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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is out of line

48 replies

coffeewithmilk · 05/02/2023 14:26

Currently in A&E with my 1 year old who is horrifically sick with some sort of bug.. constant vomiting, very pale, on lots of different drips etc.
Both myself and husband are here and this nurse just came in and said 'only one person can be here'

AIBU to think this is out of line

I know they've implemented policies around covid with less footfall through the hospital, but surely this can be done with now, I think it's only convenient for them as less people to deal with
Understand in high risk areas like ICU etc but when your baby is involved you just both want to be there to support each other

OP posts:
PinkyU · 05/02/2023 14:28

It’ll be one person at a time, can you take it in turns to be with lo whilst the other parent gets a drink, some fresh air, a walk, a toilet break etc?

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 05/02/2023 14:30

Capacity issue perhaps?
When I was in A&E the last time the amount of non-patients taking up chairs or bugging the staff was ridiculous.
There is also an infection risk, loads of people in a small, vulnerable place like A&E

TheSnowyOwl · 05/02/2023 14:30

I can understand your view but this has long been the rule and it’s not always something related to covid. I hope your child is much better soon.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 05/02/2023 14:31

Also it needs to be convenient for them. They are the ones trying to help/save people. Make it as easy and convenient for them as you possibly can.

I do understand though, no one wants to leave a sick baby

HalfasleepChrisintheMorning · 05/02/2023 14:31

YANBU when accompanying a small child.

Babsexxx · 05/02/2023 14:31

No it’s absolutely not out of line unfortunately covid has gone rife again you are not special so follow the rules! Why does it require both of you to be there? You can communicate soo easily WhatsApp etc text!

Makes zero sense your 1 year old won’t know any different aslong as there is a parent with them silly post imo if and that’s a big if anything was sinister they would tell you to get your partner in for a discussion but at the moment your just waiting and watching.

ouch321 · 05/02/2023 14:32

It's the rule.

Rules apply to you as well as everyone else.

Sarahcoggles · 05/02/2023 14:32

YABU.

Goldandpurplezebra · 05/02/2023 14:33

YABU.

No I don't think they are out of line.

Wolfiefan · 05/02/2023 14:35

It’s stressful to be dealing with a poorly child. But they can’t have multiple adults getting in the way of them doing their job. It’s not just a covid rule.

TomatoSandwiches · 05/02/2023 14:35

You will unfortunately have to tag team with your OH, I understand the frustration, we had numerous similar situations and long stays in hospital with our disabled youngest over the last 2 years but that is the rule, no exceptions.

4thonthe4th · 05/02/2023 14:35

Of course it isn’t out of line. One parent stays one goes home.

thestealthwee · 05/02/2023 14:36

I'm sorry your child is poorly but YABVU

Lots of adults milling around just creates noisy busy wards disrupting everyone else around them - fellow patients as well as staff

Original poster
coffeewithmilk · 05/02/2023 14:38

Oh right sorry if I offended anyone with my AIBU. I was just curious as to why this is the rule when we are in a single room with the door closed, own bed and toilet - not taking up anyone else's space or seat or getting in the way

OP posts:
blippyissilly · 05/02/2023 14:38

When we had to take DD to A&E in the height of Covid we took it in turns going and sitting in the car for twenty minutes and then swapping over

This was two years ago+

Didn't realise it was still a think. Covid gets used as a convenient excuse for all sorts of things now

PinkyU · 05/02/2023 14:38

4thonthe4th · 05/02/2023 14:35

Of course it isn’t out of line. One parent stays one goes home.

We’ll they don’t have to go home, they can be close by out of the department to offer breaks etc.

When one of ours was in overnight as a very small baby due to breathing issues my OH slept in the car out in the car park to be close by and offer me breaks and have time with our wee one.

4thonthe4th · 05/02/2023 14:39

You’ve not offended anyone, it’s just nonsensical you’re offended by a longstanding rule. It was like this long before covid.
You don’t both need to be there. Take turns to sleep over if your child is admitted. There isn’t room for you both to sleep or be comfortable surely?

PinkyU · 05/02/2023 14:40

PinkyU · 05/02/2023 14:38

We’ll they don’t have to go home, they can be close by out of the department to offer breaks etc.

When one of ours was in overnight as a very small baby due to breathing issues my OH slept in the car out in the car park to be close by and offer me breaks and have time with our wee one.

Show quote history

This was over a decade ago.

TheSnowyOwl · 05/02/2023 14:40

coffeewithmilk · 05/02/2023 14:38

Oh right sorry if I offended anyone with my AIBU. I was just curious as to why this is the rule when we are in a single room with the door closed, own bed and toilet - not taking up anyone else's space or seat or getting in the way

But why are you so special that you should be treated differently to the parents of the child in a ward?

4thonthe4th · 05/02/2023 14:40

PinkyU · 05/02/2023 14:38

We’ll they don’t have to go home, they can be close by out of the department to offer breaks etc.

When one of ours was in overnight as a very small baby due to breathing issues my OH slept in the car out in the car park to be close by and offer me breaks and have time with our wee one.

Show quote history

Ok. Be somewhere else. Point is, they don’t both need to be there. Me and my DH took turns to go home to our other children.

Original poster
coffeewithmilk · 05/02/2023 14:41

I'm not a frequent flyer of hospitals so just assumed both would be allowed stay given the age of the child.
Eyes have been opened now, and I've sent DH home to rest so he can do the nightshift

OP posts:
4thonthe4th · 05/02/2023 14:41

coffeewithmilk · 05/02/2023 14:41

I'm not a frequent flyer of hospitals so just assumed both would be allowed stay given the age of the child.
Eyes have been opened now, and I've sent DH home to rest so he can do the nightshift

It makes sense to take it in turns to get a good nights sleep. It’s pretty impossible to do so when in hospital with lights, obs, machine noises etc. hope your little one recovers soon.

JudgeRudy · 05/02/2023 14:42

HalfasleepChrisintheMorning · 05/02/2023 14:31

YANBU when accompanying a small child.

Why would it make a difference because the child is small?

minihitch · 05/02/2023 14:44

Why would it make a difference because the child is small?

I assume you'd be more comfortable leaving a 12 yr old whilst you went and got a sandwich then a 1 yr old?

Purplepepsi · 05/02/2023 14:50

When my daughter was in 12 years ago we were only allowed one adult overnight. Although he was allowed to visit in the day. I was breastfeeding so it had to be me!