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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be frustrated with her?

70 replies

WhenTheNightFalls · 06/02/2023 19:12

Ex work colleague was meant to have met me for a cup of tea today in her lunch break. Said she would text me beforehand just to make sure all OK. However, her lunch ended up being a lot earlier than I thought and so I was still asleep. She had tried texting me but did not call. I asked her why she did not call and she said she didn't want to disturb me so had just posted the birthday card she had for me through the door.
Meeting up will be much harder now as I start a new role soon. Aibu to be frustrated?

OP posts:

JessicaFletcherscrewnecksweater · 06/02/2023 23:38

Take responsibility for this, OP. It’s you, not her.

SouperNoodle · 06/02/2023 23:42

Why are you putting all the responsibility onto her?
It's not her job to call you to wake you up. She said she'd text and she did.

This is your fault 100% and your comments blaming her are really shitty.

JudgeRudy · 06/02/2023 23:48

If I was expecting someone round for lunch I'd be up at 11:15. If my texts were ignored (that was the plan) I'd think you weren't bothered. If I had 45mins lunch break left I'd do something productive.
Do you have form for being unreliable eg late, forget, wrong place etc?
If anyone should be annoyed it's her

Spiderboy · 06/02/2023 23:51

She’s working. She has limited availability. She realised you might have other plans so texted instead of called. I think she was being really considerate.

WingingItSince1973 · 06/02/2023 23:54

I get it OP I could sleep for England some days but if I had an arrangement with a friend who I thought I wouldn't see much of in the future due to work schedules, I would make sure my alarm was set multiple times so I was up and ready for her. Totally on you this one. Your friend was kind enough to come and pop a card in and text as was arranged. Stop looking for issues with her

Patineur · 07/02/2023 00:11

WhenTheNightFalls · 06/02/2023 21:05

Just wish she had called but apparently her call function is not working and she didn't want to disturb me..
I told her to text anyway if she wants to meet but she did not respond.

I don't follow this. In your first post you said she had texted?

BertaHoon · 07/02/2023 00:15

Omg. She's had a lucky escape. I'm sure was working fine and she was relieved to pop card through and leg.

Who arranged a lunch date (i.e 12) and is still asleep at 11.15? Other than you that is.

BertaHoon · 07/02/2023 00:17

*phone was working fine

*leg it

*arranges

I keep missing words out of texts. Slightly worried. Nevermind, no dates, I can sleep all day.

NumberTheory · 07/02/2023 00:38

I think it’s reasonable to be frustrated with the situation but very unreasonable to be frustrated with her. If anything she should be frustrated with you. She’s not your alarm clock.

Flowersfield · 07/02/2023 01:17

So let me get this straight she wanted to meet you on HER lunch break, she then text you to let you know all was ok to meet still (as she agreed) and then she HAND DELIVERED your card to your home and you're the one annoyed with her because she didn't call you as you were still SLEEPING....when you were supposed to be meeting her? If anything, she should be the one pissed off especially if she then saw your car in the driveway. She sounds like a really good friend to me.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 07/02/2023 01:28

YANBU to be frustrated with the situation, but YABU to be frustrated with your friend.

You fell back asleep because you were so exhausted. Hardly her fault!

Carlycat · 07/02/2023 02:12

Ridiculous post. Are you 10?

milkyaqua · 07/02/2023 04:05

BubziOwl · 06/02/2023 22:42

This is very odd, surely you can't be for real? She's the one that should be annoyed at you!!

Yes. Meanwhile, OP: It's all her fault!

lamaze1 · 07/02/2023 04:32

Yabvu. Yes you're exhausted, but you knew you were meeting for lunch so really should have been ready. Unless you work unusual hours, any place I've ever worked has lunch hours to be taken between midday and 2pm. Despite you not answering she made the effort to drop a card round. If anything your friend is likely understandably frustrated with you which maybe why she has replied.

lamaze1 · 07/02/2023 04:32

*hasntm't

lamaze1 · 07/02/2023 04:32

*hasn't!!

Outtasteamandluck · 07/02/2023 04:48

Ok I'll bite.

This is on you.

So she was meant to call as she was on lunch ? Which would have been 11;15? If she had where were you meeting ? You wouldn't have been ready if she had for another half an hour - shower teeth hair etc.

You should have set an alarm.

If this is true of course

Bluesgotaclue · 07/02/2023 05:03

You sound like an incredibly difficult friend to have.

TinaTeaspoons · 07/02/2023 21:52

Why were you still asleep at that time?
Also, just to make a point, asking her why she didn't call sounds rude if that's what you have put in a text. Surely the answer is obvious as to why she didn't. Sounds like you wanted her to call you and wake her up but she's not a mind reader and as she said, she was going to text so thats what she did. She was on limited time and your lack of response most likely messed her lunch break up.
You are blaming her which is really off to be honest. I wouldn't be happy with you either.

autienotnaughty · 07/02/2023 22:19

I don't think you have reason to be frustrated with her. She on the other hand has reason to be irritated with you

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