To think this is out of line

[coffeewithmilk]

Currently in A&E with my 1 year old who is horrifically sick with some sort of bug.. constant vomiting, very pale, on lots of different drips etc.
Both myself and husband are here and this nurse just came in and said 'only one person can be here'

AIBU to think this is out of line

I know they've implemented policies around covid with less footfall through the hospital, but surely this can be done with now, I think it's only convenient for them as less people to deal with
Understand in high risk areas like ICU etc but when your baby is involved you just both want to be there to support each other

Did she say why?

Yanbu.

It's normal and was pre-covid. I spent a week in hospital with DD in 2012 when she was 5 weeks old and only one of us were allowed in the ward at any one time..

No, it's not remotely out of line.

I have a hospital appointment tomorrow and received a text on Friday saying about "new" covid precautions and to wear a face covering. So maybe they're tightening up on it again.

I personally don't think you're being unreasonable OP, I'm sure you want to support each other as much as your baby but I guess they have their reasons.

Hope they're better very soon 🙂

There is only so much room in A&E so they do restrict number of people with kids or some would have 1/2 their extended family there. Normally wards allow both parents in the day but only 1 over night.

Well, she might have her reasons for wishing it were different but she's hardly reasonable to proclaim it "out of line" as if she'd been treated badly.

I understand but it’s probably quite good for you both too. You can take it in turns to be with your little one whilst the other gets to go home and sleep. You can’t both be there all the time, you’ll end up collapsing.

“Out of line” is a strange expression to use though - perhaps “a little bit unsympathetic” would be more appropriate

Hope your little one gets better soon @coffeewithmilk , must be very worrying for you x

My child was seriously unwell recently and in hospital for over a week. We where allowed two at all times but I think that was because he was so poorly. Other beds where only allowed one parent.

Maybe it's because your DC is vomiting and the staff would rather restrict the amount of people who have come into contact with your Dc due to infection control? Having 1 parent who may pass it on is bad enough, but 2, well it's not a risk they are prepared to take maybe?

YABU
And I’m glad they said something.

I remember me and my very poorly DD having to sit on the floor of A&E for almost 9 hours because one child had both parent and grandparents there with them.
They got to go home and we had to stay the night so their child wasn’t even that poorly.

I think we’ve had to stand it sit on the floor every time we’ve been to A&E, fortunately we’ve not needed to go often.

If everyone brought a second adult it soon gets very busy.

If you both happen to be there then one of you can sit in the car, pop to the shops or to a cafe etc and then swap to give the other parent a break and let them stretch their legs etc.

Doubtful, maybe it depends on the ward? When my son had meningitis at 8 weeks old, it was 1 parent to stay overnight due to space. If your child didn’t have long to live, both could stay at all times.

I completely see your point. It seems officious and Rudy to make one if you leave under these circumstances.

It will be the same if you are admitted. One parent at a time.

It's due to covid, which is still rife as is flu, although many people like to think it doesn't exist or that it's an excuse for these policies but the NHS is still battling it daily.

Maybe out of line needed a bit more context - this woman (presumably a member of staff) barged into the room, gave no introduction and just said only 1 person could be here and left slamming the door behind her.. the rudeness and abruptness was not needed.
I understand now only 1 can be here.

It's just not what you expect when you are paying through the nose for private healthcare (no we aren't in the UK)

The problem is if they let you bend the rules cos you're in a side room there will be another 20 parents at the desk moaning it's not fair you are favouritised. Your theory on just protecting icu etc doesn't really work as anaesthetists/icu drs are in and out of paeds resus/a&e every 5mins and the more exposure they get to unnecessary people the more germs they risk bringing back onto icu.

It's difficult I totally get it, but the less people we have in hospital currently when so overcrowded at the best of times the better. Try to tag team breaks sleep/getting food etc x

Perhaps it would’ve been helpful to point out you weren’t in the UK in your OP so we wouldn’t all come along with expectations of UK hospitals.

Not so much as a drip feed, more a waterfall.

😂

Yes, one can only wonder why that helpful "context" was only released after you were told ywbu 🤔
You're still unreasonable, btw

I've unfortunately had to use both private and NHS care on a number of occasions over the past couple of years. In my experience both have been, and remain very strict re numbers and visitors. If anything, the private sector has been more strict so even though you're being seen privately it isn't a surprise.

I suspect the woman was brief and blunt to avoid any debate. Not suggesting the way she went about things was correct, but I can imagine it can be very irritating being challenged on what is the company policy. By way of an example in the NICU, one parent created absolute mayhem at being asked to leave and to isolate as it turns out she had covid. Said parent didn't seem to understand she could pass it to her own child (born at term). She was even less bothered about potentially passing it to others like my 24 weeker who was already dealing with with sepsis, brain bleeds, chronic lung disease in the cot next to her. The abuse doled out to staff by said parent was unacceptable.