nanny not your slave for fucks sake

VeniVidiWeeWee · 06/02/2023 23:58

@WhoNeedsSleepNotISaidMyBody

  1. Lookitsmeagain never used the word they.
  1. Men can be nannys. Look at the Norland website.
LookItsMeAgain · 07/02/2023 08:50

WhoNeedsSleepNotISaidMyBody · 06/02/2023 22:47

@LookItsMeAgain

what's with the 'they'???

Why not HER ??

Show quote history

Don't get your knickers or boxers in a twist there @WhoNeedsSleepNotISaidMyBody!

I just used the word them which covered whether the nanny was a he/him or a she/her or a they/them. It's actually an all inclusive word, covers loads of bases. Not exclusionary.

You picked it up as one thing which is not what I meant when I typed my reply.

Now back to this poor nanny potentially facing the Spanish Inquisition!!!

TidyDancer · 07/02/2023 09:24

If the OP's responses on this thread are anything like her in real life then I can completely understand why the nanny wants out! Aggressive, rude and childish....who wouldn't want that in an employer? 🙄

WhoNeedsSleepNotISaidMyBody · 07/02/2023 17:58

VeniVidiWeeWee · 06/02/2023 23:58

@WhoNeedsSleepNotISaidMyBody

  1. Lookitsmeagain never used the word they.
  1. Men can be nannys. Look at the Norland website.

@VeniVidiWeeWee

'Them' then 🙄🙄🙄

yes men can be nannies, but the OP Made it clear her nanny is female

no need for THEM!!

FFS

WhoNeedsSleepNotISaidMyBody · 07/02/2023 18:07

LookItsMeAgain · 07/02/2023 08:50

Don't get your knickers or boxers in a twist there @WhoNeedsSleepNotISaidMyBody!

I just used the word them which covered whether the nanny was a he/him or a she/her or a they/them. It's actually an all inclusive word, covers loads of bases. Not exclusionary.

You picked it up as one thing which is not what I meant when I typed my reply.

Now back to this poor nanny potentially facing the Spanish Inquisition!!!

Show quote history

@LookItsMeAgain The OP made it clear her nanny is female.

she/her are still valid words, they don't need to be them/they'd out of existence!

ouch321 · 07/02/2023 18:11

I know why the nanny is job hunting.

It is because, when she took the post, she agreed to look after just one child, but on the basis of the tantrum thrown on this thread, it would seem she finds her hands full.

Offensiveapprently · 07/02/2023 18:34

Yout nanny us not your indentured servant. She is an employee with a right to keep her eyes on the job market. If you are thinking of confronting her about this I imagine you are a pretty confrontational person. I'd be doing the same as her.

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