To confront my nanny

[Panky82]

So I have on good information that my nanny is job hunting on childcare sites. Do I confront her or just start my own search (incognito)?

It was your choice of word “confront”
and it’s just so confrontational! Your posting style is aggy, and you know it so you’re being a bit defensive now.

a discussion about how the job is going and how happy she is, sure! To confront her with your detective work findings…nope!

confront
verb [ T ]
UK
/kənˈfrʌnt/ US
/kənˈfrʌnt/

C2
to face, meet, or deal with a difficult situation or person

I don't see why you would need to be confrontational about it. She's done nothing wrong.

You’re either proposing to speak to her to establish if there’s an issue that can be resolved, or you’re going to go incognito to be sure she is job hunting then confront her. Which is it? Because the latter is not conducive to a helpful conversation.

I wonder why she’s job hunting…

Certainly discuss it with her, but there is no need for confrontation. Have there been problems in your relationship with her?

Oh crikey, this is a waste of time I see.

Byeeeee

Oh give over op with the dictionary definition. 😂😂

I hope she finds something soon!

I never stop job hunting. It's becoming a bit of a hobby. I like interviewing. I'm getting good at it!

🤦🏼‍♀️

Did she sign a lifetime contract to work with you?

Why do you think she's looking for alternative employment?

Because she's not happy sheer she is perhaps?

Some people check out jobs even when they have no particular intention of moving.

I wasn't allowed to do that at Sixth Form College

OP if you're this argumentative and flouncy IRL then no wonder your nanny is looking for a new job and I'd say good luck to her!

To confront someone would be a serious, sit down discussion about something difficult or controversial with an accusatory tone ... A chat with your nanny about knowing she's active on a job site should be neither of those things if you are having that conversation because you want to keep a valued employee.

There's a massive difference between a conversation ie "Hey Nanny, I've heard that you've been looking on NannyJobSite recently. Is there a particular reason you've been on there? Are there any issues you want to discuss about our job?" and a confrontation ie "Hey Nanny, why are you looking for new jobs on NannyJobSite?! Are you planning on leaving?"

I thought you were going to say she was stealing from you or flirting with your DP or something like that. I don’t think “confront” is the right word for this situation at all.

Nanny

næni
Word forms: plural nannies
COUNTABLE NOUN
A nanny is someone who is paid by parents to look after their child or children.

Compare to

indentured

ɪndentʃəʳd
ADJECTIVE [usually ADJECTIVE noun]
In the past, an indentured worker was one who was forced to work for someone for a period of time, because of an agreement made by people in authority.

Also worth noting

employment tribunal
in British English
NOUN
(in England, Scotland, and Wales) a tribunal that rules on disputes between employers and employees regarding unfair dismissal, redundancy, etc
See also industrial tribunal

No what’s a waste of time @Panky82 is you claiming you need to “confront” a situation where your nanny may, as a PP suggested, just be logging in to tell others that she’s not available. Or she’s looking for work when she’s not working for you.

Or, she’s looking for work because she doesn’t like working for you - which is legal, not a contravention of anything, and is just life.

I don’t think “they’re all out tonight” on this thread.

I think however I’ll get the inevitable “this thread has been deleted while we take a look behind the scenes” nonsense, very soon…

I hope she finds a new job pronto 😂

Why would you confront her? I’m assuming as soon as you no longer want her in your employ you’ll happily let her go.

So why is it any different when she’s ready to leave that she leaves?

So you have good information that your nanny is job hunting , but are still thinking of going on the sites to see if she really is.

I can tell you she probably is looking for another job. I assume you have regular catch ups with her, and you ask her if all is well. I also assume she will have to give you sufficient notice to be able to find a replacement. Do you offer any incentive to her for staying a particular length of time?

Well then I think we can all understand why she's job hunting...

@Panky82

Is your nanny a difficult person?

What is it about this situation that you find 'difficult'?

I'll share some elements I would find difficult if I were your nanny:

You listen to gossip about your nanny.

You have an adversarial approach to communication.

You prejudge situations and people.

You seem unable to grasp thst the nanny is free to look at childcare sites and might be doing so for any number of reasons. But I think I know the main one all the same.

are you always this confrontational?

con·fron·ta·tion·al
/ˌkänfrənˈtāSH(ə)nəl/
Learn to pronounce
adjective
tending to deal with situations in an aggressive way; hostile or argumentative.
"he distanced himself from the confrontational approach adopted by his predecessor"

It's not difficult though. It's just life