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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask about 11-12 weeks miscarriage

35 replies

Namechange1234456677 · 05/02/2023 22:38

I think I’ll have one (11.5 weeks)… I have heavy bleeding and some cramping, somewhat period like pressure in lower abdomen and back. Been to emergency unit but they didnt see any signs on ultrasound, however my symptoms got much worse.

Please tell me in detail what happens when you have a mc at this stage. Lots of pain? Do you see the embrio? I’m so terrified of the unknown… would you rather have the mc at home or in hospital?

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange1234456677 · 05/02/2023 22:48

Forgot to add the emergency staff didn’t say whether to go back if symptoms get worse, so I’m not sure what the expectation is.

OP posts:
Tandora · 05/02/2023 22:48

Hi OP, I have no experience of this- (well I had a miscarriage at around 10-11 weeks but no bleeding and it wasn’t discovered until scan, then I had a D&C) but I have no advice but didn’t want to read and run, so sorry you are going through this xxxx

Tandora · 05/02/2023 22:50

Can you call EPU again if your symptoms are getting worse? You could go to A&E but in my experience A&E staff can sometimes be really cruel to women who turn up due to miscarriage. There’s not much they can do for you. I’d stay home and if the cramping gets really bad, perhaps get in the bath? Xx

Original poster
Namechange1234456677 · 05/02/2023 22:51

@Tandora thanks for the reply, I’m sorry it happened to you. It’s hard when you’re so close to the end of the first trimester…

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 05/02/2023 22:56

So sorry this is happening to you.
If you soak through a pad an hour, or have severe pain, you should go back to A & E.

indecisivewoman81 · 05/02/2023 23:01

This happened to me and the pain was pretty bad. I was bleeding very heavily at one point and felt very scared. I passed large clots over a 24 hour period and was violently sick. I didn't see anything but felt it come out and land in the toilet.

It was horrible and I am sorry you are going through this. Don't be afraid to call the EPU.

Tandora · 05/02/2023 23:02

Namechange1234456677 · 05/02/2023 22:51

@Tandora thanks for the reply, I’m sorry it happened to you. It’s hard when you’re so close to the end of the first trimester…

It’s really hard. Praying that it works out ok for you. It’s a good sign that things looked good on the last scan. heavy bleeding could be a hematoma, in which case hopefully baby will be fine xxx

Original poster
Namechange1234456677 · 05/02/2023 23:06

Thanks @TheShellBeach I guess that’s best if symptoms are very bad, even if they can’t help much.

i’m so annoyed I did some running and jumping yesterday, didnt realise it was not advised, it may have caused all this…

OP posts:
Original poster
Namechange1234456677 · 05/02/2023 23:10

@indecisivewoman81 thanks very much for your reply, i’m so sorry for you, must have been very hard.

@Tandora they said they couldn’t see a hematoma or any other reason

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 05/02/2023 23:11

Namechange1234456677 · 05/02/2023 23:06

Thanks @TheShellBeach I guess that’s best if symptoms are very bad, even if they can’t help much.

i’m so annoyed I did some running and jumping yesterday, didnt realise it was not advised, it may have caused all this…

Not at all.
Running and jumping don't cause miscarriages.
I've had several. It's usually because the baby had a genetic problem.
After all, lots of women ride horses while pregnant.
Don't blame yourself. I know that isn't easy.

Bbqchicken · 05/02/2023 23:11

What were the results of the scan? Do you know 100% when you conceived and did that match the scan dates? Did they see Heartbeat.

2 x MC here both very different. I also bled throughout all my pregnancys both sucessfull and MC.

shhsleepin · 05/02/2023 23:13

Sorry you're going through this.

I had bleeding and cramps for a few days this then progressed to intense cramps for about 3 hours. I went to the toilet and passed the sac. I bled quite heavily for the rest of the day but then it tapered off.

I'd get in contact with EPU, they can rescan you etc.

TheShellBeach · 05/02/2023 23:15

You asked what happened - yes, they were painful and they were a lot of clots.
I wad in hospital by then and had morphine for the pain.
Maybe yours will be okay?
What did they see on the scan?

Original poster
Namechange1234456677 · 05/02/2023 23:17

@Bbqchicken yes, i had multiple scans throughout and dates were matching.

i was just thinking maybe the jump, which felt quite painful in my abdomen caused some placental separation or similar issue. I didn’t do any such exercises earlier in the pregnancy.

OP posts:
Motheranddaughtertotwo · 05/02/2023 23:20

Namechange1234456677 · 05/02/2023 23:06

Thanks @TheShellBeach I guess that’s best if symptoms are very bad, even if they can’t help much.

i’m so annoyed I did some running and jumping yesterday, didnt realise it was not advised, it may have caused all this…

You did not cause this, please try not to blame yourself. I miscarried at 12 weeks (just after I started telling people). I initially had a few brown drops of blood and cramps, I then had red blood. My maternity dept wouldn’t scan me because no doctors were available so I booked a private scan which confirmed there was so heartbeat. I bled a lot and was in excruciating pain for days.
I was always told it’s only red blood that is worrying. Make an urgent appointment at your Maternity unit, you could still be fine.

Original poster
Namechange1234456677 · 05/02/2023 23:20

There was heartbeat and movement. They just said they can’t do anything else.

OP posts:
Tandora · 05/02/2023 23:21

Namechange1234456677 · 05/02/2023 23:06

Thanks @TheShellBeach I guess that’s best if symptoms are very bad, even if they can’t help much.

i’m so annoyed I did some running and jumping yesterday, didnt realise it was not advised, it may have caused all this…

Not at all - you didn’t cause this - it’s not your fault . Exercise is healthy in pregnancy it wouldn’t cause a miscarriage if all was health and well. if you are having a miscarriage , most likely it’s something genetically wrong with the fetus that means it can’t develop, it’s so so hard, sending love, and yes do go to A&E if the plain/ bleeding gets really bad xx

LittleBrownJug · 05/02/2023 23:28

Hi - so sorry this is happening to you. 💐

Trigger warning: this is my experience of miscarrying at 12 weeks at home, and it was awful. My advice would be to go to hospital if you can, & get proper care and pain relief.

———

I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and I won’t sugar coat it, it was awful. Bleeding started on a Friday late afternoon when I was at work. I went to A&E, they checked me out but as my cervix hadn’t opened at that point, they sent me home. If they had done a scan they would have seen no heartbeat & I could have had a D&C in hospital. I was young and naive and did not insist on scan, and I had no idea I could not get one over the weekend. Bleeding got much worse overnight & I knew I was losing the baby. Back to A&E on Saturday morning; cervix still closed so they sent me home. Took the whole weekend. So much blood and large amounts of clots and womb lining. Was up all Saturday night running to the toilet. It was incredibly painful and traumatic. I’ve since given birth and the cramps were contractions; as bad as giving birth. I just laid on bathroom floor for hours. Passed the foetus right at end, on the Sunday night. Couldn’t bear to look. Wrapped in tissue and eventually buried in the garden in a little ceremony. Honestly did not know what else to do with it, could not even contemplate flushing it down the loo. It was a terrible, horrible, distressing. I’d opt for hospital - pain relief; D&C. Stand your ground; insist on a scan.

TheShellBeach · 05/02/2023 23:32

Namechange1234456677 · 05/02/2023 23:20

There was heartbeat and movement. They just said they can’t do anything else.

Ah, that's good.
They said they can't do anything else because that's the literal truth. There is nothing that can be done in this situation.

If you saw the heartbeat that is a very good sign.

Please stop beating yourself up about jumping. Gymnasts and athletes compete when pregnant. I remember a famous tennis player doing Wimbledon when she was pregnant. Exercise does not cause bleeding in pregnancy.

However, women always inevitably feel guilt when something threatens their pregnancies. This is normal and natural - although it is also misplaced. As I said earlier, the most common reason for a miscarriage is a genetic problem with the baby. www.nhs.uk/conditions/miscarriage/causes/

You can find help and support here too: www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk

In the meantime, go back to the hospital if you soak through a pad an hour, or have bad pain. It is very reassuring that your baby's heartbeat was seen on a scan.

WellyBoot12345 · 05/02/2023 23:33

You asked what happened, so for me I lost a baby at 13 weeks. I had brown blood for about a week before and already knew it was likely that I would lose the baby (I’d had a scan that had picked up that there were problems). I’d already checked with the ward whether I needed to come in if I was miscarrying, and they said if I was comfortable being at home, then to stay there, I didn’t have to be on the ward for it. I started getting cramps like period pain and then they turned into contractions like labour, but not as painful and it didn’t last as long, maybe about 45 minutes. I went to go for a bath to help but just before I got in I passed the baby complete in the sac. I could see the baby curled up inside but didn’t want to look too closely. Then I passed the placenta on the loo. As soon as I’d lost the baby, the physical pain was completely over. I bled for a bit like after having a baby, but not very long.

Hope this isn’t too blunt, but I had no idea what to expect and would have liked to know someone else’s experience.

I do hope you’re ok, please don’t blame yourself, you haven’t caused this.

strawberryandcreams · 05/02/2023 23:36

Namechange1234456677 · 05/02/2023 23:06

Thanks @TheShellBeach I guess that’s best if symptoms are very bad, even if they can’t help much.

i’m so annoyed I did some running and jumping yesterday, didnt realise it was not advised, it may have caused all this…

OP, there have been Olympians who have competed whilst pregnant. You did not cause this ❤️

TheShellBeach · 05/02/2023 23:37

yes, i had multiple scans throughout and dates were matching.

Why have you had multiple scans?

LittleBrownJug · 05/02/2023 23:38

just read whole thread & seen that you’ve been scanned & scan showed heartbeat and movement - that’s good. Echo other posters advice about watch and wait. Fingers crossed for you OP.

I knew something was wrong with my pregnancy — I stopped feeling nauseous and just knew something was wrong about a week - two weeks before I started to bleed. So I think my baby died then and it took a while before my body started to miscarry.

Your pregnancy sounds very different.
wishing you all the luck in the world.

Bbqchicken · 05/02/2023 23:42

I am so sorry you are going through this worry. Please dont blame yourself or anything you feel may have provoked it. As hard as it is you can not change the outcome, just take it easy and dont do anything strenuous. I have had bleeding for a number of reasons. With my DD they could see blood in the womb from which they presumed was implantation which they said would work its way out as it was the cause of the bleeding. With DS they decided I had a sensitive cervix. I have been at the EPU so many times. My first natural MC was a blighted ovum, if you have had successful scans you know its not that. With second MC I was around 13 weeks and ended up with a D&C but baby had stopped growing a few weeks before so if your dates all tie up and it was all fine on the scan thats really positive.

I am so sorry you are going through this though as really hard just waiting. Please try not to worry and get some rest it will likely be OK especially if all scans were fine thats a really positive sign. A natural misscarrage is very painful loads and loads of blood, to the extent I couldnt get off the loo. For me it was way worse than even the worst period pains. You may experiance cramps like mild period pains throughout your pregnancy. If you do have heavy bleeding then do head back to A&E or EPU. If your local A&E havent reffered you already get onto the GP or local midwives first thing and get a referral for a follow-up scan. Really please try not to worry as I said I bled for both sucessfull and non sucessfull pregnancys while it shouldnt be ignorred and sucessfull scan is very positive. With DS I refused to believe the sucessfull scan and set myself up for the worst, he is now 20 months old. Please try and get some rest as that is the best thing at the moment for both you and baby.

Greysqueen2016 · 06/02/2023 09:42

As traumatic as it was, I've miscarried twice at home, and honestly if it happened again I'd still choose home. I was only 8 weeks with my first, it was painful, about an hour before I started feeling really sick and started having contractions. Then Sat on the toilet for about an hour, until the worst had passed. My baby was passed still fully enclosed in its sac. very clear, you could see its eyes, arm and leg buds, clear spine and where its heart was previously beating away only 24 hours previously on the scan. Second experience was very similar, but I was more prepared. Sending you positive vibes, hopefully it wont happen to you x

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