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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP let friend massage him during outing

60 replies

Perridot · 05/02/2023 12:35

I genuinely don’t know if I’m overreacting here. Me and DP were out with friends. A mixture of men and women. He has a shoulder injury that’s very painful and he can’t do much with that arm at the moment. Just lifting it hurts. Anyway at some point he gets chatting to a friend of mine who works with animals and is familiar with the type of injury he has. I look over and she’s massaging his shoulder. It went on for a few minutes in front of everyone and there were some confused looks. We spoke about it after and I made it clear I thought it was inappropriate. He said he felt uncomfortable whilst she was doing it. I don’t get why he didn’t tell her to stop when she started? I would have just said no thanks it’s too sore. I would never let another man touch me like that especially not in front of my partner. He said he didn’t mean for it to look the way it did but I just feel annoyed and a little embarrassed. AIBU to feel like this?

OP posts:
MissMaple82 · 05/02/2023 13:07

Ffs since when is massage "touching like that"

TootHole · 05/02/2023 13:08

IsThePopeCatholic · 05/02/2023 12:57

If she works with animals, does she know anything about human anatomy?

Depends on her qualification, but most have to complete human courses before going on to canine/equine etc.

For example, one must qualify as an osteopath, before being allowed on the 1 year canine osteopathy course, and that practitioner will have to complete CPD and so many human appointments per year, to retain membership to the general osteopathy Council - hence they usually start treating owner and pet.

jacult · 05/02/2023 13:09

Sometimes my male friends give me an actual hug and kiss on the cheek in front of our other friends and my husband!!

Rightsraptor · 05/02/2023 13:10

There are people who think they are really good at massage (they seldom are I find) who will jump in and do this uninvited. She seems to be one of them.

I hope your DP would say a firm 'no' if she tries it again.

I'd let it pass if I were you OP. It was not what I'd like to see either but it's not such a huge thing in the grand scheme of things.

EmmaDilemma5 · 05/02/2023 13:13

You sound possessive.

Your friend knows how to treat his specific issue. She tried to help. That's all. No affair. No seduction. No drama.

Move on (and grow up)

BabyOnBoard90 · 05/02/2023 13:17

Perridot · 05/02/2023 12:35

I genuinely don’t know if I’m overreacting here. Me and DP were out with friends. A mixture of men and women. He has a shoulder injury that’s very painful and he can’t do much with that arm at the moment. Just lifting it hurts. Anyway at some point he gets chatting to a friend of mine who works with animals and is familiar with the type of injury he has. I look over and she’s massaging his shoulder. It went on for a few minutes in front of everyone and there were some confused looks. We spoke about it after and I made it clear I thought it was inappropriate. He said he felt uncomfortable whilst she was doing it. I don’t get why he didn’t tell her to stop when she started? I would have just said no thanks it’s too sore. I would never let another man touch me like that especially not in front of my partner. He said he didn’t mean for it to look the way it did but I just feel annoyed and a little embarrassed. AIBU to feel like this?

YANBU for feeling uncomfortable with another woman unexpectedly massaging your partner. Perfectly human response, even if there was nothing in it.

Mumsnet users are pretty eccentric, so take the responses with a grain of salt.

Keepyourmummysboys · 05/02/2023 13:19

BabyOnBoard90 · 05/02/2023 13:17

YANBU for feeling uncomfortable with another woman unexpectedly massaging your partner. Perfectly human response, even if there was nothing in it.

Mumsnet users are pretty eccentric, so take the responses with a grain of salt.

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Um no it’s not a perfectly human response .

VioletaDelValle · 05/02/2023 13:22

Why is this inappropriate?

My DH's friend is a PT but also does massages . My DH gave me his PT slot this week just so his friend could give me a massage as I've got a back injury. We were alone too 😂😂

Autumnnewname · 05/02/2023 13:24

Poor bloke.

BabyOnBoard90 · 05/02/2023 13:47

Keepyourmummysboys · 05/02/2023 13:19

Um no it’s not a perfectly human response .

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