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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Doctors ignoring me for a year and now it's come to this

380 replies

Laurawharton · 05/02/2023 03:46

Aibu to think I should go to a and e tomorrow (really don't want to as I know they are busy) or just face the fact that no one cares
Had a lump appear by my eye last Christmas. I thought it was a spot until it didn't move for 3 months so phoned the doctors who wouldn't see me face to face but told me that it would need to be off in a strict 6 month time scale if it's not gone by then. 6 months later I phoned to say it's still there and now larger. I had a different doctor who basically said 'and why are you telling us that go private it's cosmetic'. Phoned again to get a face to face as everyone was screaming cancer at me, finally got a face to face and told they don't know what it is but yeah go private to have it off or join a over 2 year waiting list.
Anyway about a month ago it grew big again so phoned them as I was concerned as it's so close to my eye and was starting to mess with my vision and give me headache and that side of my face kept going numb. They said they referred me but still heard nothing. Now it's the size of a golf ball red and angry closing up half my eye. Swollen both my eye lid and my under eye. Painful as hell I Carnt sleep don't want to eat, put it this way I was a size 16 now even size ten is a bit big on me. I Carnt sleep properly, people keep staring at me when I go out so I no longer want to leave the house. I saw the doctor again and all he said was he will send fresh pictures along to my referral.
I don't know what to do I'm scared I'm going to blind in one eye due to the pressure and I'm not sure how my face will now look after it's gone if they ever get round to it. How long can they leave me in this much pain.
Is it worth just going down a and e and seeing if they will do anything? my partner has already stopped me twice from taking matters into my own hands aka self removal. My thinking was if I mess up they will have to something, I know it's not the right thing to do but I'm so scared and in so much pain.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
CaraVann · 05/02/2023 12:22

Why is everyone ignoring the fact op has lost a considerable amount of weight and just focusing on wasting time at A&E? The GP isn’t taking her seriously. Where else is she supposed to go?
My mil was told by her GP, for a year, that her stomach issues where IBS. The pain became worse so we took her to A&E where they discovered she did not have IBS but metastatic Neuroendocrine bowel cancer.
If a GP doesn’t take any a patient seriously then what else should they do?

Everyonehasavoice · 05/02/2023 12:24

My dh has just mentioned a good point
You may have two completely separate issues going on here
One is your eye
The second is the weight loss

Make an appointment with your gp just on the weight loss issue
They will consider that as potentially more serious, don’t mention the eye unless they ask if you have any lumps.

No doctor can ignore the lump when they see you, but make sure they deal with the weight loss issue

Mirabai · 05/02/2023 12:25

AIBUYesSometimes · 05/02/2023 12:05

The dr hasn't ignored you for a year. Steps were put in place but you let them slide and didn't chase the referral.

Meanwhile you could have made a face to face appt again and insisted on some disgnosis or treatment.

It's not in your eye, it's on the corner of your outer eye near your cheek.
(I assumed it was your inner eye near your nose.)

It looks like a boil or an inflamed cyst.

It's not an accident (it's been there a long time) and it's not an emergency.

Yes, it's uncomfortable, but not life threatening.

I think you should either find a walk-in centre OR make sure you see a GP tomorrow and say it's important.

If it's been bothering you for so long that you don't want to go out, I can't understand why you've not been proactive and got to see a dr sooner. You can't expect them to run around after you , sadly, you have to take responsibility yourself.

Red angry painful boil with facial numbness = trip to A&E to have it drained asap.

It’s not something that can be done in a walk in clinic or even minor injuries. Some GP practices have a GP who can do minor surgical stuff but her practice probably would have offered that if available.

Kennykenkencat · 05/02/2023 12:25

Maybe if GPs actually referred people to the proper departments or treated people in the first place when people go to them instead of fobbing them off and fobbing them off until a minor procedure becomes a huge operation and 4 month hospital stay then A&E might be emptier

AIBUYesSometimes · 05/02/2023 12:26

Kennykenkencat · 05/02/2023 12:21

But what is that going to do? She has had a face to face and nothing gets done. It’s just wasting time.

You wait a fortnight in pain only to come out of the appointment no further on than when you made the appointment

Show quote history

She should go back to the GP tomorrow.

Walk into reception and show them and ask for a same day appt.

The GP has not seen it recently. Have you read the timeline?

It's now clearly infected.
Take Ibuprofen today and use a cold flannel to take down the swelling.
Put some antiseptic cream on it.

It's nothing to do with her eye.
It's on the outer corner of her eyebrow , on her temple.

Mirabai · 05/02/2023 12:26

OP is your weight loss historic or have you only lost it over this period? Have you been on a diet or are you eating normally?

You must tell the doctors this when you go. Work out the amount.

Crumpetdisappointment · 05/02/2023 12:27

if they felt it just needed draining surely that is surgical team, day surgery at tht. rather than dermatology.

AIBUYesSometimes · 05/02/2023 12:28

It’s not something that can be done in a walk in clinic or even minor injuries.

Are you a dr or nurse?

Why are you telling her what can't be done ?

Everyonehasavoice · 05/02/2023 12:28

Kennykenkencat · 05/02/2023 12:09

And that is what is wrong with the NHS.

How can the NHS become fit for purpose if those that work in it don’t believe there is anything wrong.

From my families experience this is normal treatment.

Show quote history

My cousin has been very I’ll and fobbed off constantly. As soon as she reminded her gp she was a nurse she was treated seriously and dealt with.
Maybe that’s why you can’t understand the problem

lljkk · 05/02/2023 12:29

don't seem to know that A&E is for life risking injuries or disease.

So... last time I broke my arm I absolutely no way not a chance should have gone to A&E. Because it was merely painful but certainly not a disease or life-threatening. I totally did the wrong thing. My bad. Sorry.

Out of curiosity, was there any NH service I should have used instead?

Kennykenkencat · 05/02/2023 12:30

CaraVann · 05/02/2023 12:22

Why is everyone ignoring the fact op has lost a considerable amount of weight and just focusing on wasting time at A&E? The GP isn’t taking her seriously. Where else is she supposed to go?
My mil was told by her GP, for a year, that her stomach issues where IBS. The pain became worse so we took her to A&E where they discovered she did not have IBS but metastatic Neuroendocrine bowel cancer.
If a GP doesn’t take any a patient seriously then what else should they do?

We had similar with Dh
I had to virtually carry him into A&E after the GPs he saw at his surgery said he was constipated and when he went because of the weight loss apparently that was because he was stressed.

If op goes about the weight loss she will be told it is stress
Nothing will be done.

bellac11 · 05/02/2023 12:30

Kennykenkencat · 05/02/2023 12:17

But where else is there to go?

I have used A&E to get an allergy test. My GP said that you couldn’t get tested for allergies

When my daughter rang the receptionist at the surgery to book an appointment because she saw how much I had benefitted from actually knowing my allergies she was told you couldn’t get such a thing as an allergy test.
When she pointed out that I had one, she was told I was lying. When she told them she had seen the patch test taped all over my back she was told that some people go to extremes in making things up to get people to believe them.

What would you do in those circumstances.

Show quote history

You complain to the practice manager

Why on earth would you think the solution is going to A+E

Mirabai · 05/02/2023 12:30

AIBUYesSometimes · 05/02/2023 12:26

She should go back to the GP tomorrow.

Walk into reception and show them and ask for a same day appt.

The GP has not seen it recently. Have you read the timeline?

It's now clearly infected.
Take Ibuprofen today and use a cold flannel to take down the swelling.
Put some antiseptic cream on it.

It's nothing to do with her eye.
It's on the outer corner of her eyebrow , on her temple.

Show quote history

The GP will just tell her to go to A&E to have it drained.

All the GP can do is prescribe antibiotics and they don’t tend to permeate the wall anyway - unlikely to work.

Fladdermus · 05/02/2023 12:31

AIBUYesSometimes · 05/02/2023 12:12

Yet another poster who doesn't know what an accident or emergency is.

FGS.

People have become so confused that they don't seem to know that A&E is for life risking injuries or disease.

Being in pain with a boil or cyst is not pleasant but she's not dying. she is struggling to speak because it's swollen.

Take some painkillers. Turn up at the drs tomorrow at the door, show them at reception and say you need an appt.

Show quote history

Well you clearly don't know what it's for either as the NHS disagree with you and advise ringing 999 or attending A&E if your symptoms include disorientation and difficulty speaking.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/confusion/#:~:text=Immediate%20action%20required%3A%20Go%20to,someone%20suddenly%20becomes%20confused

lljkk · 05/02/2023 12:31

Oh yeah, anyone remember the poor guy in 24 Hours in A&E who dislocated his jaw? It was quite a visible thing if you're a fan. He wasn't even in terrible pain, just couldn't close his mouth.

Since that wasn't life-threatening or even terribly painful, he also screwed up going to A&E. Was he supposed to stay like that for life, I wonder.

Bloopsie · 05/02/2023 12:32

All larger cities have eye hospitals they take emergency appointments too. Put a complaint in about the GP and go to an eye hospital

Crumpetdisappointment · 05/02/2023 12:33

a broken shoulder/dislocated jaw is correct - Accident.

Everyonehasavoice · 05/02/2023 12:33

Kennykenkencat · 05/02/2023 12:30

We had similar with Dh
I had to virtually carry him into A&E after the GPs he saw at his surgery said he was constipated and when he went because of the weight loss apparently that was because he was stressed.

If op goes about the weight loss she will be told it is stress
Nothing will be done.

Show quote history

Not the case with our gp
Unfortunately you just have to be prepared to stand your ground, insist you’re tested and don’t leave until this is agreed.

YouWithoutEnd · 05/02/2023 12:33

It sounds like it might have been a simple cyst to begin with, but now like it might be infected. Have you got an eye casualty nearby?

whatadoodledo · 05/02/2023 12:34

This poster has been REFUSED help by her GP. She has no option but to go to A&E. Not sure what part of this people are struggling with!?

DeadOrchid · 05/02/2023 12:36

You are seriously recommending that someone puts mag sulph paste near to their eye?

Crumpetdisappointment · 05/02/2023 12:36

yes but @whatadoodledo
it was suggested at 3 in the morning that she go
the first bus she said was 10.00 in the morning
has she updated since 10?

Sugarfree23 · 05/02/2023 12:36

Op have you contacted 111 or A&E today?

Crumpetdisappointment · 05/02/2023 12:37

@Laurawharton has to make her own decision.

ApolloandDaphne · 05/02/2023 12:37

If you can spare the time then i think A&E is a good call. If it is infected they can at least give you antibiotics and maybe advise on what needs to be done next.