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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think we should be able to view a house even though we aren’t selling?

382 replies

HolidayHun2020 · 06/02/2023 15:39

So a house has come up for sale near us, we’re in a position that it’s not the ideal time for us to buy BUT for the right price and property we could make it work. Our house isn’t on the market but if we wanted to go for something we would put it up straight away. We plan to look at selling and actively trying to move within the next 6-12 months. I want to go and see this house as I saw it a couple of years ago and fell in love with it. It’s come up again, but the estate agent has said that we can’t view it unless we proceed with putting our house up and then if it’s a no from us on the house we are viewing we would then need to get out of the contract to sell our house!

AIBU that this is ridiculous? We just want to see this one house on the off chance it’s the one? If we offer and they say no under the circumstance fair enough. Should we just walk away until we are definitely ready to move.

OP posts:
HolidayHun2020 · 06/02/2023 19:40

Firecarrier · 06/02/2023 19:35

I think people would be more understanding if you'd not already seen the house!

And as for those who said they would pretend to be a millionaire if they wanted to visit a childhood friends hope etc, words fail me, how inconsiderate can you be?!

I used the wrong wording in my OP I HAVE not had a viewing at the house. Just meant I had seen it on Rightmove :)

OP posts:
HolidayHun2020 · 06/02/2023 19:43

NumberTheory · 06/02/2023 19:40

If it’s the estate agent blocking you and the vendors have not made a decision about either you individually or whether they want to have people who aren’t proceedable viewing, then you have a good point. But it is a common position for vendors to take because waiting on someone to sell their place is not at all attractive and many people are not interested in the risk and uncertainty involved.

Having experienced a very different system in another country I had my eyes opened to how dysfunctional the whole chain experience in the UK was and the compromises it pushed people into. When we last sold we didn’t accept anyone who was in a chain at all, whether they had a buyer for their place lined up or not. Too many risks and compromises attached and it slows everything down too much. We sold quickly and went into a rental while we found our ideal place - which we were able to move on fast and whose vendor, fortunately, wasn’t in a chain either.

So the estate agent said the vendor hasn’t mentioned any restrictions BUT they basically said we wouldn’t be taken seriously so they’ll only proceed if we put our house on the market, within twenty minutes I had a call with them trying to get a valuation visit booked in.

OP posts:
Rosscameasdoody · 06/02/2023 19:47

HolidayHun2020 · 06/02/2023 19:43

So the estate agent said the vendor hasn’t mentioned any restrictions BUT they basically said we wouldn’t be taken seriously so they’ll only proceed if we put our house on the market, within twenty minutes I had a call with them trying to get a valuation visit booked in.

That’s reasonable. Put yourself in the position of someone trying to sell their home. Would you want to waste time showing people around if they weren’t even in a position to make a serious offer ?

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 06/02/2023 19:47

what are you supposed to do if yours sells straight away but you haven’t found another house. Sounds ridiculous

HolidayHun2020 · 06/02/2023 19:50

Just to reiterate the crux of my problem is, we are genuinely serious about this house. We wouldn’t want to view if not BUT whether our house is on the market or not, we could go in and it not be right for us. It makes me nervous that our house would then be on the market, need to be taken off and we would potentially alienate one of the biggest estate agents in our area.

We aren’t keen to put our house on the market for 6-12 months and actively house hunt because houses in the price bracket of current dream house are rare, so we need more cash saved and we want to see what happens with mortgage rates.

If the vendors had restrictions then FAIR ENOUGH, I do understand where everyone is coming from but as I understand it they don’t. This is all coming from the EA who wants to get our house up before a singular viewing that might not come to anything.

In a dream scenario, we view, we love it, we offer, they accept, we list, we sell. LOVING LIFE.

OP posts:
NumberTheory · 06/02/2023 19:50

So the estate agent said the vendor hasn’t mentioned any restrictions BUT they basically said we wouldn’t be taken seriously so they’ll only proceed if we put our house on the market, within twenty minutes I had a call with them trying to get a valuation visit booked in.

That’s bad. Another thing I realised with buying and selling in a different country is that estate agents don’t have to be a bunch of dishonest and unethical scum the way the ones in the UK seem to be.

I might post a letter through the door asking the vendors if they’d be interested and letting them know what their estate agents have done. They may not care but you don’t have much to lose.

elastamum · 06/02/2023 19:51

Whilst I understand your point of view, having been in the position of trying to sell a house which is a listed local landmark I would never again allow viewings from anyone who wasn't ready to proceed. The estate agent was rubbish and we were inundated with house tourists, wasting our time because they just wanted to look around. Most bought their kids with them, one even had a dog and expected to bring it into the house!

Genevieva · 06/02/2023 19:51

Go along with it if there is a serious possibility you might put an offer in. Invite the estate agent round to look at the house with the view to putting it on the market and see if you can book a viewing at the same time. That way you can get a better idea of your own house value and the sale process but not necessarily proceed as it won't be actively on the market at the point when you view.

HolidayHun2020 · 06/02/2023 19:52

Rosscameasdoody · 06/02/2023 19:47

That’s reasonable. Put yourself in the position of someone trying to sell their home. Would you want to waste time showing people around if they weren’t even in a position to make a serious offer ?

Genuine question though, no sass 😂 but what is the issue/what makes us unserious by being in a position to put in an offer (over asking) and saying give us a deadline to sell our house? I KNOW that’s not everyone’s dream scenario when selling but we do know people it’s happened to and if the vendors were happy?

OP posts:
Doris86 · 06/02/2023 19:57

@HolidayHun2020So the estate agent said the vendor hasn’t mentioned any restrictions BUT they basically said we wouldn’t be taken seriously so they’ll only proceed if we put our house on the market, within twenty minutes I had a call with them trying to get a valuation visit booked in.’

So as I suspected earlier, it’s all just a ploy by the estate agent to get them to list your house with them.

I’d definitely be putting a note through the letterbox telling them the EA was pulling this stunt, and explaining your genuine interest in viewing the property.

Thewildling · 06/02/2023 19:59

I’m an estate agent and I think it’s unreasonable. Why? Because I once had a vendor that would not let anyone view that wasn’t in a proceedable position. This one lady was absolutes desperate to see it, despite not having hers on the market. I eventually twisted the vendors arm and he let her view, she fell in love with it. I put her house on the market and sold it within 24 hours.. she happily put an offer in and all went through pretty quickly. This is not to say there aren’t time wasters, but not having your house on the market is not necessarily a bad thing. You have unfortunately found an estate agent that needs to hit their listing targets.

purpledalmation · 06/02/2023 20:00

It's time wasting

HolidayHun2020 · 06/02/2023 20:03

purpledalmation · 06/02/2023 20:00

It's time wasting

Why? If we put an offer in, with a caveat that we sell our property in X amount of time and our property up the next day.

OP posts:
Doris86 · 06/02/2023 20:06

HolidayHun2020 · 06/02/2023 20:03

Why? If we put an offer in, with a caveat that we sell our property in X amount of time and our property up the next day.

Indeed and that used to be a perfectly normal way of doing things. For some reason Mumsnet has decided that is unreasonable.

LillyBugg · 06/02/2023 20:14

@JudgeJ I totally see your point. There's more to my context than I wrote. I was in a complete chain, my vendor only accepted our offer as we were under offer. Chain fell apart. And the vendor generously gave us one month to find a new buyer. Hence my stringent rules!!!

Rinkydinkydoodle · 06/02/2023 20:15

OP, we had this a lot when we were looking, but it wasn’t is your sale agreed, it was ‘nothing to sell.’ So basically agents all want to know viewers are walking around with upwards of half a million quid in their back pocket - utterly deranged. There was one house we really wanted, but it was an estate sale and the agents claimed the family wanted a chain-free purchase. I told the agents that we mightn’t need to sell our existing property to buy theirs: problem solved from their end. It was both true and untrue insofar as I really didn’t want to do it but if it had come to it and it was that or lose this smashing house I had provisionally agreed to briefly borrow a horrible sum for a short time from a family member until we sold, like a nightmare inducing but interest-free bridging loan.

Had we decided not to go for it I wouldn’t have wasted anyone’s time, as we saw said dream house (aka the moneypit) with a lot of other people at once. No-one even asked who we were on the viewing morning, and we were in and out in ten minutes. Basically, we knew we were buying it before we ever set foot inside.

I can see why people say it’s morally objectionable to lie and viewing could be seen as time wasting if you’re not in a position to buy, say, if the vendors are anxious to sell for any reason and also having to show you round individually. However, speaking as a recent vendor sometimes it does no harm to play the long game. Say they show one lucky would-be purchaser round who’s agreed a sale, they get a deal going, and that deal subsequently falls through? Who’s to say you can’t sell your house quicker or offer more money than someone who ostensibly already has all their ducks in a row (we did) but turns out to be in the collapsing chain from hell. The viewer who hasn’t yet sold theirs just might be the person who’ll buy in the end, which is why when we sold ours we let anyone see it who wanted to, whether their property was on the market or not.

I showed everyone round individually. Truth be told, it was stress-inducing and we had a fair few people I think might have been just in for a nosy, but it wasn’t a shift down the salt-mines. In the end the family I would have wanted to get the house didn’t because the couple who bought it were living with parents so were ready to go - sadly, we needed it done and dusted quickly because of our seller’s demands (which didn’t turn out to be that urgent after all, they just didn’t want messed around). So this might actually be a cautionary tale about why there’s possibly no point torturing yourself if you’re not in a position to proceed 🥲

What if you fall in love with the house and the buyers want you to have it, but it might still have to go to someone who’s in a better position? Won’t that kill you?

If you don’t feel comfortable telling a lie, like ‘it’s for my parents’ which is fair enough, especially if you live locally, why don’t you ask the vendors directly, tell them you love the house, have had your eye on it for a while and would be serious about selling yours for theirs? They can only decline.

Blossomtoes · 06/02/2023 20:16

LillyBugg · 06/02/2023 20:14

@JudgeJ I totally see your point. There's more to my context than I wrote. I was in a complete chain, my vendor only accepted our offer as we were under offer. Chain fell apart. And the vendor generously gave us one month to find a new buyer. Hence my stringent rules!!!

I’d have thought that would be a good reason to get as many people through the door as possible.

mummabubs · 06/02/2023 20:16

I noticed @HolidayHun2020 that in your first update post you mentioned that you can forsee that your house may be difficult to sell, so to me I'd be led by this and get your house on the market now if you genuinely think this could be the house for you. Otherwise you're probably just setting yourself up to not have any offer you may make accepted anyway, and then you've just set yourself up for disappointment? We learned from this- we viewed our 'dream house' on the viewing day, fell in love, offered full asking price and put our house straight on the market. They got another offer that was £20k less than ours on the same day but went with them as they were proceedable and able to offer a quick completion. We felt absolutely gutted and resolved not to view anything else until we had an offer. (Funnily enough we now live on the same road as our original dream house, 4 doors down!)

StoneofDestiny · 06/02/2023 20:20

It's a PITA having people 'just looking' who are in no position to buy. It takes a lot of effort to get a house ready for viewing without having sightseers

mummabubs · 06/02/2023 20:20

Also meant to add to my post above, can you not ask an estate agent what their conditions would be if you wanted a break in selling? We sold with purple bricks (well aware that they have a crap rep but they worked well for us!) After we lost out on the dream house I mentioned above we came off the market for a few months as there was nothing else coming up that remotely interested us. PB had no issue as long as we relisted within a year of coming off, so if you took a similar approach then you could have the reassurance of not feeling committed to moving now if the right house hadn't come up?

ChildcareIsBroken · 06/02/2023 20:22

The whole UK estate market is broken, so I agree with you it's ridiculous. Everything is done without any guarantees. And in that broken system you'll be viewed as a time waster. Seller always wants someone who can proceed straight away:

  • so that they can immediately view houses to buy.
  • or, if chain free, so that they can get their money ASAP.
Otherwise your situation will add months to an already long and stressful process where the chain can break at any moment. Noone wants a weak link, and that would be you. I think something needs to change because it's ridiculous people can pull out at any moment before exchange with no consequences.
Rosscameasdoody · 06/02/2023 20:25

Blossomtoes · 06/02/2023 20:16

I’d have thought that would be a good reason to get as many people through the door as possible.

But not if they’re not in a position to even make an offer.

HolidayHun2020 · 06/02/2023 20:26

StoneofDestiny · 06/02/2023 20:20

It's a PITA having people 'just looking' who are in no position to buy. It takes a lot of effort to get a house ready for viewing without having sightseers

But genuinely, why can’t we buy? We make an offer on the provision we sell our house? If they are happy to wait I don’t see why that’s a problem.

OP posts:
LittleRedYoshi · 06/02/2023 20:31

I got the impression the sellers were fine with our position it’s the EA who have said it’s pointless

How did you get that impression?

LSSG · 06/02/2023 20:35

littlelandlord7 · 06/02/2023 15:55

It's not unreasonable from the agent OP however I'm hearing of more and more people including us who have viewed what we are looking for then put ours up with the same agent very swiftly. Vendors have given us 8 weeks to try and sell ours which I'm sure is an exception however we are buying something quirky that they are struggling to sell.
You could say you'll give them yours to sell if you like it and understand the house will be left on the market until you find buyers, although, if you've viewed before then perhaps not necessary?

Friends did exactly the same and theirs sold within 2 weeks.

Very different to when we bought Jan last year and it was best and finals / only allowed viewings if proceedable!

Agree, there's been a shift to this, last year it was as you describe.